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John Destalo Dec 2018
we had joy
we had fun
we had seasons
in the sun

daddy at the bar
living in the dark
ages since he seen
light in his eyes

it is always night

in the jungle
the mighty jungle
the lion sleeps tonight

daddy on the toilet
head slumped over
snoring
as if not a worry

ben
the two of us
will be no more

daddy in the gutter
crying for
one more chance

And I know a father
who had a son
He longed to tell him
all the reasons
for the things he’d done
John Destalo Jun 2020
as a child
I did

I would
jump

everything

we had
nothing

I could go
nowhere

so I would
jump

everything
and

imagine I
was going

somewhere
John Destalo Feb 2020
I am a boy
called gangly

feet too big
to fit in shoes

legs longer
than my body

wrists the size
of a wedding ring

I like when
the sky is sad

turning streets
into oceans

and my long legs
can lift my big feet

into the open air

so I can feel
like a gazelle

leaping bodies
of water

to escape all
the predators
John Destalo Jun 2020
a father to a son
riding bikes by

the river

correcting his son
that it is not an

ocean

it is just
a river

and I wonder
if this will

reduce the son’s
wonder at this

important body
of water

will he think it
less important

rather than not
as large or not

as deep

as the father
probably meant it
True story - I overheard walking by the river today
John Destalo Aug 2020
the night is late
the liquid is rich
the smoke is thick
the lights are low
the sounds are deep

the words are
soft and smooth

and she is…

a slow dance
a last chance
John Destalo Jan 2020
I was
without

you took
me along

gave me
so much

within
John Destalo May 2020
intelligent
gents

mastering
language

and sounds

perfectly
measured

mixing just
the right

ingredients
every time
One of my all time favorites
John Destalo Sep 2020
a soul
cries

like a
kitten

too small
to feed

left for
dead

in this
angry
world

will it
find a

helping
hand to

pick it up
and feed it
John Destalo May 2020
she plays with
the word knife

makes it a girl

makes it cut
the others words

straight cuts
clean cuts

makes them bleed
their ink

down the paper

changes their
meaning

so they make
no sense

so she is the
only word you

can recognize
John Destalo Jun 2020
we live in
a house

with rooms
each one

with a purpose

we meet
as secrets

behind the
closed doors

we do not
lock them

excited by
the dangers

of the sudden
we are

excuses disguised
as reasons

we wear our
masks to

defend ourselves
from truth

believing

the mirror
never lies
John Destalo Dec 2018
She had no idea that

her words were eating away at me
like hungry piranhas

she was taking
small bites to savor
the newness of my flesh

if she could have seen into the future

the effects were invisible

she would have stopped

and then she devoured
a little more and a little more

but they were still just flesh wounds
always quick to heal
and I could still smile at her

and then more and more and more
until I could not smile

until she took her last bite

and there was nothing
left of me but her words.
John Destalo May 2020
people fight
over you but

I like to think
of you as

a place to crash
John Destalo May 2020
in the land
of mist

we are all lost
holding hands

for warmth
we don’t know

each other
and we don’t

need to
it is enough

to be together
in the land

of mist
John Destalo Jun 2020
I thought I
understood

or at least
I could

she didn’t think
it possible

she thought

at most I
could feel

empathize
with the life

of another

that was not
like mine

she spoke
of the

limitations
of shoes

and walking

and I think
I understood

but perhaps
I was just

empathizing
Inspired by a little back and forth with Paulina Porizkova on Instagram, which was cool that she responded at all
John Destalo Jul 2020
each star is
a letter

we look up
at the same

time in our
different

places and
create words

we name
each other

describing
all our

different parts
and how

they connect
or how we

want them
to connect
John Destalo Mar 2019
in a series of
dreams I

lost everything

and woke up
feeling whole
John Destalo Feb 2020
tears are the
first to go

my heart is
marble

a bust of you
before you left

in quiet days
I am an implosion

little voice
inside my head

talk me through
tonight

whisper me to sleep

say a prayer
like you believe

in me
John Destalo Apr 2020
sharp pains love
like knives

and broken
is the stain

we leave
behind

I cannot
speak words

there is no
separation

in the sounds
I feel

whimpers and
moans and
screams and

silence is

all I have
left to say
John Destalo Mar 2020
a condition
not a direction
John Destalo Jan 2020
I am less certain than most
how could I be anything else

doubt was my father
the one who raised me

the one who lives in me
the one who has always

looked out for me

nothing stays the same
so how could you know

you can only think you know
but I don’t think that way

the church named me thomas
and god is a stranger

how could he be
anything else
John Destalo Apr 2020
I write in pieces
and parts

they are never
meant to be

finished

complete but
not finished

they are meant
to be

components of
a larger story

which become
components of

a larger story

until…eventually

you get it

there is no end
to this story

we just tear it

apart and start
all over
John Destalo Feb 2019
Less a friend
than an addiction
big shoulders
pushing boulders
up thick grass
gaining mass
losing breath
with each step
a passion for pain
a predilection
for black
scratch my back
I'll stab yours
end my days
in a haze
I know the ways
to get lost
fingers crossed
on my knees
heaving lunch
or was it brunch
no matter
we're all a splatter
in the end
less a friend
than an affliction
John Destalo Jul 2020
we cross boundaries
and love our neighbors

as ourselves

intermingling ideas
like spider webs

stronger because
we are connected

he could never
understand this

his book was
written as a child

his brain and heart
were frozen

and never grew
larger than himself

even the grinch
learned how to grow
John Destalo Jun 2020
the single
soldier

I position
next to

his peers
I move them

about trying
to find the

perfect
formation

for this
attack

the enemy
is confusion

victory is
meaning

about those
things that

matter most
John Destalo Mar 2020
only 26
(and usually less)

that’s all it
takes to make
all these words

to make all
these words

that help me
make all this

meaning from
all this feeling

of the things
I love in this world

the alphabet

is right at
the top

it has helped me
more than

most people
John Destalo Feb 2020
call him names
like dad

he is late again
or not coming

again

wait outside
for him

again

look down the street
for him

again

the sky is
filling with
stars

country silence
surrounds you

cricket songs
serenade you

wait for him
again

call him names
next time you

see him
John Destalo Dec 2019
rain falls
with force

a constant
pounding

the world
losing grip

it was always
slippery

but enough
of us
believed in

each other

to hold it
together

we knew

words were
always lies

until they
weren’t

truth was never
merely
what you say

truth always
followed

what you say

truth was a process
always open

to challenge
from anyone

and never owned
by anyone
John Destalo May 2020
his words
couldn’t dance

they stumbled
one over the other

they had no
cadence

they had no
rhythm

the mind
like the body

moves to
a flow

and truth
flows

lies are
nervous

and have
no balance
John Destalo Dec 2018
I stared up and into
the core of a planet
constructed
with chicken wire,
slowly spinning
hanging on a string
no one will ever see.

It was constructed chaotically
but also purposefully,
and fits perfectly in
this specific place
and at this specific time
and I wasn’t sure whether
this meant it was art
or science
or whether there was really
a difference

I touched it
and watched it
spin faster
changing its form
to conform to the
pressure I placed on it;
and even as it was
reorganizing itself internally
it remained a planet still.

I couldn’t take my eyes,
my mind off it
as I stared at it
I started to see
spread sporadically
throughout this planet
were pieces of wire
that did not connect
to anything

so I stood perfectly still
to watch them vibrate
and then I heard them
humming and chirping to each other
like a family
of scared little birds
hiding their secrets places
and I felt the pain
and the fear
in these little wires
and then
I heard them speak to me

And they told me
where there is movement
however slight
there is energy
and where there is energy
there is life

and where there is life
there is danger

and I felt the danger in my soul
and I was spinning and spinning
and out of control

and I felt the danger in my soul
and I felt that I was energy
and in that energy
I felt the artscientist in me
come to life
and I knew
in that moment
that I was life
however slight.
Inspired while experiencing an art exhibit at MOMA
John Destalo Jan 2020
the laboratory
is free

mingling
mixtures
multiply

explosions
are neutral

creations
have many
forms

sides are
not taken

and

messes are
the norm

and everyday

we are new
as we are
John Destalo Aug 2020
floating alone
in the ocean

there are two gods

the sun and
the moon

rule the
cloudless
sky

creating extremes
in feelings

and faith
bi-polars of

pure light and
deep dark

and what is clear
in these moments

that happiness
comes and goes

in waves
John Destalo Jan 2020
the mind is
the creator

of miracles
and messes

I am in morass
moving slowly

my heart stutters

my skin feels
like dirt

ants crawling
all over it

feeling their
desperate days

living one line
one dream shared
and crushed

by one fateful step

life is a
dried rubber
band
stretched

If I was young
and beautiful

you would laugh

and nothing
would matter

or stutter
or dry out
or be stretched
John Destalo Mar 2020
everything isn’t
a war

and every opposition
isn’t an enemy

someone I trust

started his book
with the line

“life is difficult”

we all have problems
that’s life

and the more we
accept this truth

the easier life becomes
we stop expecting

the impossible and
go about living

and living means
learning to solve problems

so we work together
to solve our problems

and see that

everything isn’t a war
and everyone isn’t

our enemy
Inspired by M. Scott Peck and his brilliant book "The Road Less Traveled"
John Destalo Jun 2020
time & space
are teachers

if we let them be

we need to see
each other

existing

in time & space
and know

we are constrained
we are flawed

we need to learn
to be better and

we really do
need to forgive

each other
John Destalo Nov 2020
she cupped
his tears

in her hand
as they fell

let the puddle
separate into

individual
droplets

and watched
a pattern form

she traced it
as if it was

his lifeline
not knowing

that was what
he called her
John Destalo Mar 2020
I blow out candles
before I sleep

the flames try
to fight back

then turn to smoke
and disappear

I am alone in the dark

I am one of those
who think too hard

I break so many things
with my thoughts

some might have
been valuable

I don’t know

it is hard
for me to know

I am holding on
by a frayed thread

I can hear the
tearing

one by one
as I fall deeper
John Destalo Mar 2020
you told him a secret

a magical cure
a protection

from evil

and he believed you
after all you are you

so why shouldn’t he
so he took it

the end
John Destalo Mar 2019
everything breaks

healing does not
mean the pain
disappears

memories
clench into
the present

like fingers
and teeth

bleeding all
over the future
John Destalo Jul 2020
entering the seed
to sleep

I want to be
nurtured

like when
I was small

I want the
chance to

grow again

shed most
everything

until I am
a sliver

of myself
like the moon
John Destalo Aug 2020
lavish me
in yellow

and orange

don’t be
greedy

let it loose

wash away
my years

make me
feel young

I want to
shine again

I want to
be the sun

rising
everyday
John Destalo Sep 2020
plug me in
I want to

feel a force
surging

through me

I want to be
fully charged

I want to be
released

into the machines
I want to be

the power that
energizes the

world to change
John Destalo Mar 2020
another creature.  with her tongue.  in my ear.
whispering words.  implanting seeds.
I think.  I think.  these thoughts.
but maybe.  I don’t think.
maybe.  they aren’t thoughts.
maybe.  they are lines.
I don’t remember.
memorizing.
John Destalo Apr 2020
I remember

when I first
learned to smell

she walked by
my office

and

smiled in a
friendly way

leaving her trace

a lingering

like fragrant smoke
or a snake

that entered
me olfactorily

I learned later
why she remained

so long

she smelled
of eternity
lit
John Destalo Dec 2019
lit
the candle is lit

he screams like
a young volcano

my ears bleed
and I drink love

or something stronger
John Destalo Oct 2020
my little
blue heart
aches

it can’t speak

has feelings
but no words

to express them

so I take a walk
into a dark field

and lie down

surrounded by
yellow petals

I fell asleep in
the land of

the sunflower
and pray for

some of their
brightness

to leak into
my little blue

heart
John Destalo Sep 2020
this summer
was rare

not much rain

the river is
shallow

it is easy
to see to

the bottom

we sit on
the narrow steps

take off
our shoes and

dip our feet in

and let them
play with

the little fishes
swimming

between the rocks
and shells
John Destalo Jan 2020
we worship
the sun

and watch
her smile

she holds
the moon

in her
tiny fingers

squeezing
light

from inside
the darkness

hope can’t
exist

without fear
and we wait

for her whisper
when everything

hard turns soft
and love becomes

the basis of life
John Destalo Mar 2020
she never spoke

sat on the floor
and played

with silver stones
made them dance

in circles

sparkling under
the lights

her voice was
a melody

of soft sounds

she never needed
words

to make sense of
everything around her

and everyone around
her understood
John Destalo Mar 2020
was one of my
mom’s favorites

there was something
about it that disturbed me

so I didn’t like it and

she wouldn’t make me eat it
and sometimes she wouldn’t

make it at all
because of me

even though she loved it
maybe that is love


----



I would eat it if
she was still around

to make it


---



maybe that is love
John Destalo Nov 2020
today I want
to be micro

I want my world
to be a drop

on your skin

sweat
rain
shower
tear

and when
my world

disappears
I dissolve

into you
create a

new compound
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