I can't stand the thought of you
Like a protruding nail I want to hammer you down
into the wood until you're just like every other pain
I want to look at you and feel nothing
The desire for revenge is sickening me
I am mad with fury, red with anger
In a fit of rage I might do something I would regret
Stay away from me for all time

I cannot
live
like most

to travel
from coast
to coast

to eat
my fill
of roast

to raise
a glass
a toast

For I
have naught
to boast

I am
just like
a ghost

I live
just like
a corpse

No sound
escapes
my throat

Sometimes
I feel
remorse

Still I
can't leave
my post

I do
not have
a choice

until
I find
my voice

Not many men wear skirts
but many women wear pants
When women and children are leaders
no one is happy
Men worshipping idols
Women chasing money and independence
Turning our backs on the Lord
Afraid and in dismay
Men kneel before their mothers wanting to go back
into her arms to **** on her ****** once again

Men are catty and ready to fight for no reason
Women have *** with so many partners it's disgusting
We have ****** men who want wives but can't find one
Women are all on social media with multiple accounts
A successful marriage is like winning the lottery these days
The churches are being undermined and attacked by government

A government that labels Christians mentally ill
and medicates them till they are complacent
Obey and you're free
Forced to lie by the liars
It's what they're doing to the saints
Rubbing dirt in the eyes of God's children
I am against the world and the system
I am perpetually prepared for martyrdom
My heart's treasures are in heaven not on earth
They hated the the old prophets they hate me too

I do believe the world is friendly
and people like me
I try to be kind
One person reflects another
emotions are contagious

It's when I want to be alone
I get lonely
but I don't want to be around people
I get sick
Mental and paranoid

I just sit in a corner
and wipe my dry eyes
forgetting I don't know how to cry
And scratch my head
thinking, why?

Why am I so broken
I'll take to the grave a broken heart
nothing can surprise me anymore
I've spent too much time thinking
Learned too much

With knowledge comes sorrow
I know too much to be happy
It's just a fruitless road to the end
A death march, a lesson on vanity
Around the bend is the death

Nothing can satisfy me
No one can tell me what I don't already know
The things I've trusted in have failed me
Knowledge is not wisdom
Wisdom is to avoid too much knowledge

If only I could rely on others
to raise me up
and some people do
but many do not
I have fallen flat

I don't know what to do
Still the sight of you
makes me feel better
And the thought of you
We're in this together

I try so hard
to control my mind
It goes where it pleases
thinks whatever it wants
It usually goes back
to traumatizing events
I have to refute them
and get back on my feet

No one cares
until you're dead
before that happens
you're all alone
So many things
we leave unsaid
lest we eat our words
to the bone
one complaint
To tell the truth
without restraint
is to say goodbye
to comfort and bread
Better lose those
than water and air
I'm gasping for truth
that's how I fare

Do not be fooled
The highlights I show
are not who I am
I know nothing at all

They fell from the sky
and crowned for a while
my head with a smile
the blessings rained down

I laboured for them not
Do not think me wise
I dug in the ground
by chance found a prize

Sometimes you score
and sometimes you miss
The tables will turn
to remind me of this

That I am but a worm
Naked or dressed
blessed or degraded
I am but a worm