In my younger years I was in darkness
yet trying to hide from it. I kept my hair short and my body *****.
I dressed like a boy and tried my best to be the smelliest kid.
At night in my room before bed
I would sit and look at those parts of my body.
Those parts I wished I didn’t have.
I would then take my tiny little blade out of my tiny little tin
And I would cut.
I would cut tiny little patches of tiny little cuts
All over those parts of my body
If it's ****** and gross and I’m ***** and ****
Then why does he return every night
This one is hard to share but it struck me hard today that it needs to be done.
You look at my chest
You don’t hear me
You think of me naked
You are not listening
You notice the softness of my skin
You are not paying attention
My mouth is still moving
But You are only watching my lips
You are not hearing the words
A day in my life is being ignored
At Least my mind that is
I am more than my body
I have more to offer
Someday, I hope the World will see
When they look at us they see
The hair but not the brain underneath
The Breast but not the heart within
The plump of our legs but not our strength
We are more
We are people
We are WOMEN
The pain inside it grows
I cut real deep to let it go
The change brings peace
The red the release
The next day just more of the same.
In the beginning, I was me
I had opinions and I made decisions
I was a person
I married him and instantly
Became less not more
Not even a person
I learned to not speak out of turn
I made no decisions
I lost all my opinions
My friends and family disappeared
Still there but out of my reach
I was no longer theirs just his
All the things I once loved
Now had no place in my mind
This mind was controlled
He controlled my appearance
He controlled my words
He controlled my actions
He controlled my very thoughts
In the end, I was not a person
I was what he wanted me to be
The me I once knew was gone
He gave me flowers today
The red of the petals matched
The blood dripping from my broken nose
I put them in another vase
Next to the flowers that have aged
To a purple like the bruise around my eye
He always says sorry
And he always brings me flowers
He must really love me...
Innocent people seeking help
Ripped apart and thrown in cages
Ignored and forgotten
But I don’t forget.
I remember from history
The atrocities of the holocaust
If we don’t remember our history
Then we are bound to repeat it
We tell ourselves that he was a monster
He said they were not human he said that they were animals
Now here we are
7 decades later
Our President says
They are not humans they are animals
And here we are, congratulations
We are the monsters now.
If today were yesterday
Then tomorrow would never come
I would never have to say goodbye
You would still be here
And we would still be together.
I will stay in yesterday
So I can see your beautiful face forever.