Eyes wander
Through a crowd
As I search for someone who
Is not as loud
As I search for someone who
I am allowed
To touch, to feel, and
Unashamedly gaze

If foundations were people
If the houses on top
Were those they love
If the builders and contractors
Were a person’s maker

What does it mean
When the foundation
Is set up to fail
With ****** concrete
And cracks forming too soon

When the house realizes
Instability upon which it sits
It will empty and
The foundation is left alone
Needlessly weighed down

When it topples
A few decades later
Lasting shorter than it should
Do we blame the builders
Do we blame the foundation

It's said that coffee
Is a bitter drink
Today I swear
It's the sweetest

I am of my mother
Tired hands shake
When the days are long
Letting others take
If I'm not strong
Unable to truly hate
Shoulders that carry
Insurmountable weight

I am of my father
Stubborn, obstinate
A ridiculous bother
Against any threat
A mind that curdles
When it is bored
And a heart that hides
When it is adored

I cannot leave
And run far away
From the me I perceive
The price I must pay
To be human is steep
More than my sum
Yet it's all I’ve become
In this body I keep

Who told you
To handle me
Like a carpenter handles a saw?
I am made of glass
and I swear
If you love me
I will break.
I will shatter
into a million tiny pieces
and never be the same.
Repaired things are only weaker
never stronger
and I, my friend,
have been loved
too many times.

I’m ok, I swear it.
(I’m lying.)
Don’t look at me like that.
(I know you’re seeing through this.)
Yes, that’s my real smile and no (*******) I don’t want to talk about it.
(Because you don’t want to hear it.)
There’s nothing to talk about!! I’m doing just fine.
(I’m really not.)
I don’t look sad this is my normal face.
(I just spent 20 minutes crying in the shower.)
Can you just leave me alone?
(Please don’t. I don’t want to be alone.)
No, you don’t need to stay, thank you though.
(Insist on it, please mean it.)
Okay, see you tomorrow!
(Maybe not.)

Unfocused and lazy
Tired and vision hazy
Somehow they never see
Who you could be
You’re too strong
You’ve waited too long

Now all you do
Is just to get through
You cant seem to think
And thoughts always sink
Into the black of your mind
Harder and harder to find

Caffeine running fast
The high doesn’t last
Slowly slowing down
Just starting to drown