My parents are just people.
All the things I felt they should have been
Maybe they should
But they were people
And they weren’t

I needed what they didn’t know to give

And now I, a person,
Have failed to give my children so much that I should have.

And the best way to reach forgiveness for your parents
Is to be a parent.

There are plenty of people in my world
From whom I have to hide my tears.

If you love me
You will let me show you my pain.

If you are my friend
I can tell you my truth.

It's been one year since I lost you.

You went so fast.  Just 18 days and you were gone.

If I needed advice,  you were the one I called.
When I was hurt,  I talked with you.
Nobody has ever understood me like you did.
Even when we disagreed--and we did, strongly sometimes--you were on my side.

I want my daddy back.

We are all accessories
In your story.

None of us exist
Except as we augment you.

That is why
We will all be outdated and discarded
When next year's model
Of you
Features a new charging port.

Why do I still love you?
I'm not sure.
You don't actually want me.

If you did

all these excuses of loyalty,  of duty,
Would be reasons why you still talk to her
Reasons for picking up the occasional gallon of milk,
Not reasons for staying.

I'm not interested in being the other woman
So your very presence hurts me.
But you don't understand why.

You want me to have only smiles for you,
Never make you uncomfortable.

I am a person.  I feel.

If you don't want to know my feelings,  why do you ask?

I can only come to this conclusion:

You want to be loved by me.  
You love knowing that I think of you,
Want you,
Dream of you.
But only to the extent that it doesn't inconvenience you.

For you,  I am an accessory.


Don't you know that if you fail to adequately charge your accessories,  the batteries are permanently damaged?  

You are killing my love,  one conversation at a time.

It's raining
And I'm outside
Waiting for you
Because you asked.

Why?

you took every minute particle of my love
each molecule of energy
I ceased to exist
except in relation to you
and I was happier than I had ever been.

so when I knew that your brother
was growing inside me
I thought there would be no love
no me
to share with him.

but some time, some how
entire new universes of love
of existence
exploded into being

for him,

for you

for us.