she dips her
head in a

puddle of his tears

breathing in
deeply she

holds her breath

waiting for
that dove with

the broken wing
to bring her hope

yes, less
is more

the negation
of volume

the space
it creates

is so
valuable

absence
is permission

to explore
to discover

another way

to ask more
questions

and wait
for answers

after all

it takes time
to digest

onstage

I paint
a smile
create
a mask
it is
my gift
to you
to make
you laugh

offstage

each
moment
I live
ends in
tiny
deaths
tiny
pieces of
me
disappear
when you laugh

I think about her.  anticipate her.  expect her.  to be with me.  take her for granted.  not out of disrespect.  more.  like a breath.  or a heartbeat.  where my life depends.  on her.  am I asking too much.
to be with.

the laughing cackles
from over there

lips of a pack
of perfectly
manicured hyenas

unable to control
their simple natures

they speak simple and
repeat each other

simply

they would choke
on three syllable

words and

I would laugh
but they don’t

deserve my
sense of humor

don’t hurt
my feelings

they are
so small

and fragile

they are
all I have

inside me
I don’t want

to be empty
so please

I am asking
nicely

your voice so rare

the depths of which
are still unmatched

your words spark
longing in me

a longing for life

an eternal flame
that warms my soul

I will never cease
listening to you

to feel all of me
in your simple words

rest now soulful man

we see through
eternity

we hold angels
in our hands

like butterflies

we whisper and
create winds

hear our words
calling to you

to that place
in you

that knows more

that you always
follow

and call it you
and yours

because it makes
you feel powerful

I cannot sleep

tonight
there is something

out there for me
something more

than this
I can hear its

voice when I
close my eyes

it is deep
like a well

wishing me well

something in the
sky wants me

I heard the

god Jupiter
is bright

tonight

I wake to a buzz then
go back to sleep

for a few more hours
the day is too long

anyway

it squeezes the darkness
from the night

tries to make me
pretend to be happy

but I am the moon

cool blues
deep oceans
long nights

a howl

we are signals
messages

communicating
chemicals

learning to cooperate

we are formed
in liquid

a puddle of
nutrients
feeding us

giving us shape
and substance

at some point
we become
something

that can
be grasped

and named

and if we survive
we become

the beginning
of something

bigger

all the voices

that should know
promised me

it hurts more
today than

tomorrow

I want to
believe them

but heart pain
is not like

bone pain
doctors don’t

know the cure
and while the

heart as an *****
is well known

the heart as an
instrument of love

is still a mystery

there is a virus
biological

it is new
it is information

our bodies
cannot process

it replicates
rapidly

to survive
not to **** us

there is a virus
cultural

it is not new
it is information

our minds
refuse to process

it replicates
rapidly

to **** some
of us

which one is
more dangerous

which is one
is really making

us sick

she was small

a soap bubble
created by breath

floating away
by herself

so full of life and
not afraid to burst

in the same
bed we were

so far apart
we lost our

words in the
darkness

of our way
a lonely path

we travelled
too many times

we know our
way back to

each other
but sometimes

knowing isn’t
enough

petals plucked
I ask the stem

do you feel
the pain I do

I think you
must feel more

even though my
answer is not

I still have the
chance to

grow from this

long white
neck stretching

towards the
moon

delicate
silk

angelic
light

surrounds
the sound

your voice
lifting

my heart

slowly
vibrates

me to
sleep

angel crush
into dust

a fallen dream
evaporates

like smoke

the sky wants
to cry but

there are
no more tears

we are all
unborn fruit

dried vines
with nothing

left to give

I cut myself
with

blades of
grass

roseblood
drips

creating
mourning
dew

mother
sun rises

awakening
the healing

powers of
heat and light

I rise as one
who is free

to live a
second life

little one dreaming
her mind is a

phenomenon

her heart is a
balloon

she runs wild
against the wind

and always wins

she just learned
to whistle

with her lips

now she thinks she
is a birdie

I hope she learns
to fly

the city is bleeding

using needles to
drain the pain

of so many same days

we play with organs
like instruments

feel them weaken
under the pressure

mosquitoes bite
just for the fun of it

we let them have
their fill

watch them
enjoy their feast

then fly away slowly
just for the fun of it

our mouths are
gaping holes

of sound

I was afraid
of this life

the next step
is off the cliff

I don’t know
where it leads

or if I will land

we don’t all
survive long

enough to
become more

than we were
given

to become all
that we could

have been

I was afraid
of this life

I always wanted
another

the grass is tall.
around this tree.

with its thick trunk.
and hungry roots.

with its confused branches.
competing for space.

we lay out our blanket.

spread cheese on crackers.
drink wine and other spirits.

we feel the conflict of love.

the month and more.
of separation.

the feeling of difference.
and change.

the feeling of hope.
and regret.

we rub our naked.
limbs together.  

trying to make.  
the sound a cricket.

makes.

breathe in…today

fill your lungs with
the quiet violence

of modern life

feel it tear apart your
twice baked soul

with its silver-forked tongue

let it wipe away
your lonely tears

with 60 grit sandpaper

feel today course through
your open veins

exploding the past
into particles of dust

becoming a myth

I have lost direction
there is no point

to today

pain is a shadow

the lingering
stalking darkness

alive in the
most active
parts

of the mind

unable to see light
it is an earthworm

eating dirt
it has no end

tear it into pieces
and the pieces will

grow and spread

and eventually
it will become

so familiar you
won’t want it to leave

because then you
will be alone

when it is alive

hope is so much
more than words

it consumes people
in the same way as power

only it gives power
to others

instead of hoarding
it for oneself

it is hard to breathe
life into hope

it has to be honest
hope smells a fake

and will become dust
and disappear

but when hope is
real in someone

and not just a word
it truly can lead others

to a place of healing

I use my sharpest
teeth to tear

through your words

the raw ****** parts
I want to get to

the seed

the only part
that grows

I want to swallow
the meanings

sort them out

let them spread
through my blood

so I can absorb them

I know you
understand more

than you can
ever say

and this is the
only way I know

to know you

we are young
in a small place

sitting on a bank
you are looking

at me I am
staring far away

I ask you if
the tree floats

I say

I want to
leave this

place and

I want to
leave

by water

you say
something

about roots
and how far

into the earth

they go I
don’t understand

I jump in and
disappear

you stay on
the bank

and wave

his words
couldn’t dance

they stumbled
one over the other

they had no
cadence

they had no
rhythm

the mind
like the body

moves to
a flow

and truth
flows

lies are
nervous

and have
no balance

a girl with
deep thoughts

stared through me

seeing patterns
form

in the smallest
things

sitting still
on a sill

she opened
herself to

a thin pane
of glass

and what
lived on

the other side

love is
an angel

the devil
was an

angel

love can
fall hard

we must
learn to

forgive

it is a gift
we can give

if we choose
expecting

nothing in
return

I know
it is hard

but it is
softer

than the
fall

especially
when we

hold onto
everything

the place I
dream of

belonging

a battle between
dark and light

people with weight
trying to

become enlightened

music with meaning
creates a background

where everything aches

voices dance and
bodies bend

chaos is choreographed
and life and death

tell their own stories
immortality stays young

by feeding on
generations of

disillusioned youth
even the sun has

dark spots that
can’t be explained

in philosophy and
religion

pleasing
the gods

or

pleasuring
myself

every coin
has two sides

I toss one and
call it in the air

I watch it
flip and turn

waiting for
it to land

changing the
meaning of

each side to

suit my needs
I am only human

I hope you
are too

she has her
way with words

she is honest

she must be
connected

to herself
feeling through

the layers we
build around

ourselves
to the core

of what it
means to be

her

it takes time
to choose

what

it takes time
to understand

why

it takes time
to learn

how

she has devoted
her time

wisely

a child does
not arrive

into an empty
world

lives were lived
with loves and

losses

endings have
been written

but not acted out

pretty flowers
have decayed

but not discarded

we carry the
weight of generations

of mistakes
in our souls

every child is
an output of

a common process

but not every child
is planned or wanted

given that we still
have to live

a life and find
a way to make

it work for us
and the next

I did not laugh today

my mouth was the
shortest distance

between two points

I was not unhappy
I just wasn’t happy

you said words
and laughed

but I did not think
they were funny

they were just words
you linked together

and I couldn’t understand
why you laughed

this happens
more often
then I care to admit

I do not hate you
I just don’t love you

she plays
with so

many things
a skinny

beautiful
creature

with a first
class

mind and
imagination

a puppet
master

creating
sights and

sounds
we follow

to our death
if we have to

but I don’t think
that is where

she leads us

on the pier
a morning walk

where nothing
is clear

from the first
I feel at home

no one can really
see me

I cannot really
see you

something can be
anything

someone can be
anyone

she died
that night

suffocated
by pain

a body
against
itself

cells
contaminated

by an
intruder

no one
let in

but it
had a key

that no one
gave it

and that
remains

the mystery
no one has

solved

more connections
than nodes

elegant and
simple

emergent

still
quiet
and balanced

flexible
and open

patient
able to wait

for pleasure
and wade

through pain

she sang

slow
deep
****

hypnotic
lines

a spell

all
eyes
exposed

she moved

slow
subtle
****

stretching
all
her
parts

she was
part
animal

a siren
longing
for
pleasure

a partner
to
please
her

made a list
and kicked it
twice

steel
toes
crushing
dreams

futures are bent

like
the
universe

we were not meant

to
live
this
long

civilizations spent

all
their
savings

on crap like rent

the sun sets
goes to rest

somewhere
I cannot see

it is peaceful
knowing it

will rise again

and I am
left alone

in the dark
I cannot sleep

I am restless

not knowing
what comes next

he drank to
disinfect his soul

he felt corrupt
hearing voices

from the past
generations of

drink calling
to him

zombies on
the same path

dead before
they were alive

killing the spirit
of all who

loved them

her form was
shapeless

like a dancer

she moved in
spiritual ways

her soul lived
on the surface

she was a child
of a god

she could be hurt
but not damaged

she spoke pure
like water from

a cold stream

her eyes radiated
creating energy

I lost myself in
the color pale blue

and when
she disappeared

I could not
find myself

a white
space

a void
a pause

a canvas
of purity

everything
appears

purposely
clean

a woman
is placed

into the
center

naked
exposed

curls herself
into a ball

trying

to hold
everything

together

the vulnerability
of her world

of the world

she is
a model

of something
human

an expression

of an emotion
we all feel

she is brave

you were once
a goddess and

now

they claim you
telling other humans

they own you
they are in control

of you

as if you could
ever be owned

or controlled

did not earth
teach us

anything about
ownership

and control

the cost of
paper

we print

to solve
all our

problems

numbers
add up

but we can’t
count

that high

we don’t have
enough

fingers or toes
to pay

our debt

the nuts in
my head

are cracked
the squirrels

are feeding
getting fat

on the
smorgasbord

I thought I
understood

or at least
I could

she didn’t think
it possible

she thought

at most I
could feel

empathize
with the life

of another

that was not
like mine

she spoke
of the

limitations
of shoes

and walking

and I think
I understood

but perhaps
I was just

empathizing