I want to be
a live wire

the connection
between two

points

I want to feel
the flow

of energy passing
through me

I want to feel
the moment

when the energy
inside me

creates the energy
inside you

we feel in each other

the tight breath of
the starving

the offbeat of
the broken

heart

the shivering of
the untouched

startled by the
soft whisper of hair

sending a spark

when almost touching
any part of skin

and when we
enter the dark

our sharp tongues
enter each other

like venomous snakes

cutting inside
our mouths
spreading poison

we shed our skin
we shred our names

we exchange our
empty vows

vanquishing our language
we learn to feel

in each other

her form was
shapeless

like a dancer

she moved in
spiritual ways

her soul lived
on the surface

she was a child
of a god

she could be hurt
but not damaged

she spoke pure
like water from

a cold stream

her eyes radiated
creating energy

I lost myself in
the color pale blue

and when
she disappeared

I could not
find myself

when pain burrows
into the soul

of a child
it can live

off small things
for many years

growing slowly
it becomes an

attachment an
*****

another part
of his life

another part
giving him

life or so
he thinks

but it is a
symbiote

with a voice
of its own

seeming to be
just another

one of his voices

they ask me
if I am lost

I shrug and think
about it

I say

lost just happens
something that was

isn’t there

eventually
I notice the space

in my mind
in my heart
in my soul

sometimes it is dark
sometimes it is light

I have learned

it isn’t always
a bad thing

to be lost
they walk away

I’m not sure
if I answered

their question

there was
no time

on this day
I disappeared

and existed
all at once

merged into
an idea

that would
impact the

world

dancing with
two godheads

the destroyer
of form

the creator
of change

I want you
dark night

sensational

like the first
time I felt

life

racing
through me

a surge
of
computations

blocking
thought
from forming

I was
multiplying

and I felt like
I could become
a hundred me’s

and you would
love each
and every one

and when
sensational
became
just okay

it was devastating
to me

oh dark night

you could
not find
even one
of me
to love

so I needed
more
more
more
of me’s

I
concocted
a bright blue
liquid
of me’s

injecting
an explosion
of life back
into me

and then
you loved

each and
every me
all over again

like we were
the first time
again
and again and again

but this time
when sensational

became just okay
you were
devastated

leaving me
all alone

and tonight

oh dark night

tonight

without you
with only
this one
lonely me

I feel like
an angry cat

shedding glass

some songs are
not electric

they are lonely
meant only for

your soul
meant to be

your secret
never shared

you can dance
to it if

you want to
just not with

a partner
it has to be

just your body
feeling itself

lost in its
own space

I did not speak today
I did not make a point
I did not ask for help
I did not answer a question
I did not interrupt
I walked in the rain
I listened to the earth
water wind & fire
I watched a squirrel work
I watched the clouds move
I felt my breath
I slept

of the slightest touch

from the right person
at the right time

when the mind empties
and the heart fills

and the body is energized
and the soul is resurrected

last night

she met the
place where

dreams stop
she woke up

crying
without tears

screaming in
the desert

the emptiness
an endless

echo asking

sing a song
to me

like you used to

make it soft
and sappy

so I can sleep
and dream

happy dreams

please

sing a song
to me

like you used to

…
…
…

your voice
is weak today

or my memory
is fading

I am a playful beast

and I love to play
with words

the pieces of
a language

the keys to
understanding

your secrets
the truth you

buried deep inside

I want us to create
a new language

to tell our secrets
to each other

the secrets that
only we can

understand and share

Thousands of
tiny sparks
light up the night sky
fireflies floating freely
between you and I

it is summer hot
and I have found cool

and I have found the earth
by being buried deep inside it
as if one worm amongst thousands

and I have experienced the disappearance
of beginning and end

and I have experienced the disappearance
of male and female

and I now know
that I never really loved you
at least not in the same way
you loved me

and not in the way
that I loved
fireflies
and worms;
summer heat
and the cool
inside

and I remember saying,
I would love
to sculpt you someday,
as if that was a good thing

as if that was your reward
for loving me.

love is young
and fast

sugar ray’s
punch in

the gut
knocks wind

out

you can’t
breathe

you can’t
think

you don’t
want to fall

but your
legs give

out

and before
you know it

you are
counted out

and she is
declared the

victor

I love words
when they are

handled with care
to nourish and grow

…empowerment

I hate words
when they are

used as weapons
to crush and destroy

…enslavement

what are you so afraid of?
everything
not me, I hope
sometimes, yes
when?
when you are near me
ohhh…
and sometimes
yes…?
when you are not near me
well, that doesn’t seem fair
it isn’t…

we met each other

in an age
of distance

our hearts leaped

and our limbs were
made of dreams

thin but strong
we did not resist

the wind or
the times

we extended
ourselves

as far as we
were allowed

and shadow
danced

our first dance
waiting for the

wind or the times
to change

into the skin

enough to bleed
not enough to ****

for some it seems easy
for those of us

who didn’t learn
to love

at the beginning
we know

when the first trust
is broken

the scars are deep
and never fully heal

and if in a dream

I thought the
worst of you

would it be real

and when I woke
and you were there
next to me

and we smiled
at each other

wishing each other
a good morning

would it be real

can the end begin
in a dream

creating a nagging
sensation

that grows

pecking at the
back of your
brain like a

demonic
woodpecker

we never seem to learn
how fragile love can be

where something as silly
as a dream or a whisper

can spread a dis-ease

late at night
consciousness abates

the pen enters me
injecting black ink

becoming my blood
I spit black words

staining paper
with my soul

everything that is me
exposed to your eyes

I want you to know me
intuitively

so you never
have to

question me again

I saw her fold
it slowly

carefully

pressing her
thumb over

each fold
making sure

they were
perfect

lifting and
extending

her left arm

releasing the
plane into

the air and
walking away

she didn’t
know I

was watching
waiting for it

to land

petals plucked
I ask the stem

do you feel
the pain I do

I think you
must feel more

even though my
answer is not

I still have the
chance to

grow from this

a candle just
beginning to

melt

slow drips
burn and

the smell of
sweet cinnamon

intoxicates

stronger than
strong drink and

I cannot think
or breathe or

think about
breathing

when I am

drowning in
love

silver lips speak
electric they

touch in the rain
and explode

into particles
of light

changing colors
like the finale

of a fireworks
display

there is no
body part

or bodies

there is only
body

there is only
god saying

I am

a confused
word

a mindless
word

when it
becomes
human

constant
unwavering
support

to another

puts you
beneath
them

why would
you want

to always
be

beneath
them

be loyal
to an
ideal

and make
the human

live up
to them

always

make them
earn your
support
daily

only you
own your
loyalty

don’t give
it away

they don’t
have as

much power
as they need

you to believe
they have

what is a
leader

someone
with followers

so who has
the power

we take a walk
in the woods

stepping on
our shadows

breaking sticks
and throwing
stones

whispering words
that never hurt us

we hold hands
and wait long enough

for a black turtle
to cross our path

we never
asked for

each other
we each

prayed for
another type

this was
never meant

to be (in
some grand
scheme)

but it wouldn’t stop

no one
can resist

the pull of
the opposite

pole of a magnet

I know it is fading
there is more

weight around me
people trudge along

looking for conflict

creating a world
without laughter

I want to tap
everyone on the

shoulder and ask
them if they

remember how to
make a baby laugh

the cut of loneliness
does not bleed

no matter how
many cuts

everything inside
is dry
and dead or dying

I am not the first
to feel

this way but
for your sake

I hope I am
the last

truth is slippery
not slimy

but some words are
not real

they are birthed
in the swamp

by soul *******
creatures

who make you
believe

who make belief

like they are making
a midnight snack

taking a bite
and throwing away

the leftovers

touch me

without
fingers

whisper
words

that reach
deep

inside

breathe life
into

my dead spots

resurrect my
soul

make me
feel

too much

overwhelm
me

make me
lose

my words

make me
blubber

and shed

I want you
to swallow me

whole

let me live but
make me disappear

feed off me slowly
so I don’t notice

give me a book
with many words

so I can play

let me hear your
body growl

when you are
hungry for me

so I can sing

let me dissolve
slowly

and absorb me
so I never die

language is
a skill

before it is art

we all learn
words

and a little
bit about how

to use them
but it takes

practice to
use them well

and passion to
turn them

into spells

the baby
bird makes

noise but it
has to learn

how to sing

silly boy
silly girl

those borders
are artificial

designed for
someone else

for some long
ago purpose

they don’t
belong to us

we are natural
our mother

made us free

we can walk
together

where ever
we want

look at the
land

do you see
any lines

I am shaken;

a mixed-up
concoction
of chemicals
meant to be
abused.

Seductive pink lips
approach me,
consume every
ounce of me,
and I leave
behind a
wet stain.

I build and
build slowly
but hit fiercely.

I am power;
knowing she can’t
resist me.

I am absolute power;
knowing she can’t
reject me.

I am power
over pain

and then I am
pain

and she is
shaken.

we cover
not to hide

we have
an enemy

sort of
at least a
common threat

to our lives

it is not
conscious
or willful

it exists
to exist

it is more
an entity

than a thing
it doesn’t

know itself
or what it does

and what it does
is spread
within us and

then across us
and within us

one way to
stop it is

to wear a mask

yes it’s that
simple

wear a mask

who are you?

protecting me
from you

who am I?

protecting you
from me

we search each other
with our eyes

maybe flirting

our masks move up
theorizing a smile

our hidden lips
six feet apart

ache for
something more

in a whisper
I dream

a soft song
to sing

in a voice
that breaks me

I am open
willing to be

she is wind
controlled

my body is
free

released
from the
strings

and I float
away

following…

and so I go to work
creating my
masterpiece

bending bones
like wire
cutting skin
like paper
paint is
spraying
everywhere
mixing with
sweat and tears
changing colors
as it splatters
all over the canvas
and before long

it is
so many
nights
am I having
a dream
a dream
of white
calling me

I look up
from my work
my life

a masterpiece
fulfilled

and I see that
I have finally
created
“nothing”

we live as numbers
waiting to be counted

to become part of a
formula

that tells us what to do

we do not want to be
a remainder

a leftover
a piece of pi

that no one can
remember

she teased
the sun

made it hide
behind the

clouds but

the clouds
became

brighter
by being

close to her

I told you I was alone.  you thought I meant lonely.  so I left you.  
to figure me out.  but you didn’t.  really care.  that much.

so we were even.

she said I want to live inside you.  in a way that made it clear.  
she was jealous of my home.

I do not sleep.  without help.  the help.  makes me.  dream.  so I am.

entering dreams.  that hide their truths.  and I cannot question them.  when I am in them.  

one night.  I dreamed of struggling.  
against something.  then.  in the same dream.

I dreamed of peeing.  waking up.  thinking I wet.  my bed.

I did not.

I’m sorry.

I

can’t
can’t
can’t

get it out of my head,
the dread locks in place
and will never release me.

It has somehow become
a piece of the puzzle
and fits together perfectly;
neatly nestled into
that special place
in my brain
like a bear in his cave

waiting out the darkest days
waiting for that signal to awaken him
waiting for that spring to release

there is a virus
biological

it is new
it is information

our bodies
cannot process

it replicates
rapidly

to survive
not to **** us

there is a virus
cultural

it is not new
it is information

our minds
refuse to process

it replicates
rapidly

to **** some
of us

which one is
more dangerous

which is one
is really making

us sick

does it leave fast
or does it

linger in place
soaking in

everything
one last time

will I feel it
leave and

will it take with
it the memories

of me

will I hear it
say goodbye

will I know
where it goes

and will I care

I had a monkey

he was yellow
and black

with a plastic face

he held a banana
I held him

he was soft

I carried him
everywhere

he helped me
sleep in the dark

he let me cry
and didn’t

shush me

I

nature is square
the world is flat
and brown
the sun is a light
between cracks

my many legs
feel heavy as
I move
as if the earth
eroding
across this smooth
surface

everything must be
changing
but I can’t tell
the difference

restless

I try to rest
eating my bed in
small bites

I have suddenly become
obsessed with the
desire to sleep

II

dark creeps in
and wraps
around me

a snake

wanting to be
a new layer
of my skin

I want to resist

but I am without
willing movement

time recedes into
a singular

unending
moment

I feel a war raging
inside me

everything
that was me
fighting against
everything
I will become

I am forced to
surrender
to myself

resigned
to a truth

that what I will
become will
win and it will be
called me

as if nothing
has changed

as if no one
will notice

I have changed

III

I feel a warmth
nudge me

light slices
through the
heart of darkness

making sight
a first sense
once again

but meaning
still evades me

I feel movement is
still uncontrollable

so I do not fight
against what
will be

glorious
white wings
stretch
from somewhere
inside of me

lifting me
to this other
world

I rise with them
feeling as if I am
without limits

I am willing nothing
I am obeying everything
that is new

I am trying
to learn this
new way of
being

I am acting my way
toward living
as this new
version of me

she absorbs and emits

creates atmosphere
and odors

changes the world
at the micro level

we sense something
we cannot name

we feel needs
and desires

we move in
a frenzy

escaping
emerging

we dance and
transform

The pulsing,
the throbbing
of the magic orb
beckons me
downward.

The sun set early
quaking in fear
at the prospect
of my appearance.

The moon is nothing
but a faded memory.

The sky is lit up
by my entrails.

I crash land

exploding into your fertile spaces,
becoming a spectacle,
becoming a god.

I am a rock.
I am a star.
I am a rock star

baby.

isolated time
has less meaning

the clock strikes
and does not get

my attention

I have no
appointments

so I cannot be late

the alarm has been
laid off

like so many

and I wake
past midnight

and sleep past noon