Love;

It may not be there-

Tomorrow
Tonight
A few monents from now.

Seize it.
Seize love.

Carpe Amor.

You are a rose.

... you are a rose

    unlike Axl.

Your thorns,

   they only stimulate
every man that breathes in
your unique bouquet.

As I insert myself
into your petals
of velvety paradise
I realize that;

you are the color
rose that has
always escaped me
but... ..

no more!

the city streets, so wet,
they shimmer like glass.
under every streetlight,
an image of you,
a moist blade of grass.

When all the hair was long and big.
The girls and the boys.
When Aqua net filled the air night and day and boom boxes were carried around to crank our favorite tunes.

When Europe introduced the Final Countdown.
A mantra for many a relationship.

When Tommy Tutone had everyone,
everyone dialing 867-5309.
And still dialing 867-5309 when they hear the song again.

When Loverboy had everyone "Working for the weekend."

When Rick Springfield had us all talking about "Jessie's girl" but also reminded us to never "Talk to strangers".

A time when Led Zeppelin had us "Dazed and confused" while on a "Stairway to heaven".

When Guns'n'Roses "Welcomed everyone to the jungle" like it was a "Paradise city".

A time when Twisted Sister asked, "What do you wanna do with your life" ? And we all said - "I wanna rock" !

Remember the time when "Mommy was just jealous of the Beastie boys".

Or-

When Van Halen "Erupted" because they were "Hot for teacher" and had us all "Dancing in the streets".

A time when Devo wanted you to "Whip it" good.

When Thomas Dolby "Blinded all with science".

A time when Michael Jackson wanted you to "Beat it" after watching "Thriller" with "Billie Jean".

When Billy Idol had a "White wedding" while he "Rebel yelled" at someone that had "Eyes without a face".

When Great White wanted you to "Save all your love" after they "Rock'ed me".

A time when Golden earring wanted help from "Stepping into the twilight zone".

When Ozzy Osbourne had us on a "Crazy train" with "Mr Crowley" while we were going "Over the Mountain" and "Barking at the moon".

When the Scorpions "Rocked you like a hurricane" and were "Still loving you" after.

When I needed Cinderella to "Save me" and "Shake me" because you "Don't know what ya got till it's gone".

A time when Journey allowed you to have it "Any way you want it" - "Faithfully" when you went your "Seperate ways"

Or-

When Whitesnake asked you, "Is this love" and then  "Took you down slow n easy" in the "Still of the night".

Or when Quiet Riot wanted you to "Bang your head" and to "*** on and feel the noise".

A time when the Talking heads were "Burning down the house".

Ratt was "Laying it down"
after going "Round and round" and they always brought you "Back for more"!

When the Dire Staits wanted "Money for nothing and their chicks for free".

A time when Chris de Burgh " Did not want you to pay the Ferryman".

When Def Leppard was taking a "Photograph" while "Rocking for the ages" and they weren't "Foolin" around.

A time when Bon Jovi wanted you "Dead or alive" even after "Giving love a bad name" because you were a "Runaway" and you both "Lived on prayer" as you were lain down on "A bed of roses".

Or-

When Pat Benetar wanted you to "Hit her with your best shot" while saying "You better run".

A time when Tears for Fears wanted everyone to "Shout" about "Everybody wanting to rule the world."

When Motley Crue thought that she had the "Looks that ****" but were "Too young to fall in love".

When Robert Palmer was "Addicted to love" .

When Prince wanted to "Let's go crazy" and party like it was "1999" in the "Purple rain" but only "When the doves cry"

A time when David Bowie wanted you to put on your red shoes to "Lets dance" and talk about "Modern love".

I remember when Phil Collins only wanted "One more night" because something was "In the air tonight" and "Against all odds" he made it happen.

When George Michael spoke of a "Careless Whisper" and Spandau Ballet wanted to know if it was "True".

Or-

When Hall and Oates was so "Out of touch" that they couldn't "Go for that" especially around "Private eyes".

A time when Duran Duran's "Reflex" was to "Save a prayer" and remain "Hungry like the wolf".

Was a time when Lisa Lisa "Wondered if she could take you home" ?

When Shannon wanted you to "Give her tonight".

A time when Madonna was "Into the groove" when she was "Like a ******".

When we as an era quite possibly had the best music ever, which reminds me of a big hit back then by Aha- "Take on me".

A time I wish like Eddie Money once sang about., "I wanna go back" to.
"Two tickets to Paradise please".

days and nights
of waiting

waiting for my
line to
flatten out

waiting for the
world to
stop spinning

longing for peace
of mind

longing for my
death free of
my own hands

longing for my restless soul to
finally rest

longing to get away from a world of
hatred and
******

please... ..

PLEASE!

do
not
resuscitate!

the seagulls wailed
as they skimmed across the angry river's surface

on the horizon,

green islands
and a puffy line of
cumulonimbus
clouds hovering above them

the brilliant sunshine reflected off of the river's surface resembling an abundance of diamonds

i can hear the waves
'swooshing'
up against the pier
and the side of my docked yacht

a group of young boys decide to grab a swim in the boat launch area

i grab a bottle of  deep eddy lemon
and fill my glass with ice and straight deep eddy and lemon

just living out another day here on the niagara river mere moments... ..

from the mighty Niagara Falls

Superficial

      is

        artificial

            and never

ever

              beneficial

A pine tarred bat,  
that greets a frayed and soiled baseball.
Grass stained shortstop,
he leaps to pilfer your grin.
Anticipation from a crowd,
chants of lets go home team,
that echo through the sultry summer eve.
Bottom of the ninth, two outs and one run down,
it's now up to you to battle...........
to win.

So;

phew... ..

after skatey eight
rounds of chemo
and radiation that
has burned me worse than any encounter with the sun ever could.....?

Thousands of dollars wasted
and debt
while making my
remaining days
on this Earth
an excruciating
24/7 theatre of
unnecessary,
expensive pain!

And after all of this?

I have "Dr." Chen with absolutely no bedside manner
'matter of factly'
tell me that... ..
"we can not do anymore to help you".

Okay;
I get it, I am dying and I can handle that,
and I knew that but... ..

Help me?!?!?!

You didn't "help me" you... ..
you
greedy,
selfish,
ignorant,
POS
devil you.

But hey;
guess what?

Sure, I will concede my death
is near.

Thanks to you and your high priced concoction of death,
my death has
only been
accelerated.

But me?

My life,
my life is only beginning once
I leave this den of iniquity and
you... ..
"Dr satan".

While you?

Ha.
Haha!

You?

You will be burning in a hell like you have never seen on this Earth.

Every day....
Every hour
Every minute
Every second
of your
'after life'.

And me?

I will be chatting it up with Jesus
and asking for your forgiveness
because well... ..

that's my
beautiful soul
and heart
looking out
for vultures
like you.

follow me,

in your
naked feet
under
the stars
to our
favorite place

follow me,

and
let's wish
upon a star
that tonight
will
never end


follow me,

and
let us
sensually
make love
under the
talcum powder
hued
full moon

follow me,

and
let us unleash
the wolf
in us,

and howl
as deeply
intertwined
lovers
at the moon

follow me,

follow me
to the place
where we
become one
and
make love,

over and
over again

i feel her emerald eyes upon me

-or are they?

is it just my hope or the wish that i wait to come true?

if it came true;

what would be my very first words,
my very first move on her?

i know that i would ask her to kindly ignore my tremblin' hands that have waited what seems a lifetime to hold her firmly in my grasp.

because;
her body fits within my firm grip perfectly,

sinfully perfectly.

our lips locked together like a safe that holds millions of dollars in rare jewels.

the contour of our bodies melting into one another
like dark chocolate onto a luscious strawberry

like the finale at a 4th of july fireworks display... ..

i finally enter her

i have met.....

i have met thousands of women and...

i have had all
colors,
all shapes
and all sizes
of women
over 52 years,
dedicate their
unilateral love
and wanting of me.

and still, still to this day i can still count on one hand how many women that i have allowed to get to
"know me"!

and trust me;
each one remembers each intimate moment with me even if they scream to the world that they don't.

they only wish that there was more moments.

unintentionally i may have hurt a few, unintentionally.

i think,
     i think that
i was
never meant
   for this earth.

born,
  i was blue
    in hue,
my parents thought
   i was going
to die.

perhaps,
     perhaps at birth,
        it was
my destiny to die
    before i
ever lived?

i guess God felt
   as if,
     this life was
in need of me,
    and what i
had to give?

i have served Him
  with the life
    that He felt
i needed to share.
  
from barely breathing
     and blue
   at birth,
Jesus knew that...

    what was in that
   baby's heart was rare.

as the man that....
    He has groomed me
      to become.

i still remain a
    tortured soul ...
  my heart always bleeding
with no chance of
    ever being numb.

there are days that...
   i privately wish
     that blue baby
would have never lived,

      just some....

just some days.

i can't save the world,
    i now know
but i
      really really
want too.

    next time that i am
       blue and
barely breathing....

   please......
    
        please let me

go.

we turned into the drive,
and gravel flew up from the tires
like sparks from a fire

so much
to be done ,
the unpacking,
the mail
and papers ...
the grass needed mowing ....

we climbed stiffly out of the car

the shut-off engine ticked as it cooled

and then we noticed the pear tree,
the limbs so heavy with fruit
they nearly touched the ground

we went out to the meadow;
our steps
made black holes in the grass;
and we each took a pear,
and ate,
and were grateful

I must say -
it's been a few years.
It's been a few years since I cared about how I looked.
I'm not sure why that is ?
I'm not sure who is to blame ?
I'm not sure if anyone IS to blame ?
I'm not sure I even care why it is -
I think that I simply wanted to write about it...heh

I will admit -
I can go 6 months or better without ...
without so much as even a trim,
never mind the process of a real haircut.
I rest my razors sometimes for 7 days...
sometimes more.
I miss that sometimes only because
I enjoy the essence of my choice of shave cream.
Don't get me wrong -
I do shower everyday....
sometimes twice.

Thing is -
when I get out of the shower...
I don't ever pamper me.
I don't look in the mirror,
don't care too really.
The reason why -
I'll tell ya...
It will only remind me that...
remind me that I am in need of a shave and haircut.

And the thing about that is -
I don't care what I look like -
Don't care what you think.
I have no one to impress.
I don't have some inner drive to impress anyone,
impress anyone with my appearance anyway.

Judge me because of it, go ahead -
The cover is just that...
just a book cover.
I'm a what's inside the book cover man.
The depth inside is infinite pages you could never read -
I'm a lifetime to finish.
The outside ......
the cover is superficial and is most often misleading.
Not to mention -
a very quick and boring ...
"had it 100 times before" read.

So -
Never judge a book by its cover...
no matter how long the hair -
no matter how unshaven.
They just don't care how they look.
Perhaps..?...?..?More importantly -
they don't care how you look either

Late fall when leaves have left their summer homes just to lay helpless on the cold wet earth.

Some lay together in bunches in corners, while others have a space all of their own.

Some drift along a rippled water's surface being pushed far away by autumn's northeasterly winds.

Their magnificent colors are all but ignored now.

The swooshing- rattling-crackling sounds as a gentle breeze blew through their once summer home is now a distant memory.

A memory not for the leaf you understand, but for the viewer that has valued the leaf's existence.

Appreciated its every movement and sound,
sang its praise for shade against the harsh summer sun.

Even its very last movement, falling to the earth helplessly, gracefully,
only now to be walked upon by those that never noticed them in the first place.

These leaves, they share no animosity nor disappointment in those that never look upon them.

They only feel sorry for them.

But, next season after the cold winter's night has passed,
the leaves will be back once again in their full vibrant glory, living on their summer homes,
providing camouflage for a bird's nest buried deep inside,
providing shade and shelter even to those that choose to ignore all of which they are.

Only to "Fall" and "leave" us once more,
just to do it all over again and to hopefully acquire a new fan or two.