i seem inimical,
i bristle,
like thistles,
with prickles,

eyes, dead weights,
droop in sockets,
as patriots for country
longing to be free.

but embrace me, i'll melt,
love can pierce outer pelt,
i've no savoir faire, i'm not suave or svelte,
but i'm sensitive, i'm human, i need to be felt

confusion, a thorny brier,
darkest thunder clouds
as smoking wood on pyre
surrounds a corpse-in-shrouds

blinds my eyes from seeing
my heart from upward fleeing
my ears from G-dly breath
that draws me up from death

it suffocates and kills
the spirit pure within,
as gasoline oil spills
stifle life marine 'n fin

i long to break through
free myself from chain
it's up to me to do
to make myself regain

my life for self, for soul,
to do what's right for me,
disregard opinion poll
of whether they adore me

why do actions so affect?
destroy my self-respect?
o G-d allow me once again
Your Face and truth attain

boxes of newspapers,
under grey cloak
their musty vapours
stick in the throat

'Don't throw them out',
she said, with a frown,
'you can learn all about
the history of this town'.

'Never discard
what may come in use,
paper or card
you can always reuse.'

'There's always more
to read in a paper!
It's waste I abhor;
be frugal in nature!'

Thus was her hall
with boxes crammed,
rooms, wall to wall
packed and jammed

with empty envelopes,
tins and tubs,
bits of old rope
worn out scrubs

but when she left
this earthly abode
her body in cleft
neatly bestowed

hoards were forsaken
there was no need
for all she had taken
was her spirit and deed

Under Your Feet lapis lazuli,
Oceans' cerulean blues on high,
Firmament of awesome ice transparent,
Infinite Beings energy apparent.

How can I address You on high,
Place supplication afore Your Footstool,
I of flesh and maggot nigh,
Speak before the Infinite Rule?

'Tis my soul that does the speaking,
Spark of Yourself in my keeping,
Planted in dust before its reaping,
The burning flame forever seeking.

If dust to dust, then flame can lust
For Fiery Source, in Thee I trust,
Father, however low I fall,
You are my saviour, You are my all.

Lady Autumn, in russet hues,
'Neath urban shawl, in shadows fold,
Her softest breath, a poet's muse,
Silk whispers, saffron gold.

Skin aglow, with burnt flushed cheeks,
She fulminates 'gainst dying sun,
In skies that smoulder in crimson streaks,
Her voice, the wind's, lamenting hum,

To every leaf a eulogy,
Tribute to its murmured secret,
Once a part of Symphony,
Now tumbles to a tyre's rut.

Soft the pavements tread her cloak,
In alleyways, in quietude,
Drapes from willow and chestnut oaks,
Now silhouette of awkward ****,

In amber light, in frozen grasp,
As frost begins its creep,
As Autumn yields to Winter's clasp,
As world succumbs to sleep.

i write with faltering pen, no wisdom,
dip my nib in tears and blood
write in anguish and despair
as floundering ship not knowing where

it's headed in waters turbulent 'n rough
frothing, a storm unseen foretold
gnashing teeth of sharks rebuff
surrounding, grinning, as friends of old

blinded youth with no insight
stumble aimless in the dark
mistaking mirage for real light
shark's teeth for lighthouse spark

the ship has lost its rudder
there's no wheel at the helm
at the slightest shudder
the sea'll overwhelm

the sailors with the people
who've forgotten how to swim
paid no thought to the ripple
now the outlook's grim

i'm not so concerned of their survival,
they'll weather out this storm,
it's just that soon may come a tidal
wave, bubble bursting, losing form

in a moment, all is lost,
with no vision, ship is tossed
as a match, save Grace's Hand
lead them back to soul and land.

he sat by himself
the man by the fire
sipping his wine
nursing his ire
thinking of those times, of the years gone by,
the children laughing, the jostle, the cry,
watching them grow, each in their fashion,
this one was gentle, this one with passion,
now they're gone as moonlight that flitters,
he's left with those thoughts, a memory that glitters,
the wars of love, of hurt and despair,
as he sips his red wine, alone in his chair.

dark despair, feeling worthless,
tucked in bed by day and night,
lost his rudder, sense of purpose,
lost his reason, lost his fight.

so i led him slowly inwards,
deep within recess of mind,
there to find his evil landlords
that had left him deaf and blind

and as arrow to its target,
as a magnet to piece of steel,
to a memory of long departed,
imagined scar that wouldn't heal

in his mind his little sister
dead in cot at one month old
in his head allowed to blister,
fester as unhealthy mould

he, at five, alone with her,
conceived the thought that he'd killed her,
self-respect began to wither
creating shadows to bewilder

close thirty years, the secret blame
had struck him down and made him lame,
because of false sense of shame
the game of devil with no name.

why do people hurt others
what pleasure do they get?
why can't we all be more like brothers
not seek to harm beset?

In the greying steel and glass,
hands, dry and blistered, labour,
a merciless smoke turns days to dusk,
as a worker grunts to neighbour

through din and grime, thin bodies mined,
choking in tireless toil,
All dreams quenched, all brains confined
To clunk of drums and oil.

Beyond lies world where riches rule,
Where lies are painted bright,
Marble steps to cerulean pool,
Break the rhythm of light.

Each step another shoulder bowed,
Another voice is numbed,
Another to submission cowed,
As feelings rank, unplumbed.

And dreams are forced to wilt and die,
In factory's metallic guise,
Beneath unseeing, endless sky,
In sweat of muted cries.

Saw a vase on the table
sweet williams and chyrsanths,
perfect, like from a fable,
ready for French romance.

the greens and reds contrasted
in lively voice of colour
as if they knew their planting
was theirs to scream and holla

Now they're tired and wither,
their heads droop down in pain,
they know not whither nor whether
their strength they will regain

As rose begins to light the skies,
Dew'd petals wake from sleep,
As songs of thrush in air arise,
'Midst swallows' swoop and leap,

In that beauty, harsh and hard,
A canard's tail slithers,
A falsehood dressed in truth all marred,
A golden poppy withered,

And shadows grow from day to night,
Crushing love's embrace,
And darkness smothers beacons bright,
The light of Divine Face.

round and round this world goes,
a sphere and not a square,
and round and round the time flows
to only G-d knows where.

though time is linear
and moves in straight line
and year upon year
build on baseline

yet what was, will be,
it'll come around again,
but next time the enemy
will learn about pain

If all the world were monochrome,
black and white like a funeral home,
layers of grey of different shades,
gloom and doom of deepest hades

if colour was something you read of in book,
an out-world experience of an LSD hook,
then all at once someone switched on the light
and wow what a difference before you in sight

how your spirits would lift as you looked round in wonder
at the greens and the mauves and the blues over yonder,
the bricks of the wall in shades of red coral,
the yellows and limes of the willow and laurel,
faces of scarlet, of softness of pink,
depth and complexity of a master craft's ink,
what a wonderful world that would be to be in,
aye --- a wonderful it is, to be in.

Wrapped in a white cloth,
Candle at his head,
A vacuum of feeling,
Much left unsaid.

I saw the building,
Saw the cask,
Tears rocked my being,
'Why?' I did not ask.

Dreamed he was alive,
Smothered underground,
Dreamed he would survive,
That he was still around.

But my soul had died,
Together in that cask,
I lie there by his side,
In lost love to bask.

i'm seeing straight, i think,
though mind is somewhat reeling
and i feel i'm stepping on a brink,
it's either me or ceiling ...
the walls were perpendicular
but now they're inward leaning,
i'm usually not particular
but now i've funny feeling,
corridor used to be much wider,
and wall-to-wall, the ceiling,
yet now, just after cider,
[hic, was it whiskey i spied? eh?]
i'm walking slowly from side-to-side
bumping walls on either, slide,
woops, i've landed on my hide,
my head feels better on its side,
just leave me be and tell my bride..

take my head                                        i take your head
hold me                                                 i hold you
kiss my lips                                           i kiss your lips
fold me                                                  i fold you
in your embrace                                   in my embrace
                  together we will ever be as one

monochrome photos
scattered haphazard
records and stereos
quests unanswered

whirlpools ****** into
fantasies that ne'er were
chambers of worldview
combine in whirr 'n blur

liminal space
'twixt fact 'n delusion
twist experience
from fact to illusion

painful emotion
adds to confusion
as concept 'n vision
unite in fusion

a cacophony of noise
projects its poise
on memory montage
on life-collage

and whisper and cozen
with devil collude
for soul's erosion
all goodness elude

long fingers from the shadow
grasp at him from behind,
tentacles, voices, eyes that grow,
haunt his day and mind

There's a mystery beneath the ground,
beneath the rocks and singing brook,
a screaming of no sound,
sealed letters, an unread book.

G-d the soul You put in me is pure
planted in a grave it rattles cages
beats against the stifling lure
Deep within its crying rages.

asking why
i was born
in this century
the year
the day
the family
is like questioning eternity

what type o' napkins when we're wed?
how about smarties or currants in bread?
hard drinks selection with buffet-spread?

pull the plastic over his head

what kind of flowers in my hair?
white-pink blooms o'er bridal chair?
what sort o' gown shall i wear?

push him harder, make sure there's no air

how about music in the yard?
[my cousin says poetry like a bard]
and name-places written on gilt-edged card?

he's struggling, push him hard

maybe a barbecue too, meat-on-the-grill,
aromatic salmon, seasoned with dill
let people eat what they want till their fill

that's seven minutes, he's finally still

and a milk side-dish, fish in lemon butter,
[the thought of it makes my heart flutter!]
and cucumber sandwiches with peanut butter

it's sawing-time, pass the electric cutter

we need plenty of drink to give extra zap
make sure the chairs have good nap
don't want them feeling like burlap

we'll put the pieces in plastic wrap

for the colour scheme, how about blue?
with a touch of violet and indigo hue?
want everything perfect for me and for you

this thigh is huge, cut it in two

i think we can rely on the Saudi sun
for the feast of the wedding, and all the fun
With Allah's grace, His will be done

burn it all, that's him done.

Behold on high, a palace tall,
Shimmering fire, ethereal wall,
Far above, in heavenly sphere,
Peace, tranquillity. All is clear.

Angelic lights beckon close,
Radiating energy, warmth, compose,
Awe and wonder fore celestial Soul
Loving kindness, life's true rose.

Beloved One, above and below,
Eternal kissing yon nightly glow,
Lift the curtain, remove Your veil,
Good God, guide us in our travail.

its girth was wide five hundred years
its arms stretched up to the skies
beneath its branches a world appears
with beasts and fish and flies

it brought succour for millions,
the strangers and civilians,
beneath its shade green grass blades
'twixt bluebells in the glade

its succulence gave cornucopia
luxurious utopia
full fruits of every variety
all bursting with vitality

fresh water flowed beneath its boughs
pure and sweet and clear
it quenched the thirst of young and old,
the far-flung and the near

and in its trunk lay secret gold,
a sawdust to be prized,
it housed the life of worlds untold,
within its bark disguised

one day with saw black hooded man
made one nick, a small 'un,
and from the midst of golden wood
flowed nectar bright and good

and man begot a friend
till nick became a chasm,
as they carried on the trend
with cold enthusiasm

from round about came small voice
telling them to quit
while they still had the choice
but they couldn't care a whit

it's only a small mark
we're making in the bark,
this tree will stand forever
no need to stop endeavour

and each year they sawed deeper
into the depths of tree
until one day they saw the reaper
rubbing hands with glee

with horror they did jump away
away from living tree
but now the trunk did wave and sway
it teetered dangerously

we'll do no more, we'll stop the cut,
they cried out in effusion,
but the case was closed, closed and shut
with no other conclusion

the tree came crashing down,
its leaves and boughs and branches,
no more did it wear its crown
no more its fruits advances

and darkness spread over the land
desolation for five hundred years,
abject misery fanned by hand
of those who cry no tears

shadow and aura
they're always there
whether in Torah
whether in prayer

occasionally the light
shines strong and bright
but oft times despair
spreads its black air

but most times they're both
fighting for troth
the sacred oath
stifled by growth

of shameful shadow
that blots out the sun
that blots out the marrow
of what's to be done

laziness thy name is known
thief of time, turns fire to stone,
you think you own me but this I own
that my true love is G-d alone.

if i could paint a landscape
i wonder what it would be
would i paint it light
a sun shining on the sea
or would the clouds be dark
threatening as can be
because all o' those emotions
are well mixed up in me
the trick of true devotion
is to single out a key
from all those different feelings
to enter Infinity
one feeling of the soul
if true, as true can be,
whether black as coal
or light and flying free
can be used to enter
a place that G-d calls me.

there is a language above the letters
composed of more than words
it knows not grammar or similar fetters
and flies on wings of birds

on eggshells i tread
scared of my shadow
with whisper and dread
skirt unknown meadow

Frightened to step inside
loose self in the flow
fright, in corner hide,
as spirit cries, 'let go '.

'let go of the reins,
forget the world,
laugh at the pains
of getting unfurled.'

'shake off the care
cut loose the cords
rise to the air
beyond human swords.'

what is a language?
human brain feeling its way
constricted by mere words

with ears aloft
claws like glass
pads silk-soft
she treads the grass

spies her prey
with laser vision
with last survey
makes decision

quick as lightning
bird is caught
caws are frightening
but all for naught

no more encore
for little robin
for he's no more
the cat's his coffin

and on the sod
as garnish'd cod
one feather lies
as proof of prize

Ashen yolk struggled to shine
Its effervescence clearly waned,
Now tired, cold, and weary,
its face worn and pained

Yet i knew in my heart it was here to stay,
to persevere regardless
it would watch the days pass away
and forever would light up the darkness

I look and think how fortunate
with gifts disproportionate
you must be,
life life with glee,
as happy as can be

Yet, if I were you, I'd know,
there's darkness in your glow,
you may glitter
I may be bitter,
but life for me is fitter

If I were you, I'd yearn
for others' gifts discern'd,
though outward spurn,
with no concern,
inward I would burn.

And though I know you look at me,
with eyes of bitter envy
if you were me,
you'd soon see
life's as good's can be

for each of us is gifted
from heaven we're assisted
as glove fits hand
as sea with sand
there's fairness in G-d's plan

So though I'm blind to intention,
If I aspire without question,
to do His Will
Life with thrill
My cup will overfill

kneeling on the carpet,
back to radiator,
heels against the parget,
wails 'gainst her hater,

for life, the gladiator,
mark'd her out as target,
the **** of aggravator,
the eye of senseless orbit

copious tears doleful shed
in lament of menopause
heavy heart and heavy head
vainly search for latent cause

as despondent dejection
spreads his grey-black wings
snuffs out flame o' resurrection
of hope of better things

soar sweet soul
as never before
let go of sorrow
of time and morrow

soar sweet spirit
soar higher still
and stay your visit
on heaven's hill

soar divine one
you've hardly begun
you are G-d's son
G-d's only one

that's you and I
we're made of sky
so embrace what's nigh
you'll never die

birds stopped their twitter,
grasshoppers, their chitter,
dragonflies, their mating,
air was ... anticipating,

'twas as if the world was slowing,
as the silence thickened,
'twas as if the gods were showing
as the music quickened

as darkness edged onto the stage,
spread its lonely wings,
as silver orb had come of age,
bit into the fiery ring.

favoured man with its fright,
savoured us with its blight,
age-old omen not lost its bite,
silver enchantment of the night

rhythmic patter
galloping hoofs
hypnotic natter
rain drops on roof

clippety-cloppety,
the stallions speed
full velocity,
as nature decreed,

faster and faster
wildness its master
swift pitter patter,
horse-shoes chatter

now rain has ceased
and so has the beast,
victorious equine
reached finish-line

it happened on the day 'fore last,
when all looked grey and overcast,
when suddenly, the sun, unasked,
shone. He'd smiled.

the teenage girl was locked in angst,
nervous, blues, 'n private cranks,
when all at once, she whispered, 'thanks'.
What? He'd smiled.

the wards were grey with peeling paint,
the old walls sighed with moan 'n plaint,
when inmate whispered, 'You're a saint!'
'Why?' 'You smiled.'

there was a time when colours ran deep,
when men lived in purpose,
when myth was more than little Bo Peep,
or a child's dinosaurumpus.

a time when matters mannered,
reflection of inner core,
before the world was shattered
and with it, the enchanted door

the ship has lost its anchor,
the captain's not to be seen,
sailors - blind - flounder,
humanity's in guillotine.

One
peal
of
laughter
              b r e a k s
                              i  n  t  o
                      ­                      a
                                         ­        t   h   o   u   s   a   n   d
                                                               ­                         r     a     y     s

of light, through crystal rafter,
dancing twixt the rainbow blaze

little did the unknown crafter
dream of such displays

in the beginning, the start of cause
time remembered to look at its watch
then time realised where he was
and scratched into space a nick or notch

and in that nick, or notch of time,
there began a world to hatch,
a world to strive for spirit prime
and all because of a tiny scratch

and in the end, time will look back
and think of the time before the watch
when there was nothing, none to lack
then he'll scratch out that nick or notch.

caress, to and fro,
'neath pier, beach o'erflow,
water to dust, heaven to earth,
sea tickles sand in laughter 'n mirth

rippling sunshine breaking on shore,
amid tidal whispers, amid tidal roar,
where the twain meet, each says, "i am yours",
two avid lovers behind closed doors