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SleepEasy Dec 2022
I find the mind difficult to control. Looking forward, facing the right way is essential. Thunderous flashbacks mixed with imagination that fight one another spiral into a force so loud it could produce a mushroom cloud. But only to your ear. The friction of an inner fight is enough to set my mind alight, usually at night when I'm trying to sleep. It hurts deep. If negative energy creeps in, I go out. I get up or toss and turn; it really hurts the way they hurt me, the ax forgets but not the tree. I forgive, without a doubt because I want to forget. I have no regrets, I'm just in a dark place and the only thing that will suffice is a really nice slice of paradise with Christ, but the inner war with vice cannot be won unless you stop being nice and purge these demons from your life.
SleepEasy Dec 2022
You thought you would get a laugh, watching me squirm;
stepping on me, crushing me like a grape for your cup.
I was to be your trophy, on the wall of those you *******;
you'd look back and say a-ha! Look what we made you do

It's true that a dark cloud has enveloped me;
depression weighs heavy on one who can see nothing but darkness
Anxiety keeps me from the connections I need
To conquer addiction I must face my demons

I toss and turn in bed, and wish I was dead;
The Lord allows this, yet gives me bread.
He put to flight me enemies, they exist only in my head;
he took my sword, and fought for me instead.

The pain that I feel, is centred on me;
the shame that I feel, is not what others see
I cannot describe the way that I feel
A faith in that which is not yet, but some day will be real
SleepEasy Dec 2022
The fire that would keep me warm has burned me
The people I wanted in my life have betrayed me
I depend on water that would drown me
I put my trust in someone that would strangle me
The walls I put up no longer protect me
They forced me into the light before I was ready
They bit off my finger when I reached out my hand
Put me into the ground, without trying to understand
We live in a world where anything goes
There's nothing I can do to help, too many blows
Yet throughout it all God knows
I will wait on him to make things right
And chase the wicked out of sight
SleepEasy Dec 2022
I never chased the things I lacked
Hoped they would just come around
People ask what's with the frown
Some things gone do not come back
It's not what I lack that has me down
It's that I didn't cherish the things I had
In the well of thoughts I drowned
Now I'm like a fish going round and round
Or an angry bitter hound
Forever stuck to a pole in the ground
The ball and chain, to which I'm bound
If I break free, I will be glad
With a mind that is clear and sound
To face the good, endure the bad
Addiction
SleepEasy Nov 2022
I never gave my future any thought
Someone else decided it for me, see
Now I'm free
Yet I find a wall where the sky should be

I never gave my future any thought
I just focused on my breath
And lived for the present
Before came what's inevitable

Now that I think about my future
I brace myself for the unknown
Yet not all is within my power
Some things just happen on their own

I want my roots to dig deep
I want my hands to reach out
Without relying on force
I can't do it alone
SleepEasy Nov 2022
No worth
To earth
Low birth
No use
Short fuse
No hope
Just dope
Unsure
Impure
Uncured

I learn
God's word
Now I'm
Assured
When I'm through
Hands of love
Will take me
Away from earth

And I
Am ready
To take
The voyage
New world
New birth
To heaven
Where someone
Is waiting
SleepEasy Nov 2022
The way it's been
Is not the way it's ending
You say I cannot win
Because you see me struggling
My skin is thin
Each insult leaves me crying
I let you in
And now Im slowly dying

Forever it will not be
One day I will be happy
You trampled me
But you could not defeat
My conscience says to me
Get back up on your feet
No need to lie or cheat
I will reclaim my seat
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