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Lily Barrett Nov 2018
They told her who she could be
Never asked who she wanted to be

They told her how to look, how to smile
Inside she was cracking all the while

She did what she was told, never spoke back
Of herself and identity she slowly lost track

She didn’t know who she wanted to be
She didn’t know who she could be

Because they pushed and pushed too hard
And now all that’s left is a girl scarred

A girl who can’t decide
A girl who always did abide

By what she was told to do
They never realized or knew

That the girl they forced to be perfect
Is torn up, shredded, and wrecked
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
All day long
People walk
With their heads down
Because in their phones
Is where their faces belong
All day long
No one talks
No one glances up
No one smiles
Where did we go wrong?
look up every once in a while. you never know what you will see.
Lily Barrett Apr 2021
I’m ok, I swear it.
(I’m lying.)
Don’t look at me like that.
(I know you’re seeing through this.)
Yes, that’s my real smile and no (*******) I don’t want to talk about it.
(Because you don’t want to hear it.)
There’s nothing to talk about!! I’m doing just fine.
(I’m really not.)
I don’t look sad this is my normal face.
(I just spent 20 minutes crying in the shower.)
Can you just leave me alone?
(Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone.)
No, you don’t need to stay, thank you though.
(Insist on it, please mean it.)
Okay, see you tomorrow!
(Maybe not.)
Just written to describe the bad days.
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
I was having a bad day
So like balloons in the sky
I let all the bad go
Saying goodbye
They’ll come back I know
Just hopefully not today
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Lay your head down and go to sleep
Beautiful dreams I hope you keep
Dreams of dragons and fairies
And flying yellow canaries
Close your eyes and just rest
For today you’ve tried your best
You’ve given the day your all
Now slowly let your head fall
And dream of beautiful things
Of princes and diamond rings
Relax and let your bad thoughts float away
In the hopes that the good ones will stay
Dream of flurrying white snow
And fireflies that always glow
Dream of a sunny beach
And stars that you can reach
Dream of flying kites
And dream all through your nights
Lay your head down and go to sleep
Beautiful dreams I hope you keep
Lily Barrett Sep 2019
Can you see the way she holds herself in
The way she won’t let anyone in
Can you see through that fake smile
And her face cracking like tile
Can you not see she needs a hand
To get up and stand
Can you see her eyes losing light
Like a lantern on a dark night
And can you not see
That maybe she needs more
Than just to be
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
She cared too much
About how they thought of her
And how she looked
She cared too much
About finding “the right one”
She cared too much
About having the right friends
And the right pair of shoes
She looked in the mirror
And realized she hated herself
Hated what she had become
She said, “***** it,”
And the girl that cared too much
No longer cared at all
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
The best source of warmth
Comes from feet intertwined
And pairs of legs crossed
It comes from two hearts
Beating as one
It comes from the closeness
And the breath of another
The best source of warmth
Comes from arms holding
And eyes gazing
It comes from a body
That is not your own
But belongs to the person
Who now holds you
Close to their heart
not my normal style but I think it works :)
Lily Barrett Feb 2020
Who wins in a fight
Death or War
Who would make it into the light
Who would fall to the floor

Would Death with his scythe
Carve War into pieces
Would he scream and writhe
As the fighting ceases

Would War with his ire
Crush Death in his hands
And dance around his pyre
As victorious War stands

Would Death live without War
Would War live without Death
Or would they simply be
No more
I saw a prompt that said asked: "Who would win in a fight; death or war?" I think that one cannot live without the other. What do you think?
Lily Barrett Feb 2019
Facing your fears
That cause all your tears
Will only end it all
If those fears have a name to call
Think on it for a few:
Do the things that scare you
Have a name?
I think that
Demons need names too
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
Do you believe in magic
In the good and the tragic?
Do you believe in all that can be
More than just what you see?
Do you believe in heaven
And the lucky number seven?
Do you believe you would be right
To believe in a future that’s bright?
Do you believe in your ability
To be the best you can be?
Do you believe in the world
And all the stories you’ve been told?
Do you believe?
I think beliefs are sometimes what keep us hanging on
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
As you turn each page
Each one yellowed with age
They tell a story of a life
That ended with a knife
Not a happy story
Maybe slightly gory
Maybe a little sad
Maybe happy, just a tad
You turn each page
Each more yellowed with age
Your eyes full of wonder
As the story puts you under
Some sort of mystical dream
Where nothing is what it should seem
But all turns to bad
All happy turns to sad
As you turn to the last page
Yellowed with age
You see a life full of struggle and strife
Ending with a knife
Lily Barrett Aug 2019
It's an exorcism
It's a release
I release my demons
Screaming into the night
And in the darkness
They're finally out of sight
at least for now...
Lily Barrett Feb 2020
You cry into the night
Your eyes so puffy, you can no longer see
Clutching your pillow with all your might
But it's not who you want it to be
Closing your eyes and imagining with all you’ve got
That she’s still really there
And hasn’t left you and forgot
That she said she would care
You’re so mad it's consuming
But the sorrow is your undoing
For anger doesn’t bring tears
Except when the sadness appears
Let’s cry and cry and shout
And just get it all really out
Maybe it’ll feel a bit better
When you can just
forget her
written for a friend
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
She was not fragile like a flower
She was fragile like a bomb
She could not be crushed
She could not be stopped
She was not scared of anyone
She was only scared of herself
She was afraid of destroying everyone and
She was afraid of destroying herself
Lily Barrett Jun 3
Who told you
To handle me
Like a carpenter handles a saw?
I am made of glass
and I swear
If you love me
I will break.
I will shatter
into a million tiny pieces
and never be the same.
Repaired things are only weaker
never stronger
and I, my friend,
have been loved
too many times.
LHB 6/3/2023
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
“You have to move, get up.”
“I don’t want to.”
“This is sad you need to get over yourself.”
“I’m broken, and I don’t think I can be fixed.”
“Then fake it. Get up and put on a smile.”
“It hurts too much; I just want to cry.”
“No crying! It’s not worth it.”
“But I just can’t let go…”
“You have to move on. It’s the only way.”
“Please, all I want is five minutes to let it all out.”
“You’re pathetic. Fine. Five minutes.”
“Thank you,” said the heart.
“You’re welcome,” said the mind.
And the heart and mind cried together.
Just for five minutes.
LHB 2019
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
Keep your thoughts inside
Pretend you have nothing to hide
You have to appear strong
Show them they’re all wrong
That you’re worth something
That you’re not made of nothing
Shove it all away
Even if the feelings stay
They can’t see who you really are
Broken down and not up to par
You can’t appear weak
Your life cannot look bleak
You will be happy
Your world is not ******
It’s all good put on a smile
Just pretending all the while
You need to make it through the day
They won’t see you any other way
So you fake it all day long
Hoping no one figures out what you’ve been doing all along
You’re slowly sinking and not rising
And each day devising
How to hide
In an effort to keep it all inside
Lily Barrett Jun 9
I am of my mother
Tired hands shake
When the days are long
Letting others take
If I'm not strong
Unable to truly hate
Shoulders that carry
Insurmountable weight

I am of my father
Stubborn, obstinate
A ridiculous bother
Against any threat
A mind that curdles
When it is bored
And a heart that hides
When it is adored

I cannot leave
And run far away
From the me I perceive
The price I must pay
To be human is steep
More than my sum
Yet it's all I’ve become
In this body I keep
LHB 6/8/23 revised 6/26/23
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
I don't know you
the sad look in your eyes
a smile held together by glue

I don't know you
you're not someone I recognize
and you look so blue

I don't know you
a face shrouded in disguise
a face bound to fall through

I don't know her
Yet she's becoming clearer
I realize I'm the girl in the mirror
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
there's a hole
in my heart
and I think it might
just tear me apart
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Night gives way to dawn
as the earth heaves
a mighty yawn
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
It is you that holds the key
To the never ending sea
It is you that holds the lock
To the spinning clock
It is you that holds the key
To let the birds fly free
It is you that holds the lock
To the stubborn rock
It is you that holds the key
To my every plea
It is you that holds the lock
To ignore every knock
It is you that holds the key
To the lock
Hidden deep inside of me
Lily Barrett Dec 2019
Waking up to nothing
But there was once something
You can feel it
It was there and now it's not
What was it you wonder
As the dark pulls you under
What did I miss
And what did I lose
That made my heart bruise
You wander in and out
Of yourself and other things
And you don’t know
Where exactly to go
You had a purpose
you know that for sure
But why suddenly
Is it there no more
Someone grabbed you
And pulled you apart
And now you’re left
With a broken heart
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Sitting, staring at a screen,
What the hell does it all mean?
Can I sort through this mess?
And oh, let me express
How I truly feel
No more, no more, it’s a deal
Gone to another land
End of the day at hand
And as much as I like to dream,
I want to let out a SCREAM
I feel so done and
I believe the demons have won
Lily Barrett Jan 2020
You tell everyone you’re ok
But you hide in the dark
Buried beneath insecurity and doubt
Fearing the next day’s spark

You have a smile
But its never really real
Because you stopped feeling
And it stopped hurting after a while

You can feel your heart beating
But after so long
It doesn’t seem to be doing its job
After every beat failing and restarting

You can't believe this is living
But this is all it will ever be
Shaking and cracking with every breath
You simply want to stop being
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Listen all, and hear me well
Listen to the ringing of the alarm bell
It’s time to go, time to flee
Time to get out of what we can see
We can dive deeper I know it
Deeper, we go, pushing the limit
Listen all; it’s time to go now
Leave with a flourish and a bow
Go somewhere new, leave it all behind us
It’s been a good life, but it needs to let go of us
Listen all, it’s been fun
But now its time to pick up and run
We haven’t seen everything, not yet
And we should leave before the sun has set
C’mon, c’mon take my hand
And together we shall travel the land
See what can be seen and hear what can be heard,
We shall do it all undeterred
Listen all, and listen well
And hear the ringing of the alarm bell
Its telling us to flee
And we must go, and be free
I like to think of this one as two people running through life trying to experience as much as they can before their time runs out.
Lily Barrett Mar 2019
It’s been a long day my friend,
The hours blend together,
And it never seems to end.

It’s been a long week my brother,
Every piece has fallen,
Just dropping, one after the other.

It’s been a long month my sister,
Thoughts caught in a blender,
Carried away by a twister.

It’s been a long year my lover,
Rain dripping, drizzling, dropping,
And without you, no cover.
I could've sworn I already posted this one but I realized I hadn't...
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
It’s been a long day my friend,
The hours blend together,
And it never seems to end.
It’s been a long week my brother,
Every piece has fallen,
Just dropping, one after the other.
It’s been a long month my sister,
Thoughts caught in a blender,
Carried away by a twister.
It’s been a long year my lover,
Rain dripping, drizzling, dropping,
And without you, no cover.
Lily Barrett Jan 2020
I’m not making sense anymore
Overdramatic and overdone
But no I never won’t run
Dropping parts of me
All over the floor and ground
Yet falling tears don’t make a sound
Careless and out of place
The look of my own face
Staring into my eyes
Suddenly I despise
More than just me
I hate the thing that shows me
double negatives are fun...
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
I’ll mess with your head
You’ll listen to every word said
Terrified and lonely you’ll become
And I’m just someone
Who made you scared
Made you think no one cared
I’ll make you feel all alone
You should’ve known
To not let monsters in your head
To not let them live under your bed
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
People hold hands
And occasionally they move away
Maybe it means more to you
Than you’ll ever say.

People gaze into eyes
And then they’ll glace away
Maybe it means more to you
Than you’d ever dare to say.

Some people smile then stop
Their eyes glisten with tears
Maybe it breaks you apart
More than once throughout the years.

People say they’ll be there
But eventually they’ll move away
So maybe it breaks you down
More than you’ll ever say.
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
No matter what you
Or what you say
It’s going to hurt anyway

No matter what you think
Or what you believe
We all have to grieve

No matter how much you beg
Or how long you plead
You will eventually bleed

No matter what you stop
Or what you try to prevent
You will be discontent

No matter how it ends
Or how it begins
Everyone else always wins
Does it not seem like the world only goes well for everyone but yourself? It can get frustrating even if it's not true...
Lily Barrett Apr 2019
No one wants me
No one cares about you
No one wants to be
Like me and you

No one wants to hug me
No one wants to hold you
No one wants to see
The mess of me and you

No one loves me
No one ever loved you
No one hears our plea
To be loved too
Lily Barrett Apr 2020
I’m not okay
Maybe this time
It's okay to say
I’m not doing well
But none of you
Could ever tell
I’m dying inside
It would be better
If I just cried
Losing control
My tears blurring
Taking their toll
I’m not alone
But my eyes are
Hardened like stone
I’m not angry
Only sorry
That I am me
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
Count your dreams
One by one
As they turn into streams
One by one
Catch them if you can
One by one
If only you ran
Count your thoughts
One by one
Calling the shots
One by one
Show them you should
One by one
If only you could
Count your emotions
One by one
Go through the motions
One by one
If only they stayed
One by one
If only they didn’t fade
Count your words
One by one
And cut all the cords
One by one
That tie you down
One by one
As we
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
I am one person in the midst of a billion others
I am a grain of sand on the beach
Surrounded by trillions of others
I am a spark in a world of fire
With flames at my feet
It becomes easy to feel small in this world of ours
Lily Barrett Aug 2019
I could write of lovers
With hands intertwined
I could write of foes
With guns primed
Of people running the streets
No idea of why or what for
Of people next to empty seats
Sitting and hoping for more
They only have so many years
They only have so many days
Suddenly all the tears
And the empty “always”
Doesn’t matter anymore
For your time is long gone
And life eventually
Will not go on
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
A heart that’s part of a whole
A heart that’s been a half its whole life
Searching for its perfect match in vain
While the owner drowns in pain

A heart wandering on its own
Wondering why it has been left all alone
Swimming in the sea of halves of hearts
In the sea of broken parts

A heart that is only half of a whole
Needs a partner to complete its soul
It cries into the early light
Because it’s only a part of a whole
A heart wandering aimlessly
Into the dark of the night
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
Pretend it all away
Believe only the good things will stay
Try not to think about it at all
Instead lock it behind a wall
Use a chain and a lock
And of it never talk

Pretend it all away
Then the days won’t be so grey
Everything is okay, everything is good
Everything is as it should
Don’t let it in
And keep it hidden within

Pretend it all away
And create a new way
To go about life’s travels
As the story slowly unravels
What has been seen
Is all caught in the in-between

Live to the last day
And pretend it all away
fake it until you make it...
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
Puddles big and small
A thunder call
To come pouring down
On a small little town
I think encapsulating rain in a few lines doesn't do it justice, but I love the simplicity.
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Sleepless nights
Are the worst
Because each time it hurts
More and more
Every part of me is sore
Sleepless nights
Cause me to think
Of what pulled to me to the brink
Of self-hate
To escalate
Sleepless nights
Are common
And completely rotten
I no longer sleep
My dreams I no longer keep
Sleepless nights are dark
Not even a single spark
Comes through the window
My head in limbo
Sleepless nights
Are spent alone
I lie prone
On my bed
With the tears I shed
Sleepless nights
Occur more than twice
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
somebody stole me
I feel so empty
yet somehow
so free
what if you didn't have to be you for a day?
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Someday, maybe
I will travel across the sea
I will see the world
With sails unfurled
I will see all the people
Where it was once peaceful
I will see the mountains
Through the sharpest lens
I will visit everyplace
Meet every face
I will learn more about myself
Than I could ever find on a shelf
I will try all new things
I will see what life brings
I will dance in the rain
Without any more pain
I will travel the sky
Feeling as if I could fly
I will swim the deepest lake
Not much will it take for me to wake
I will see life as it runs free
Someday, maybe
just a touch of wanderlust
Lily Barrett Jan 2019
The author reached into her book
And over her characters she took
She attached strings to the humans
Led them to their happiness or ruin
Controlled who they became
And made not one the same

She painted trees with her eyes
And created mountains and skies
She let the scenes drip from her fingers
Onto the pages as her influence lingers
She slowly created worlds and wars
Fabricated houses and hidden doors

She plunged into her story without a thought
And the rest of reality she forgot
She painted with her mind body and soul
A masterpiece of her own control

From her tale and made up lands
She slowly removed her hands
and the author came back to the world
To recreate her story already once told
Lily Barrett Feb 2019
I think I can make it
The end is almost here
Im already there I can feel it
The finish line becoming clearer
My life isn’t finished
And neither am I
Dreams extinguished
I must say goodbye
I think I can escape
This endless cycle of death
That keeps rewinding like a tape
As I keep
B    r      e       a        t           h
I'm particularly proud of the end.... :)
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
Don’t give up just yet
The sun hasn’t yet set
Soon the day will come to a close
And I want to make sure everyone knows
That you did it, you finally reached the top
And nothing made you stop
If life threw you rain
You stood and let it wash away the pain
When life became a weight
You were never late
When life gave you darkening skies
You never one said lies
If life gave you sun
You were ready to run
When life was full of hate
You let it slowly abate
When life gave you lightning
You never once admitted that it was frightening
So don’t give up now
Wipe the sweat off your brow
The end is near and in sight
Can you see the light?
can you see the light? maybe not just yet, but soon. I promise
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
She’s so tired
She can barely open her eyes
But she has to,
She has to make it through.
Her head droops,
All she wants to do is sleep
But for her grades’ sake,
She has to stay awake.
Movements sluggish
And she reeks of no sleep
But she has to keep moving
For her deadlines will not.
Lily Barrett Dec 2018
Ever since my birth
I’ve been gripping the edge of the earth
The scientists aren’t right
The world isn’t round
Making not a sound
I’ve been hanging on with all my might
Lily Barrett Nov 2018
He was the unwanted
She was the unneeded
You think this is a love story
But you’re quite wrong
This is not cheery
Nor is it long
She cried in her bedroom
Tears soaking her sheets
He hid in the band room
Behind the plastic seats
She was sad
He was low
It was too bad
They would never know
That they were meant for each other
And should’ve been together
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