You tell everyone you’re ok
But you hide in the dark
Buried beneath insecurity and doubt
Fearing the next day’s spark

You have a smile
But its never really real
Because you stopped feeling
And it stopped hurting after a while

You can feel your heart beating
But after so long
It doesn’t seem to be doing its job
After every beat failing and restarting

You can't believe this is living
But this is all it will ever be
Shaking and cracking with every breath
You simply want to stop being

I’m a writer
I’m a fighter
I’m not a crier

I’m a dreamer
I’m a reader
I’m a fairy tale believer

I’m clever
I rarely say never
I want to be better

The universe
Has me
And I must
Not
Relent

I’m not making sense anymore
Overdramatic and overdone
But no I never won’t run
Dropping parts of me
All over the floor and ground
Yet falling tears don’t make a sound
Careless and out of place
The look of my own face
Staring into my eyes
Suddenly I despise
More than just me
I hate the thing that shows me

All day long
People walk
With their heads down
Because in their phones
Is where their faces belong
All day long
No one talks
No one glances up
No one smiles
Where did we go wrong?

She’s so tired
She can barely open her eyes
But she has to,
She has to make it through.
Her head droops,
All she wants to do is sleep
But for her grades’ sake,
She has to stay awake.
Movements sluggish
And she reeks of no sleep
But she has to keep moving
For her deadlines will not.

Keep your thoughts inside
Pretend you have nothing to hide
You have to appear strong
Show them they’re all wrong
That you’re worth something
That you’re not made of nothing
Shove it all away
Even if the feelings stay
They can’t see who you really are
Broken down and not up to par
You can’t appear weak
Your life cannot look bleak
You will be happy
Your world is not ******
It’s all good put on a smile
Just pretending all the while
You need to make it through the day
They won’t see you any other way
So you fake it all day long
Hoping no one figures out what you’ve been doing all along
You’re slowly sinking and not rising
And each day devising
How to hide
In an effort to keep it all inside

People hold hands
And occasionally they move away
Maybe it means more to you
Than you’ll ever say.

People gaze into eyes
And then they’ll glace away
Maybe it means more to you
Than you’d ever dare to say.

Some people smile then stop
Their eyes glisten with tears
Maybe it breaks you apart
More than once throughout the years.

People say they’ll be there
But eventually they’ll move away
So maybe it breaks you down
More than you’ll ever say.

It’s been a long day my friend,
The hours blend together,
And it never seems to end.
It’s been a long week my brother,
Every piece has fallen,
Just dropping, one after the other.
It’s been a long month my sister,
Thoughts caught in a blender,
Carried away by a twister.
It’s been a long year my lover,
Rain dripping, drizzling, dropping,
And without you, no cover.

It is you that holds the key
To the never ending sea
It is you that holds the lock
To the spinning clock
It is you that holds the key
To let the birds fly free
It is you that holds the lock
To the stubborn rock
It is you that holds the key
To my every plea
It is you that holds the lock
To ignore every knock
It is you that holds the key
To the lock
Hidden deep inside of me

They told her who she could be
Never asked who she wanted to be

They told her how to look, how to smile
Inside she was cracking all the while

She did what she was told, never spoke back
Of herself and identity she slowly lost track

She didn’t know who she wanted to be
She didn’t know who she could be

Because they pushed and pushed too hard
And now all that’s left is a girl scarred

A girl who can’t decide
A girl who always did abide

By what she was told to do
They never realized or knew

That the girl they forced to be perfect
Is torn up, shredded, and wrecked

I don't know you
the sad look in your eyes
a smile held together by glue

I don't know you
you're not someone I recognize
and you look so blue

I don't know you
a face shrouded in disguise
a face bound to fall through

I don't know her
Yet she's becoming clearer
I realize I'm the girl in the mirror

A heart that’s part of a whole
A heart that’s been a half its whole life
Searching for its perfect match in vain
While the owner drowns in pain

A heart wandering on its own
Wondering why it has been left all alone
Swimming in the sea of halves of hearts
In the sea of broken parts

A heart that is only half of a whole
Needs a partner to complete its soul
It cries into the early light
Because it’s only a part of a whole
A heart wandering aimlessly
Into the dark of the night

He was the unwanted
She was the unneeded
You think this is a love story
But you’re quite wrong
This is not cheery
Nor is it long
She cried in her bedroom
Tears soaking her sheets
He hid in the band room
Behind the plastic seats
She was sad
He was low
It was too bad
They would never know
That they were meant for each other
And should’ve been together

Lay your head down and go to sleep
Beautiful dreams I hope you keep
Dreams of dragons and fairies
And flying yellow canaries
Close your eyes and just rest
For today you’ve tried your best
You’ve given the day your all
Now slowly let your head fall
And dream of beautiful things
Of princes and diamond rings
Relax and let your bad thoughts float away
In the hopes that the good ones will stay
Dream of flurrying white snow
And fireflies that always glow
Dream of a sunny beach
And stars that you can reach
Dream of flying kites
And dream all through your nights
Lay your head down and go to sleep
Beautiful dreams I hope you keep

Eyes wander
Through a crowd
As I search for someone who
Is not as loud
As I search for someone who
I am allowed
To touch, to feel, and
Unashamedly gaze