with my finger
I make small circles
in the air
I am conducting
something
before there was
something
the sound of cells
separating
it is the first music
instrumental
instruments
beginning the
formation
of space and time
the dividing lines
making anything
possible
but I do not decide
I am not right
or wrong
good or evil
I only create context
you fill in all
the blanks

she is an
artform

a movement
a new way

of thinking
and acting

one lifetime
is not enough

to discover
her patterns

I will pass
my observations

to the next
generation

and hope they
create a new

science or
religion from

her way of life
so we can all

learn how to live

she in me

time and space
have merged

the world
is sleek

I feel the image
of her body

whole

I feel

there is no
reason for
tomorrow

she cuts me
bleeds me
weakens me

her words
eat me
seeds and all

and I know
I’ll never

be strong enough
to
pull myself away

the day after spring.  
I walk outside.
into empty streets.
my steps still carry the cold.  

the sky is black.
the voices from the deep.
seem near.
you can’t be alone.  
we won’t let you be.
without us. ever.

I swallow.
small holes of intensity.
multiple colors.
I feel the slow burn.
descend.
as I am entered by.
a hazy band of light.

it is expanding.
and I am rising.
into the dark.
seeing exploding stars.
sparkle.

I cannot stop.
I have to let it.
burn itself out.

I cut up
the world

open it
to only me

it has to be
only because

it is up to me
to share it

I **** up
its essence

a potion
a poison

let it move
through me

let it change me
as I change it

I give it back
to the world

and hope I
have created

more than I
took

her face is young
but her voice is older

I can feel the lines
and curves in

her dark whisper
deep with a beat

her words bounce
around inside my soul

disrupting the
status quo

and I want to scream
but I hold it in

and let it linger
let it stay with me

let it change me
in ways you can’t see

this room is
in too deep

stuck in
thick layers
of sick

we live in a semi-circle
and I can’t move

dark thoughts
are snakes
swallowing
themselves

living on
without
a natural end

voices seem
disembodied
detached

meaning is
hard creating
pains

we pass them like
peppermint candy or gas
or kidney stones

I ask you questions
in hard and sudden bursts
to penetrate you

I want to reach the word
in the center of your soul

to unwind the snake
so it can rise within you

giving you the power to
release it once
and for all

some tears
fall inside

sight unseen

softening
the soul

preparing
us to be

remade

there have been
moments
when I felt myself
complete

every cell
of body and soul
integrated
alive and
thriving

a universe
inside a universe
giving birth
to another universe

sensitive
to the fluttering
of air
the movement of
butterflies
from anywhere and
everywhere
electrifying my skin

penetrating
making me

come out of
my skin

emerging

with wings
white and thick

a soul aged not old

I have had moments
like this

they always start
when I stand on a cliff

and lift my arms to fly
and I jump

believing I can fly
or someone will catch me

we lose our covers
each layer
that protects us
we are creatures
in the purest form
vulnerable
losing our violence
facing our fear
the only real fear
we are Voldemort
on the table
clinging to the last
of ourselves
with harry asking
anyone who dares to listen
what is that
even though he knows
everyone knows
when they see themselves
it is just hard
to be honest

One man split into two, the halves greeted each other as if strangers.  “Hello, my name is Mind.”  “Good to meet you Mind, my name is Body.”  They were cordial but apprehensive as one who does not quite trust the other because of unfamiliarity.  They walked next to each but did not fit together as I would have suspected from two halves taken from one whole.  

I could hear her whisper, “Are you cured yet?”  I was still in a fog as she woke me from a very deep sleep to ask me that.  She was in a panic.  I could tell she had been crying for some time.  

I did not know who she was, I could only remember dreams, and nothing else from the life I must have led before.  The nonsense was the only thing that seemed to make sense.  

There must have been something wrong with me, or she wouldn’t have asked me that.  Was it body or mind I did not know? Did she think I was insane or dying?  

I answered, “Yes.”  I guess I am cured because I do not believe anything is wrong with me.

I am small words
beginnings

I can merge
into anyone

and become
anything

belief is a grip
born from hope

formed and deformed
hope is a mutant

disconnected from
beginnings

this is ****
I like to write

she said hold
my hand and jump
it only stings a little
fall with me
into another land
where everyone floats
and changes shapes
we can see whatever we want
trust me
there is no bottom
there is only forever and
we can discover it together
she always knew more than me
so I followed

she still lives
in me
she is impossible
to eradicate or
                       ****
she is a brain
   tattoo
she is inter
  twined
     a ****
         a vine
her traces
are such
she cannot
be traced
a slight
  sight
     sound
        feeling
            touch
gives her life
    in me
       an ember
           a spark
I cannot
live without

when pain burrows
into the soul

of a child
it can live

off small things
for many years

growing slowly
it becomes an

attachment an
*****

another part
of his life

another part
giving him

life or so
he thinks

but it is a
symbiote

with a voice
of its own

seeming to be
just another

one of his voices

we sit.  on a branch.  of knowledge.  investigating truth.  we hold hands.  we kiss.  we laugh.  we create.  a philosophy.  a shared way.  of being.  a religion.  with one doctrine.  everything we believe.  
is open.  and free.

I pricked my skull
and dug around

a little

to find the
source

hoping to create
a tiny hole

create a leak
where only the

best parts of me
would drip

a tiny hole
from which

I could escape
and leave behind

all the crap I
let build up

before I knew me

I met her
as a child

and fell in love

she was so
tall and bright

she lit the world
and helped me see

and I knew
the sunflower

loved me back

she saw the
brightness

I buried
in my soul

I may not
smile as much

today as I
did then

but I
know the

sunflower still
loves me

smaller than
an orange

I lifted her
and saw her

bruises and scars

she was not
perfect

but I took her
home anyway

she was
so sweet

Music can seem
so much like salvation

Sgt. Pepper was a revelation to me
I knew all the words like,
It’s getting better all the time

and at 15, I wanted to believe it
but I was an angry young man

man was I mean

I mean I was scared
but I couldn’t admit it

didn’t fit in
still don’t

but it really doesn’t matter

if I’m wrong I’m right
if I belong I’m right
if I belong

I wanted to leave home
after living alone
for so many years

but I was only 15
and man was I scared

swallow all
my words

whole

like pills
release their

magic

into you
let them

flow

through all
your deep

parts

let them
break your

resistance

and turn
you into a

feeling

I take my time
around the curves

each bend tells
a different story

speed is for those
who go right to

the ending
they don’t

understand suspense

the secret is to
live inside

the mystery
notice all the details

so you can tell
your own story

shapes are not sizes
and angels are not rain

but they fall

the earth is hard
and life is harder

without wings
or a net

the angry core is fire
compressed

and some stars
explode

but they do not die

she did not
catch me

when I fell

but she did not
promise to either

she had her own problems

I felt it when I landed
no bounce

(like her)

the earth had
nothing left to give

without
reflection

there is
only
others

to blame

soulless
means

there
is no

growth

there
is no

learning

there is
no

intention

there is
only *******

from others

to survive

his voice is deep
and fluid

carrying shades
of blue and black

specks of red
in battle scars

I listen to him
he has lived

so many words
and loved so

many pains
a heart held

together by
thin threads

I listen to him

his words
impregnate me

the will be
my children

when I finally
learn to speak

I know I belong
to those with

a life in which
dark came early

and light was
at best a shooting

star

appearing suddenly
then fading back

into the dark
slowly

so you can
imagine you

still see the
pieces of light

and you hold
onto those pieces

as long as you can

go ahead

shove your
fingers deep

into my heart
feel my first scar

skin melts
into cream

I dream
of a world

without me

where cameras
are too big

to hold
or hide

and I can
walk my

dog “diggity”
on the street

and clean up
behind him

and it is
a chore

not a story

she bends like
a young branch

or a flowing river
there is no resistance

in her
when I see her

magical movements

I think we
need to create

a different name
for her body

and declare her
the new truth

and create a
place like her

where we
can all fit in

there is a rhythm
to my blues

I pace myself

it takes energy
to smile

and speak

and the light
can get too bright

to see
darkness can be

revealing and
hibernation

is a thing
not just for bears

some of us are
earthlings

we need to
spend some time

underground

I felt you
urgently

like a siren
going off

inside of me
something

clinging
desperately

our souls
entangled

telling each
other

a story that
doesn’t want

to end

silly boy
silly girl

those borders
are artificial

designed for
someone else

for some long
ago purpose

they don’t
belong to us

we are natural
our mother

made us free

we can walk
together

where ever
we want

look at the
land

do you see
any lines

rising from the rocks
part spirit or smoke

she is not an illusion
she is an appearance

an almost transparent
otherworldly creature

she holds flames
tightly to her chest

as if they came
from her

as if they are part
of her

she looks scared
not knowing what

comes next
what comes of her

appearance in this
strange world

the body is
a blooming

flower

the color
of the sun

the fragrance
is a message

floating in
crisp air

the morning is
a moment

we first meet
and face the

day together

we feel in each other

the tight breath of
the starving

the offbeat of
the broken

heart

the shivering of
the untouched

startled by the
soft whisper of hair

sending a spark

when almost touching
any part of skin

and when we
enter the dark

our sharp tongues
enter each other

like venomous snakes

cutting inside
our mouths
spreading poison

we shed our skin
we shred our names

we exchange our
empty vows

vanquishing our language
we learn to feel

in each other

Our bodies are
commingled in gold.

We close our eyes
so that our bodies
are the only things that see

and now I see you
for the first time.

With only my fingertips
I learn the details
of your face,

the sudden warmth
of your cheeks,
the space of a
missing eyelash.

I touch your lips
with my lips
and pull you into me.

I feel you pull away
just enough
for me to follow.

teaching me…

Woman is a process,
and man is made of wood.

lines are drawn to
capture shades and shapes

creating relationships

I am a figure myself
captured caged space

but sometimes
parts of me leak

slip between my cracks

creating stains I
cannot not see

until they appear

the in between

past and future
are gods

behemoths
trying to squeeze

everything
into themselves

making the
in between

so small
as to seem

insignificant

is cannot
forget or

be remembered

is

is not a god

is

is what
gods fear

I was always parts
of others

held together
with white glue

sticky not strong

not strong enough
to stand on my own

I met her
by accident

she opened herself
and spoke to me
with her soul

soft words

that I could hold
within me

soft words
that did not
damage me

alien words
that let me breathe

alien words
that created
more space

than they
occupied

freeing me
to become

they say tomorrow
a giant swarm of
birds will cover
the night sky
as many as
50,000
on their way to
somewhere else
oh god it is my dream
to join them
it must be like
living inside a
young human brain all those
neurons swarming
from place to place
connecting and
disconnecting
the controlled chaos
of the moment
to some destination
in the distance
I can’t wait to see it
and dream I am
one of them

I did not speak today
I did not make a point
I did not ask for help
I did not answer a question
I did not interrupt
I walked in the rain
I listened to the earth
water wind & fire
I watched a squirrel work
I watched the clouds move
I felt my breath
I slept

I want me.

everything I say.
gratifies me.
I grade myself.
superior.
I please myself.
in every way.
I tell stories.
about myself.
as the hero.
I tell the world.
how much.
they need me.
I am the beginning.
of everything.
good.
before me.
there was nothing.
good.

love me.
trust me.
tell me.

at the beginning.
of everything.
you say.

how great
I am. and.

blame me.
for nothing.

a human body
toned as
an instrument
to create a
perfect note
a perfect
movement
connected to
the world
only by her toes
and when she
leaps I feel
the earth move
as if she is
holding it
together with
only her toes
and I am witnessing
the collapse
of the world that
only stops when
she gracefully
lands on her toes

there was
no time

on this day
I disappeared

and existed
all at once

merged into
an idea

that would
impact the

world

dancing with
two godheads

the destroyer
of form

the creator
of change

there is this tree
something mystical
and magical
filled with
thick thorns
hanging off
the branches
are yellow
sun-like bulbs
looking so delightful
and delicious
creating the beginning
of a fairy tale
protecting the entrance
to another world
I dream that one day
I will brave
the thorns and
eat the fruit
to enter this
magical world
and live to tell
my tale

I say three
words

with nuance

only three
words

and each
time we

speak

you seem to
understand

more about me

eventually you
will know

me so well
I won’t have

to speak

how lovely
that will be

there is no
light in the sky

this dark has
no name

she is not
presence

she is absence
somehow she

knows me

with black cat
eyes she calls me

by my name

I am obedient
to her every sin

scared of my
own potential

I could only
really live

when inside
her skin

I worked at
a dairy

stamped the
date on milk

containers

warning people
when it expires

or it is supposed
to expire

there is no way
of knowing for sure

when we start
to get lumpy

go bad
taste sour

should be
thrown out

is a spiral
of learning

finding the next
seed

solving the
next problem

knowing there

is no ultimate
source

at least

not one
you will find

in your lifetime

but you keep
searching

believing there
is an ideal

for everything
you believe

the smart girl laughs

only when it matters
only when it means

something

then I know I am funny
she gets it

but still I never get her

what does a guy
have to do

if all we said
we said
leaving nothing
unsaid
would we
understand each
other more or less
is there space
for space
between us
does space give
us more meaning
to play with
each other or
more space to
play with others