I try to be open
My words a stream
My love of the Lord
Is my life's theme
My heart on my sleeve
My pearls before swine
My people never gave
Patience and time
To be saved
To be redeemed
That's not the point
Of my ministry

My people are dogs
I'm a sheep amongst wolves
They point and laugh
And call me a fool
For they are cruel
They want to eat me alive
The way they drool
No hand over mouth
I get stares that are cold
I suffer grievous harm
To the point where I fold
Yet I do as I'm told
I ignore so much
Love shouldn't be sold
I reject no one
In truth I am bold

I had a dream
I remember these words
You bear the cross of Noah
Is what I heard
When I go out in the world
When I preach the word
I get hurt
I argue my case
And get thrown in the dirt
They spit in my face
Such is the world
Look what they chase
Before they get hurled
To a terrible place
And be disgraced
When the scroll gets unfurled
I don't want that to happen
To this simple race
The key to forgiveness
Is to be happy
But in this place
It's an impossibility for me
So I wait patiently
For my hopes to be real
In the end I will reap
The fruits of my zeal

In my youth I have followed
A heart of darkness
Over the edge
And into the water

In my youth I have rebelled
And followed my instinct
Into a grave
Of my own doing

Let me forget my youth
And feel something new
Don't want to relive again
A past full of pain

Even now I have no future
Can't make plans
Can't do anything alone
For I was brought up a slave

There's no use in remembering
If I went back
I could change nothing
Wish I could forgive

Yet even the darkest cloud
Can end with the rainbow
I'm hoping for something good
To come my way

Love is accepting
That's not what I gave
It wasn't love
But a harsh lesson from above
A desire to save
That put our ties in a grave
We succumbed to the hail
This love doomed to fail
My love has grown cold
And due to betrayal
Where once I was bold
I'm now just a baby
Or so I've been told
It put out my sun
I search for red flags
And see evil in everyone
Like they're hiding a gun
I
Trust
No
One

Sometimes it rains when I cry
I know how the dying feel
Yet miracles happen before my eyes

No one understands
For who can put into words
A being which exists in and of itself

The mind searches the unthinkable
The unspeakable
And then we forget

Like dreams
Like memories from your unique angle
So vital, so personal

Making mistakes for the sake of honesty
Shouldn't cost me my life
Though to some it's social suicide

I see little messages that poke out sometimes
Everywhere I go, everything is trying to tell me something
Yet to react is considered mental illness

Where is the future
Don't trust it
I'm good with what happened
What good is it for

Where is the past
It's tangled by emotions
I see it again and again
At different angles

Can't sleep
I see the past
I live it once more
In my dreams

Can't sleep
The future is frightening
I see it once more
In my dreams

Can't trust the past
Can't trust the future
Only the present
I feel incomplete

Look at the power
Feed it once more
The sadness and sorrow
Like a black hole

I find myself grumbling
and gnashing my teeth
Another humbling
betrayal again
I saw myself leaning
trying to solve another's pain
Saw things too deep
and missed the meaning
What do I need
these memories for
I must take heed
and strengthen my core
Never to forget
these mistakes sore
Lest I forget
And repeat them once more

I was never good with women
When they choose me, it freaks me out
Why me? I'm disgusting

So I kissed the one at arms reach
While the one farther away cried
And I realized the error

That I love the one far away
As I tried to warm up to her
She cried even harder

The one I kissed went away
I realized I lost them both
I was never good with women