We form a circle and stare at each other
Blaming the other who's on the outside
It's easy to raise someone up then
Just like it is to tear them down

Sometimes in bed I wonder
Are moments equal just like people
And why I keep thinking the same thing
A moment and everything changes

We stumble hard and then there's no turning back
We fall through cracks left by moral decay
And even if we make it to the top of the pile
We are not satisfied with it

How I wish we could live together
United as one, on the same page
No more fighting but on the same side
But that is a dream of a different place

I struggle to explain what I'm witnessing
What difference does it make, when you don't have a voice
It would be nice to talk to a human being
The lonely life I live, is only partially by choice

I can't let go of this feeling I have
It's one I've had since I was a child
Of the need to brace for constant attacks
Like being surrounded by scorpions and snakes in the wild

I come from a narcissistic family and it shows
I bear all the classic symptoms and traits
Evading reality is all I know
A lonely life is all that waits

My heart jumps at sudden noises
From a leaf rustling in the wind when I'm walking
To new messages, to new voices
It's always about me they're talking

Still I hope that in the end
All those people who betrayed me
Will change and be my friends
And we'll live as a family

Like with a brush
You painted a canvas
Intricately and exquisitely
To the voice of your will
And thus was I
I danced and was thrilled
Bending my soul
To the shape of your whim
Yet now I cry
For you put me aside

I will be loud
I won't  be hushed
To win you back
I will do much
From the heights
To the depths
I'll paint the world
With how I felt
I'll touch the hearts
And they will melt
Perhaps you'll remember me then

How long must it be
Realistically
Before you appear
And set me free
For I'm in hell
Now where I dwell
A shell of what I used to be
Under this spell
A brokenhearted fool
Without you

I needed care
And you refused
Said it's not something
I can choose
Said it's only for
an emergency
When I didn't want help
you forced me

Now I have nothing
no one to share
the passing days
only psychiatrist's care
a handful of meds
And then I sway
away from dreams
the only way

I pick up a controller and play
Every single day
Till I can't feel my head
Till my eyes turn red
I get ******
Then I get owned
The same old games
Of renown fame
just like so many others
I forget my name
Through these cords
I live a fantasy
Without any consequences
or rewards
It made me happy
when I was a kid
who had an imagination
but deep down inside I wanted to get rid of it
A life I could have had
like mom and dad
Now the cobwebs are forming
And the world is turning
And my passion isn't there
And I'm starting to care

Masters of reality
Adding spark to the bland
You give them your money
They stimulate your pineal gland
They live out your fantasy
They did something grand
Live like a celebrity
Fame, status, and...?
Now you feel like a nobody
Time's slipping through your hand
Yet when the clock turns a degree
You will understand
That time comes like a sea
Sweeping the land
To shift honour and dignity
Destroying foundations of sand

I saw the traps
Yet went right in
She hunted me down
Chewed me up
And spat me out

She was there when I went down
She was there when I was made a clown
She turned her back as I drowned
I begged and cried, don't let me die
She just sighed and said goodbye

I am the darkness she locked me in
I am possessed by what has been
Disturbed by what I continually see
I refuse to let go and break free
Yet there's still fight left in me

I will not rest
I will not cease
I'll devise a plan
She'll come crawling back
On hands and knees

Then I'll beat her till she's sore
I will make her beg for more
Ensure the pain sinks to her core
And when she knows she's done for
I will strike a blade through the *****