Ignoring little scenarios
That will one day explode
Into epic sagas

Calm in my cage
They can't get me
Time will heal all wounds
I'm hopefully sure

Break my own secret rules
Ignore consequence
At this moment in time
It made sense

I love you, but
*******.

Pieces of my puzzle
I cut to size
So they fit
To suit my mind

Create chances
Jump fences
Alter instructions
Open book inductions

Ignore epic sagas
That will one day explode
Into little scenarios

The silence
Is unerring.

TV on
Just for the noise.

Check my phone
To see if I missed anything.

I can hear myself
Blink.

Hours crawl by
Hours smell the roses
Grind into a day of lethargy
To create a null memory.

Another day
That is all.

Soak in the serenity
Of nothing at all.

The silence
Is exhilarating.

I will be
The man you could not be
I will show love
Where you could not,
I will be there
For their recitals and events
It does not matter
If they couldn't see me.

I will be
The server of their meals
The cleaner of their dishes
The chauffeur of their adventures,
I will be
The healer of their wounds
Their teacher amongst their chaos
The silence in all the noise.

I will be
The father I never had
The pride when they introduce Dad
The strength when they are sad
I will be
A male role model
The angel on your shoulder
The smart **** remark to your stupid questions.

Just you wait kiddo
As you get older
I will always be here
To help you get stronger,
Just so you know
Your Mum taught me everything
Without her support and dedication
Our relationship would be nothing.

So, when you look to me
Know, that I look to her
As she is the key
To our comfortable open door.

Know that I love you
I'd sley any dragon for you
Regardless of what you put me through
I'd pay any price to see you happy.

Cos I'm your Dad
Your old man, the old boy
And I will break every bone in my body
For your pursuit of happiness.

I don't want to go to work
I just want to sleep
I don't care what needs to be done
I detest responsibility

Bring me food
In my bed
Let me watch tv
All day

Let me stink
Let me snack
All day long
On my back

Brush the crumbs
From my chin
The phone keeps ringing
But I'm not listening

Just one day
Is all I require
To regather my motivation
Tomorrow I'll try again

Off the grid
In my bed
Is all I need
Just leave me be.

Caught in a web
Woven by me.

She loves me
I dont.

She loves me
I do.

Silly backwards fish.

Collect pros and cons
It will hurt either way
Cant quite remember
A single word said.

Think with heart
Think with head
These dreams
Engulf all.

It doesn't matter
This life
Is predestined
As is yours.

This web will age
Its adherence will slack
Freedom will be found
If only temporary.

Sit.
Sit with me.
I do not want to talk.

Just, sit.

Everything's ******,
Everyone sux.

I too am fluent,
In silence.

See you tomorrow,
In reality or memory,
It doesn't really matter,

I'll still be here.

What has he done?
Fell out of love with your Mum
Met another one
Remarried.

You listened to her woes
She said more than she should've
You took her angst
You made it your own.

So, you left him
While your brothers did not
You left him
To rot.

He tried
To give you the space he thought you wanted
But, as time passed
You made a decision not to love him.

So now, it is awkward
Tears well when we say goodbye
Because we never said
What was on our mind.

Will it ever change?
Or is this how it is?
Forever ever?
I cannot live like this.

I miss you,
I hope you miss me too.

The hardest thing I ever did
Was tell your mum,

I don't love her anymore.

I'm so sorry
That it has turned out this way
I desperately hope
It won't be forever ever.

Embarrassed and poor
Asleep on the floor
Greed and demons
Just wanting more,
An ancient enemy
Again becomes friend
Taking the money
I don't want to spend,
Clouded by past
Time removes truth
As no one can remember
What I had to lose,
Well, I lost it all
As I couldn't fight
As I am so weak
And they are a Titan,
It started so pure
Just a button to touch
And the colourful songs
We danced and such,
But the bets went up
And the ante increased
No such luck
To the poor and deceased.
The tiny victories
Kept us fed
Surely our luck
Would outweigh the odds,
As we pressed on
So close to the win
The demons around me
Become within,
Swallowed by guilt
Self blame and self hate
This life I once loved
Became sedate.

Ready to go.

Bags packed,
The time is nigh,
Leave the phone
On charge, history deleted.

Wallet in the top drawer,
No note.

No rhyme or reason,
No destination,
My life expectancy
Is one.

Relieve the pressure,
On an amber sand dune,
Spill the angst,
Amber turns crimson.

Wait and reflect,
Fatigues embrace
Takes its icy hold,
Embed the husk, dead sand angel.

Pass on my condolences
To the family.

Ready to go.

The battle within
Made up stories
It will tear us apart
As it tears me apart
I am not myself
I cannot contain this angst
I must change
Or die in the remains
She doesn't understand
I can't explain
All just silly riddles
Inside my silly brain
I'll just keep it to myself
Just hold it deep
Just let her sleep
As the demons creep

Keep it to yourself
As no one cares.

Collect memories
Only to forget
Soon after

Burn myself
Just to feel
Something

Endure love
Inhale loss
From afar

Eyes ajar.

Run circles
In a straight line
Fall and climb

Cry on the inside
Outside sigh
Hurry up and die

Nothing in life
Has gone to plan
Thus far

Eyes ajar.

Lick wounds
Gaping and infested
Failures tested

This old boy
Once a young lad
Bitter and sad

Broken from experience
Whoever you were
Whoever you are

Eyes a jar.

I used to be ten
I had my first kiss then
Then I blinked
And I was forty.

I remembered her
But we drifted away
She remembered me
From so far away.

We lived our own lives
Trauma, pain and angst
Breaking and rebuilding
Finding our way.

We fell in love with others
We started our own families
But somewhere, out there
She still breathed and thought of me.

As fate would have it
I kissed her again
Sometime in July.

As destiny would have it
I loved her again
Sometime in August.

As my choices would have it
A decision is made
In my hearts mind
I'm hers, she's mine.

The fridges in a line, their backs against the wall, test tags in date... probably.
They shudder in sync, making their contents jiggle just a bit.

Microwaves with coffee stains, you don't cook tuna in the crib room.

Baby packets of coffee and sugar, paddle pop sticks for a stirrer.

Food and sweat, cooked and fresh. The packs shuffle in, looking for phone charging points.

The scaffies play music, louder than they should, but the music is usually good... except when it's not.

Truckies boisterous, forked tongue, consume vendo pies, dead horse and a Coke on the side.

The pretty sentries, with eyelashes bolted on, stop to take selfies and add to their online stories.

Bosses stroll in, obligatory shoulder pats and one liners, confident and all knowing.

Cranies slow, but they know where to go, pre-packed, brown bag smoko.

Cheeky games of poker, money sorted later, boredom and sleepers, old school and keepers, green hats and newbies, fuckwits and legends... all gather, to the crib room, as if on queue.

For a feed, a graze, a nibble, a chew...

Cos a 12 hour shift is a fukn hard slog.

We grind the day, we achieve and fail,
Every day the same ****, but it's not,
Mornin old mate, lets go **** **** up
We'll catch up again during smoko.

He plays his games
On playstation and phone
In the morning he is sober
But not in the afternoon

The illusion of him
Is so engrained
It must be love
I must be insane

Tonight, he walked away
With nothing to say
He just sent me a text
To advise

I thought he was strong
Able, confident and coherent
But, he is as broken as the last man
And I have only just seen it

All my eggs are in this basket
I am too old to start again
He loves me, and treats me like no other
We are still figuring out this new life.

Where am I? What is this place?
All that I know with a new found face
A new freedom and opportunity
Why don't you play games on your phone?

These kids, strange and relative
I cannot be their mentor
I am too far gone
I am not their father

Many moving parts
Many broken hearts
This maybe the straw
That breaks the camels back

Doubt it.

Defensive mechanism
Still engaged
Perhaps it's just me
But, a soft escape without a word

Seems to work.

When ever you're ready
Im ready.

We'll figure it out
We'll make it work.

This tangled web
Has become knotted
Uncomfortable and confusing
But, it is ours.

I've got something
To tell you
You may embrace
You may repel.

I can't contain
This emotion within
I will decide that tact
Is not required.

Open book
**** the consequences
As you will only feel them
If you choose to.

I'm gonna marry her
You're gonna have a step Mum
There is this new family
That is keen to meet you.

You don't have to choose
You can have both
And why wouldn't you decide
Both sides?

When ever you're ready
I'm ready.

This spare room
Is yours.

Lately
I've had a lot going on
In my head

Self created self hatred
Self doubt mystery complications
Being an absolute fool
While she's been on nightshift

Left to my own devices
Self destruction ensues
Create scenarios in my stupid head
Unworthy, idiotic male
Everything to date has been a fail
So why not this, why not now?
Grow up boy.

Flick and click my fingers
Uneasy in my skin
For reasons silly and immature
Stories I create and twist and spin.

Wake up.

Shut down your ego
Slow your train of thought
Calm and moderate your habits
They are the devils playthings.

You're not thinking straight.

Idiot.

Curl up in a cold room
But, you have control
Sleep in a shiver ball
Fool.

If you had the time
I could explain
But, I'd get sidetracked
And I wouldn't get my point across.

What I want to say
What I think
What I feel
And what I say
Is a poor ratio.

I can't say I won't be this way in the future
As I am a mere male
But... I will try.

Without this understanding woman
Her beautiful particularities
And knowing full well
She married an idiot

I would be a terrible mess
Of paranoia and stress
Unable to apologise
Stupid righteous ego.

She was right
I was mistaken
Without any particular scenario
As it was all a dream.

Sorry,
Not sorry.

Stained in rust
Amber and oranges
Liquor and green smoke
Tar and feathers and shame  .

I don't want to know your name
Before I knew you
Keep your secrets
They will only deter me  .

This hapless adventure
Of renewal and rebirth
May be killing me
Unbeknownst to me  .

These rose shaded gogs
May be withholding
Important information
That I have been avoiding  .

Get married and find out.

**** your life from a new angle.

I apologise
For the things I may say
For the lack of ***** I have
On the average day
I love you.

For the ******* I give
We're just trying to live
For the animosity you sieve
I can be an *******
But, I love you.

For the tension I bring
For that uncomfortable feeling
For that squirmish *******
I dont mean it

I will come back around
And smother you with rose petals
That I stole or I "found"
Just to to show you
I adore you

I will prove that you're wrong
Do a dance, sing a song
Gloat and be a *****
For no reason

Then I'll subside and regret
Letting my trigger finger sweat
When I see the angst
That I've caused you

I apologise in advance
For ripping off your pants
And dancing around
Like the fool I am

Just know it's not me
Just an intoxicated fool
Wavering my ego
Like a caveman

I'm a ****
I'm a tool

But, **** me,  I love you
And I'll show you I do,

Just bare with me.

I promise my love
Will never grow rust
This is stainless
Gimme ten years, and I'll show you.

It is 5am
My alarm, as always chimes
The theme from Lion King
I reach over and down and swipe.

Reach over and kiss your brow
You are always awake
You advise that I have a good day
And from that moment, I do.

You tell me you love me
As I close the door ajar
Pack smoko and knock off sweetener
Be careful with the creaky screen door.

I go to work
I do my thing
I text and snap you
And you do the same.

Work does not matter
But, the money does
It helps fuel our future
So we can focus on us.

These family ties
These oddities and trials
Are a drop in the ocean
Of this beautiful life.

These pressures and perceived aches
Are beneath you
You're better than this
You just have to believe it.

My work day ends
But work is still to be done
Sort dinner, improvise
Give kisses and gaze into your sweet pixie eyes.

You get home later
I am a few beers deep
As per usual
You're used to it.

All the ****
But it's all good
Goodnight my love
I'll see you in the morn.

All is quiet for now
But in the distance I can see
A threatening storm
Beginning to form.

On the horizon
It fuels its rage
Flexing its strength
Setting the stage.

With might and fury
It will unleash its anger
Engulfing all in its path
And just getting stronger.

I will stand
As it passes
Beer raised high
In curious laughter.

As the dust settles
And the storm subsides
I will be standing
Right by her side.

I will give her a peck
And help out with dinner
As this storm has nothing
On the love I have for her.

She is my rock
And I am hers
And we will withstand
Any force that confronts us.

Bitter little feelings
Tighten my skin and muscle
Scrunch my face
In momentary feels.

This angst will pass
It always does
It always has
Time to feed the angels.

Eat
Sleep
Dream
Repeat

See you later
When you text
Can't wait
Till the next time comes next.

We'll talk
Once these bitter little feelings
Lose their momentum
Best friend.

Alone we sit, in stillness
On my shoulders you rest your weight
My sweet sorrow, my bitter tears
Endure this present state.

We talk of pasts and futures
Of nows and thens and ifs
Me mumble and stammer
But understand every word.

You cure my ills with confidence
Caress my soul with your aches
I commit to now and every day forward
Until the bow it breaks.

As days surpass into eves
I yearn for your warmth, your glow
As chaos decides which path to ****
Hold hands tight, my sweet sorrow.

Tainted perspective
Mother led you astray
With her venomous games
You had no choice but to play.

I often wonder, how you are.

An unanswered phone call
No reply to text
Silence  hurts more
Than any verbal flex.

I often wonder, if you're ok.

She has what she wants
To manifest her prediction
Just so she can say
She was right.

I often wonder, who you are.

She has taken all my money
To try to break me
But, the love in my heart
Makes me the richest man alive.

I often wonder, if you're still my daughter.

I can only bide my time
In hope you will see through the lies
Which you had no choice but to believe
You'll understand why I had to leave.

I often wonder, if I'll see you again.

Breaking into bits and pieces
Parts and chunks
Flakes and mist
I am always missed

Every division
Requires description
But I am too far gone
To muster words you'll believe in

Auto pilot life
Wait until last minute
To act
To complete the puzzle

No intent
Didn't mean what I may have meant
Depending on your response
Smoke bomb! Disappear

There is only so much of me
To share
This angst so bitter and obelisk
Only time will shift

Bloodless stone
No moss every grows
As I can only stay still
When I'm gaming

I'm killing them all
With every day of absence
Which has altered to months
Which has evolved to years

The love, now coarse and abrasive
To touch, only to lose layers of skin
Which I have taken so long
To fit within

I'll apologise when I die
For becoming that guy in your life
Till I fade into flakes and mist
I am always missed.

Amongst walls
My pet hate
The screens glow warm
Up the ante.
Familiar nuance
Crippling addiction
Habitual ritual
Fool in tradies clothing.
Identity dying
Unique fades
As weekly expenditures
Folds into days.
Hide the losses
Ignore the demon
Just to feel
Its grasp over again.
Fleeting luck
Pick a corner
Where will it end?
Once every coin is spent.

I will not apologise
And this suicide
Will not pay penance
For my wrongdoings.
At my eulogy
Speak lowly of me
Tell them of the *******
I truly was.
Destroy all memory
So I can rest anonymous
The price paid
Outweighed the cost.

I miss them
That is all
I just want the opportunity
To be their father

She twists my words
Confuses my focus
Belittles my strength
And diffuses my light

She tells them things
That we have spoken of
Adult conversation
Fed to children

It is killing me.

This loneliness
Has teeth and wings and muscle
It compresses and crushes
Filters and flushes.

I hope time heals this
I assume it will
Just flatten the line with poisons divine
When they arrive, ensure you're alive.

You work at the mines mate?
You must be raking it in?!

"Awake at 5, sometimes before
Hivis and boots then out the door
No one to kiss goodbye
Just go.

Give a nod and half smile to nightshift
Sleep still in the eyes
Roll on in for prestart
A dingy container powered by a loud generator
Say g'day to the boys and the supervisor.

Get in trouble, for not being clean shaved
Apologies, forgot, all good, here's a razor
Dry shave, water lubricant
Try to complain but the money's too good.

8 more days, just push through the heat
Worn out boots and swollen feet
Paperwork galore, but wait, there's more
There's been an incident and my feet are sore.

The misso didn't text
The kids are a handful
She's 2 flights away so carry on
Just stay strong.

Head in the game, eyes on the job
We must prevent complacency
With reiterating the same thing
Over and over and over again.

We all dress the same
"King Gee" orange overalls
We all smell the same
Except for the supervisors.

Sulpher and acids and alarms and things
Risks and controls and signatures
Old mate forgot to sign on
He won't last, cos he forgot to sign on.

Eyes on task, line of fire, rah rah rah
Just get the job done
With an itchy face
And an idiot that won't shut up.

12hours of push
Crib breaks with strangers
The misso still hasn't touched base
Miss her touch and beautiful face.

Just realised, the shift is over
As the sun sets over the smelter
Pack up, *******, couple beers at the mess
Too tired to realise, she still hasn't text.

Boots and hivis left by the door
(**** my feet are sore)
Fast asleep before my head hits the bed
Awake at 5, do it again."

Yeah mate, it's not too bad...

I stand here before you all
As a friend, an associate,
A ***** relative, a co worker
An influence, a blood line
And a cool memory,
To solidify an actual fact...

I am, in fact, in love.

I didn't see it coming
Nor did she,
You didn't see it coming...
But, that is why we are here.

For love...
Not yours, mine.
Ours.

Needless to say, it is our honour
To share this pivotal moment in our lives
With such beautiful people
With such awesome haircuts.

You have all been a part of our timeline
And no one would have ever guessed
This girl, that I first kissed, when I was 10
Would meet me in the future
And be awesome enough to be my wife.

Lucky duck.

And she is...
She is fkn awesome.

So, good luck to us,
Because after all this ****,
It will be just us.

Going to work and cooking dinner,
Dishes and bills and dog **** to pick up,
Family stuff, you know what I mean,
Life **** but we just say...
We're living the fkn dream.

Those in earshot,
That made the effort,
To be here, in this moment
We thank you.

Thank you all.

For those who don't know the story...

I had a girlfriend when I was 10 years old
We held hands, as 10 years olds do
She was my first kiss
In a little SA town called Two Wells.

We wrote letters to eachother
I made her mixed tapes
She was so beautiful
But, unfortunately, she moved away.

She moved to QLD, with her family
And lived her life
And I lived mine...

She had 3 kids
And so did I
And we just, lived our lives...

30 years later,
I got a happy birthday message
From a girl I knew
When I was 10.

Back and forth, we messaged eachother
Explaining our lives and what happened
A spark soon developed
Which ignited soon after,
Into a ****** raging bonfire.

Months went by, we finally met
She flew to me, back to where it all began
And this bonfire, fukn exploded
Into a mother fukn forrest fire.

Back and forth, we flew to eachother
We counted the days between visits
We met one anothers family
Until one day, I told her I loved her.

There were no brakes on this train of love.

Sometime in this story, I dropped a knee
Devoting my heart to her
I cant remember exactly what I said
But, I'm pretty sure she said yes.

She packed up her entire life
Her kids, her memories, everything
She threw caution to the wind
All for me.

She moved from QLD
And moved her entire life to Roxby
She followed her heart
All for me.

We have made a life now
We are making our own memories
And this forrest fire...
Brings new life and new beginnings.

This girl that I first kissed
Will be the woman that I last kiss
She has saved my life
And I will be forever grateful.

Love ya darlin x

2 days of 14
Is all I get
To see my kids.

48 days of a year
They grow up so quick
I miss everything.

My daughter doesn't stay anymore
But she messages me
When she wants money.

I've always worked
Start early, finish late
Until love went to ****
I had to vacate.

So, I pay child support
To my ex, to my kids
But, I am too poor
To do anything when I see them.

The system is flawed
I am lonesome and poor
Because of my decisions
To be a work horse.

I thought, if I worked
I would get in front
But, the system is broken
Like this silly old ****.

I started again
Got married, fell in love
I adopted her kids
A daughter, and 2 sons.

I keep working, everyday
In hope, it will all work out
But I am broken and poor
And in constant self doubt.

Life is not fair
The system is ******
This is mine, and for yours...

Good luck.

She awakes at 4am
Tiptoes around the house
Just to allow the sleeping babes
To continue dreaming
Takeaway tea, crib sorted the night before
There she goes
Out the door.
Extras this swing
Perhaps 16 days all up
She grinds against the world
A woman in a mine.
Oranges on, PPE off her hip
Prestart, handover, warm tea to sip
Always smiling, even if defeated
Crib in the fridge, hopefully has time to eat.
Incidents, meetings, head up girl
The perceived pressure weighs heavy
On your sweat soaked shoulders
You've got this kid.
She gets home, shopping under arm
Straight to the kitchen
Cooking up a storm
Weary and worn, still smiling
She deals with kids issues
Alert, focused and attentive
Giving her all until she gets cold
Ready to rest her unbrushed head.

And there I am
In awe.

Goodnight my love
I will sort what you could not
Look after yourself tomorrow
Be safe, sweet dreams.

Christmas lights are tangled
This may take a while
I may need silence
I may need space

It's all too much sometimes.

To the furthest point
Deep in the cave
You'll find me
Untangling lights

She comes hunting
Venturing, cautious
Torch lit, tread carefully
I'm back there somewhere

As the light piercers the darkness
I am crounched, head down
Lights entwined and draped
Look up in fear and curiosity

I see her

She understands

She grabs a bunch of cable

And she helps with the unravelling.

The sobs can be heard
From the entrance
The beautiful pain
We share and heal together.

We'll have tinsel this year.

Red light.

Breathe broken breaths
Clench tighter than before
Blink twice, just to hold back
Nuisance tears.

Disconnect eye contact
Take the deep breath slowly
To deter detection
Of the emptiness within.

Missed calls
Unanswered texts
Notifications mount
Too much for the weak angels.

Responsibility wolves
Gnashing their jowls
Drooling their expectation
Dog food breath on the back of neck.

Tiny frame tightening
Plastic teeth clenched
Eyes, now as bitter slits
Crumpled paper expression...

Green light,

Foot down.

This smile that I fake
Every day...

The mask slips aside
I cannot hide
The silly angst
Behind.

I want the best
For everyone
But let myself die
With thumbs up.

This life
Is not mine
This home
Is alone.

Hopelessly in love
Destroying all of the above.

Dinner's ready honey
Thanks babydoll.

I've seen a strong man cry
Break down in my arms like a child
Then **** it up like all is fine
Beaten down by this cruel world.
The system is broken
And so are the men
We toil just to numb the pain
Drink and smoke to forget.
No annual leave left
To sleep in and organise life
No sick leave to watch a movie
Knock off and fall asleep.

The kids don't call
Nor do I
I miss being in their life
It kills me inside.

I'm a good liar
Showing a strong exterior
But I am breaking
It has taken some time.

Laziness and poor sleep
Turn off the car, almost weep
Take a breath, go inside
Say hello to the wife.

The pressure mounts
I feel it within
Not long now
Not long now.

Close the eyes of the heart
Let it rest
Pull the blinds of the mind
That will do for today

Allow the dream to suffocate
Push aside the real
Alone in an overcast sky
Assume the stars still shine

Bleed the stone
Betray the clone
Ignore the phone
Silent in gold

Tomorrow will arrive
Today will die
The aches will subside
If only for a while

Try again when you wake.

I saw her, for the first time
On the other side of the glass
Patiently, I sat crossed legged
To feel the first embrace

The touch of her skin
The feel of the kiss on her face
I waited there
Fireworks within

I held her close and tight
Her scent of strawberry and sweets
As she wrapped her arms around me
I felt as I was home and safe

Hometown pains and wonders
Photos of postcodes
The proudest chauffeur
Holding hands at 110

Admitting our faults
Our horrible histories
Our defects and additions
To our now naked bodies

Endless banter, factual and humour
Bouncing off of walls and eachother
Beers and ***** and pizza
We talked as if weve known eachother forever
Falling asleep naked
In the middle of the day
Eggs Benedict and pear cider
Come in, we're awesome

Hot tubs and expensive reds
Fruchocs, dark chocolate with mint
Dressed to the nines
Is where I made her mine

No TV, just music and squeezes
Sensual ******* passions
Climbed trees in the rain
Tested beds in showrooms
Spilled drinks and kicked over *** plants
Sang songs of our playlist
And her kiss
Was that of an angel I once knew

I will not defer
It is all for her
I will cherish this twin flame
Under the same star
No matter how far away we are.

I have never had a memory so pure
So I am sure
That she is mine
And I am hers

X

Typical bloke.
Flanny, wife beater, blue jeans, work boots
Rough around the edges
12 hour shifts on the daily.

Split with the missus
A while ago now
Misses the kids
Works like a machine.

Knocks off at dusk
Sits out the back
Punchin darts and sippn bevs
It's all he knows.

He doesn't eat as well as he should
Microwaved feeds and barbecues
Saves on dishes, doesn't mind fishn
Pays his child support as required.

All he knows is work
Cutla mates he doesn't often see
He gets choked up but swallows the pain
Just to get through his work day.

He doesn't ring his kids
As he doesn't know where they're at
So, he punches darts and sips bevs
Out the back.

He reeks of loneliness
He doesn't have much to say
He just asks us questions
To which we reply, vaguely.

He tries...
But he is so disconnected
So broken and out of touch
I miss who he used to be so much.

Always on his own
With the blade to his wrist
Fate tempting the twist
But always ends up clenched fist.

He built this nest
The same place he *****
Akin to his demons
Typical bloke.

Sundee
Lazy arv
Everything
In its right place

Make the time
To help future me
Do it now
Later is too late

Keep moving
Organise small futures
Tiny goals
Baby fireworks wins

Pub for dinner
Alone.

Take the time
To get dressed up
To smell delectable
Even though I'm on my own.

Be nice
Smile and listen
Retort in my own way
To incite thought and emotion.

Eat my *******
In the dining room
With families and friends
On my own, table 46.

Cheers, hoo roo.

Take the bins out
Calm the lounge fire
Prep work clothes for tomorrow
Curl up in the silence.

Lazy eve
Sundee.

Go to work
Get paid
Play sport
Get laid
Pay bills
Socialise
Alarm is set
For tomorrow.

Stay in touch
Moving forward
100 percent
Living the dream.

Full time
Annual leave
Happy Friday
*******.

It never ends
Until your end
This system we're in
You'd best hold on.

I never know what to write
Confronting the blank page
Many thoughts dance and swirl
I could write what I think, or what I feel.

It's up to me.

The freedom imprisons me
Locked up in my own wings...

Sometimes...

I just don't know what to write.

There are so many angles
So many feelings
So many thoughts
Just being an average human...

But if I write it to let it out
To inspire or perhaps incite
What right or wrong will be achieved
I'll just charge my phone goodnight.

Now
Is so different
So oblique
So new... still, after all this time .

Just realised
That I
Just realised.

Rich poor man
Still can...

Week to week
There is no weakness

Which bruises easily,
Has chalky bones

Calm chaos,
Welcome to
Door mat and exit light
Confuse, engulf, exhale.

If you lived in my mind
You'd be home by now.

Disconnected temporarily
Write off the identity
Just to forget
Just to select, another option.

Love from afar
Eyes and heart ajar
Deep breath swallowed
Hold it during the changes.

Texts and missed calls
Do not disturb
Just let a soul rest
In this duvet nest.

Evolve momentarily
Fatigue deep and clinging
Sigh a decision
Continue the mission.

Fill the void
Moving pictures and noise
Distractions are a curse
But life could be worse.

Heartbreak subsides
It has been years
Mistrust does not visit
Nor feeds pointless fears
Discomfort has gone
Homeless and cold
Bad memories grow algae
Grey hairs and mold

She holds me longer
Than I need to be held
She squeezes out the pain
And kisses away my Hell
She cuddles me perfectly
As if I was fading away
She tells me she loves me
In her actions, everyday

I do not fret about loneliness
I will never be lonely again
She holds my hand so sweetly
She is my forever best friend
I have wished for this love
For forever and a day
Now I have it, now we have it
Only love may stay.

Young man
You ok?

Everything's on top of you
I'm sorry to say
It gets worse as you get older
Middle class front liner

Just save money
Don't spend it on ****
Moderate your vices
Or they will own you

Be your own boss
Buy a house early
Invest wisely
Educate your world

Don't marry early
Travel, see the world
Fall in love
With a million girls

Be a gentleman
Be honest, don't steal
Do what you say
Say what you feel

Life is hard
Unrewarding and mean
No one gives a **** about you
Not even me

You're on your own
It's all in your hands
You ok?
Young man?