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kbww Sep 2018
I missed you today.
At the coffee shop.
On the bus.
In my chair at the office.
I wanted to say
Yes I’m feeling on top.
There’s a seat here for both of us.
Doing well, uh oh, here come the bosses.

I sat there all day.
I looked up every minute.
Stirred hands across the keyboard
I wanted to be in it,
Involved in this life and the people
And plans.
But all I do is keep tight lipped
With tremors for hands.
Spider webs for brains
And an undisciplined bladder.
And when I get up to go, it didn’t seem
To matter.

We say fake goodbyes
And look down at our shoes
As if clues to these blues would just
Jump out in twos.
But not even two, not even one.
There are no clues
It’s in front of our faces.
The glow of a screen
Humanity erases.

I missed you today, at all of those places.
Because every single stranger had buried
Their faces.
Not one smile or hello or greeting.
And this is now how people are meeting.
You don’t know I’m having a rough time.
I could speak up.
but I see your headphone lines.
Eyes fixed ears shut.

I just wanted someone
To acknowledge me a short while.
But we’re so disconnected,
I can’t even get a smile.
~kb
kbww Aug 2018
Open scars poured with liquid emotion
Potion
Elixir
Fixer
Forgetter
Step on toes and apologize later
Loose talker
Blinded intelligence
A pure soul and virtue of benign benevolence
I love you I hate you will you be my friend
Burn down the next liquid, my throat needs to mend
To spew out opinions and blind web read facts
You need to be my friend, I’m not what you think
I don’t stink
I don’t *****
I ***** a little
You do too
Just to have someone next to you
You swallow your pride and face what you see, but
It makes you feel whole to wake up next to me.
Tell me I’m beautiful tell me please
Tell me when you want me down on my knees
I slap you with putrid feelings of hate
That I drank to provide you with a willing debate: do I **** this ***** or get out while I can
But you’re only just a *****, lonely old man
I’m in your house so I can easily leave
But I won’t
Because you wanting me is such a reprieve
kbww Aug 2018
There are three realities we live:
How we perceive ourselves and the world,
How others perceive us, themselves, and the world,
and reality- the truth of life without the interruption of perception.
Which reality is true? And how can one live in reality when it can’t exist as one entity?
Who am I, truly?
I am one of three
And none at all
kbww Aug 2018
Temperature inside me
Peaks to a new degree
Monsters peel back their skins
Fall in the sides of me

Play with my ***** heart
Rev it up let it start
Play with my ***** skin
Open it, see what’s lies within

A flurry of butterflies
Wrap their matching wings round your eyes
You scurry to compromise
That you’ll take the dark with the light

But you know now with wings exposed
Your mouth attempts to say what it knows
Now you’ve seen where my butterflies go
Into the cocoons that used to be my soul

******* the insects back I smirk at your face
How can something so beautiful hide absolutely no grace?
All it was was midnight, no moon
How can your face not display this doom?

Don’t be fooled by a wisp of a wing
As gentle as whiskers, they are a dark thing
Separated in flight a simple joy touches the air
As they come more and more, joy and lightness won’t fair

      -k B~
kbww Aug 2018
Calling, knowing the conversation.
Touching every fingertip together as
Anxiously, I wait.

Hello?

Now I must speak, tweak the tone to
Emotion
A hard thing to do if you’re not used to the
Notion
Of pretending to be someone free and content
When I just want to scream my soul’s
Lament
But it’s nowhere to be found,
I’ve put up the posters no calls
No hiding spot behind he stuffed dolls or
The easy bake oven, the innocent that
Should’ve stored that soul tighter than
The secrets of
A coven.
That’s where it is, I guess, in a mess of dark secrets and tests and trials and
Death.
Instead of the scream, I puffed up my chest
Rested the menagerie of thoughts ready to eat and I repeat
What I’ve said, too many times and in too many ways. Bite my lip tear slips away:

Hi, Mom?...Um, I’m not okay.
kbww Aug 2018
The writers
The poets
The painters
The 3 AM, fingers hurt, brain stirring creators
The perfectionists
The ones who see lines others don’t
The ones that make magic of color,
blindly constructing new hues
that sparkle souls
The coffee dependent nicotine optional private spaces and nostalgic places thinkers
The sunset embracing never picture taking beauty only felt by the soul nature lovers
The lost, the ones that have no idea the gifts they possess
The one’s whose aura floats
masking senses stirring emotions

I need you.
The world needs you.
For what is a world without the beauty of creation?
I don’t want to know.
Expose your soul.
Parts of yours keep mine from breaking.
kbww Aug 2018
She said,
“Give me your sadness
you don’t need it here.
Dry your tears, lose your fear, you know
I will always be here.
You always used to tell me
that I saved your life.
Those dark times were rough
you held me so tight.

But what I need you to know now
is how you’ve helped me,
so your journey can be free in your thoughts of me.
You would tell me you loved me
and show it even more.
From special cooked meals to wrestling on the floor.
You kept me warm at night, and cooled my head when I got a little heated.
And even now at the end, I still don’t feel defeated.

I had you in my life every step of the way.
From the birth of my children to this
dying day.
You have never failed to make me happy,
I just hope I can look down
and see you happy, too, and help you through the frowns.
I’ll look below, you look above.
Know that I’m there, and we still have
our love.”

She never spoke a word as she said this to me,
just those eyes that I gazed in said all that was needed.
A paw on my hand and a last wag of her tail,
I watched her pass, and began to wail.
I composed myself,
ready to face new fears.
As I stumbled outside, I dried my tears,
and I looked above, because she told me to.
And I could hear her saying,
“Don’t you worry, I’m here with you.”
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