I no longer love her
Or maybe I still do
Or maybe we ran out of time
To tell each other
How much love we have
Or had left

I've hurt her so much
And so has she
What's left now?
Besides the silence
That fills the room
With doubts of us

We fell in love
Then
We began falling out
Falling slowly
Ever so slowly
Into the mundane routine
Of cold kisses and obsolete hugs

That is the truth of our destiny
Our hearts filled with love
Love and empty promises
That never came to be
All the illusions we never achieved

I feel I'm walking out to sea
With the resentment weighing on me
Like stones in my pockets
And I'm starting to drown
I regret it all, I regret I ever spoke,
And I regret this poem.

I love her so.

I love you inside your mind
  I love you outside your head.
  I love you in solitude or screaming
  stroking you gently or kissing thighs
  in dreams or nightmares bravely or
  shrinking in fear from your anger.
  I love you inside out and upside down
  north south east west night or day.
  I always love you most at 3AM while
  you gently snore and talk in your sleep.

A little acne and insecure
tell me I'm better than before
am I funny and smart and strong?
or abandoned and always wrong?
Leave me in a box with a note
apologizing for thread bare coat.
We live in a brand new big city
in the projects filled with pity
free everything without a dime
a poorhouse prison without time.

As the raven's shadow eclipsed the sun
   I trembled with doubt for my beliefs.
   I wished I knew hidden truths gods are
   privy to and I'll die in ignorance again.
   Once more I claw beneath dignity in
   search of a captain's beauty with wild
   hair and wild heart and a poet's blood
   to write this history upon bent knee.
   Maybe we'll discover we're pieces of the
   same puzzle and complete a masterpiece.

I assumed you would always be there
like the sun and the moon and the stars
Deducing that we were like resin and glue  
always adhesive as two

I imagined a life together as one
forging metal, releasing the fire  
into the furnace of love we would go
how was I to know

That a star is none else but a fixed point of light
and the sun is a gleam, of radiant confusion
that the moon is none else but reflective sparks,  
I presumed we'd be together forever

like the sun and the moon and the stars,  
like the sun and the moon and the stars.

INTO THIS WORLD OF LOVE I HAVE BEEN PLANTED
LIKE A PRECIOUS SEED DEEP BENEATH THE SOIL
I GREW UP FULL OF HOPES AND DREAMS,  
BREATHING AND LIVING IN THIS BITTERSWEET EMBROIL;
I BELONG HERE IN AS MUCH AS THE SUN, MOON AND STARS
IN THIS WORLD OF LOVE, I TOO CAN SHINE
ALL THE KINDNESS AND LOVE IN MY HEART,  
I IMPART & GIVE TO THOSE WHO NEED IT MOST...

I close my eyes and recall yesterdays beautiful summers
barbecues from charcoal bricks and slow basted meats
aromas that lingered long after the first sizzle of rare
Mother arriving with a platter of raw hotdogs and steaks
dad fanning the fire with an old tin top.   Fumigated waves
of thick gray smoke filling the air, we waited hungerly  .
Later stuffed as little piglets we would gather round
the wooden picnic table, and tell stories and jokes.  
The sun would slowly begin to descend and the air
would gently cool. We'd all go inside for hot tea
and a little T.V. sitcom.
How I miss the old days, wish I could bring back
even for just one day,. so I could smell the barbecue
and drink mother's sugary strawberry Koolaid,
one more time.

If I had wings the size of helicopter blades
I would circle the world over and look for you
If I owned bulbous sheen o'er Irish glades
tinged in bronze I would enhance, accrue
the worldly space of you, for I love you

If I were paper or some origami glue    
I would enfold your secrets inside my heart    
If I were a harbinger of love an Angel of hue
a Carvaggio masterpiece of light and dark  
I wouldn't need to travel far to be with you

If I knew the waltz I could dance to your music  
I would leave behind my celestial lair
If I knew you needed me, I would be quick
I'd turn back the time and fly through the air
land at your side because I do care

I'd circle the world for the ripple effect of  your smile,  
then enter your soul, just to bridge the last mile.