I try to understand
I try to wrap my head around
What happened when I fell face down
Into the ground.
You're supposed to trust in something
Don't wanna lose more sleep
If only I could trust in something
But my scars are fresh and deep
I tried to trust in something
I am but a sheep
I brought all the trust I could bring
And got ****** over an edge so steep.
Yet as much as I try, as much as I creep around,
I still can't understand why my face hit the ground.

I found myself in an unfamiliar place
I was fiending for love, then I saw her face
She was pretty and fair, with blonde hair
Pretty to the sight, she was wearing white that day.

I saw another strange thing:
A human with armour, flying without wings.
I tried to chase after him  into the sky,
But I could not keep up, and before I could sigh
He transformed me into a statue, and I fell from up high.

I then saw the two anomalies conversing with each other;
The man came to me and said brother,
This girl wants a *******, what do you say?
I said, while there is still time, let sin have its day.

He said, do you want to lose your soul?
Do you want to go down to the hole?
As we were speaking, a third person appeared;
The man gave his attention to him,
And they neared to converse.
They spoke as if in verse, then one said to the other, enough;
They turned away from me and flew off.

So I went to the woman, and we found a bed;
As I was about to go into her, she turned red.
Her hair fell off, she grew horns and a tail;
At the sight of her I grew dizzy and pale.
i shrieked and my knees grew weak,
And I could smell her - she started to reek.

Then I woke up, and started to think
About the folly of lust, and what it brings;
The sin of fornication is one we should avoid,
It’s something I’m learning with my time in the void.

You gave me signs,
But my heart was busy tasting spirits and wines.
You gave me warning after warning,
But I was looking elsewhere each morning.
Then you took her from me,
Yet still I didn’t see
My anger, my apathy, the hypocrisy.
You’ve taken my wife
You took my other half
You’ll take my life
It’s all I have.
Take my soul,
Slaughter me like a calf,
And swallow me whole.
I tried my best,
Yet failed the test.
Purify my heart,
And grant me some rest.
For it will take time
To heal this injured heart of mine.

Don’t ask what to buy to brighten a room
Just change your mindset to lighten the gloom.
It’s a choice to trust and lust
After things that will turn to dust.

An object fought for will be forsaken,
A thing sought after will be taken away.
Look how it goes to waste,
Losing its smell, losing its taste.

Search your soul;
Have you noticed those pinned to the floor?
The things they bought have come to life,
Cutting and slashing their hope like a knife.

Walls can shrink,
And ghosts dwell in places you wouldn’t think.
Remember those ghosts, which things couldn't save;
For what they loved most, has become their grave.

Sick outside and in
I have red bumps on my skin
Off to loony bin

As the great light shines on,
I see my path, and glorify the sun.
And as I go about my own way,
I look up, and praise the day.
When its my turn to die,
I’ll give thanks for the sky.

As the great light shines on,
I can dance and laugh and have fun.
For a moment I forget my hearts decay,
And the fact that I can’t stay.
For there will come a time when I say goodbye,
Yet I’ll always be thankful for the sky.

Reflecting light, my body’s beaming
Too bad I talk with little meaning.
My testimony’s hard to bear
Say the truth I do not dare.
For inside my rotten core
Guilt and shame, forevermore.
I humble myself, get eaten up,
I pride myself, get beaten down.
I cannot smile, cannot frown,
Cannot swim, cannot drown.
Cannot live, cannot die
When I talk, I always sigh.
Luckily this world is temporary
I don’t belong, that’s plain to see
How I long to go home...