Horris:
When I was a lad I started a term
As junior clerk to a consultancy firm
But after four days, could work no more
So when no-one looked, I skipped to the door.

Chorus:
When no-one looked, he skipped to the door.

Horris:
I skipped that day with a step so free
That now I am Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Chorus:
He skipped that day with a step so free
That now he is Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Horris:
Through high connections of my family
I was given the post o' graduate trainee.
I wrote an article inventing a quote
And attributed it in earnest to a historian of note.

Chorus:
He attributed it in earnest to a historian of note.

Horris:
I lied so well, they rewarded me,
That now I am Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Chorus:
He lied so well, they rewarded he,
That now he is the Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Horris:
In being such a *** I made such a name
That a leading writer I soon became;
I wore scuffed collars and a hand-me-down suit
For the pass examination at the Institute.

Chorus:
For the pass examination at the Institute.

Horris:
That pass examination did so well for me,
That now I'm Prime Minister of this country!

Chorus:
That pass examination did so well for he,
That now he is Prime Minister of this country!

Horris:
Of journalism I acquired such a grip
That they took me into the partnership.
I used expletives when i got angry
And was accused of racism 'n bigotry

Chorus:
He was accused of racism 'n bigotry.

Horris:
But that kind of tree so suited me,
That now I am the Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Chorus:
That kind of tree so suited he,
That now he's the Head of the Queen's Ministry!

Horris:
I grew so rich that I was bent
to become a member of Parliament.
I was always schmoozing for my party's call,
And never thought of thinking for myself at all.

Chorus:
He never thought of thinking for himself at all.

Horris:
I thought so little, they rewarded me
By making me Head of the Conservative Party!

Chorus:
He thought so little, they rewarded he
By making him Head of the Conservative Party!

Horris:
Now young and old, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree,
[If your soul isn't fettered to keeping to the facts,
'N you're prepared to engage in questionable acts,]
If you've got few morals and can always keep your cool.
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Chorus:
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule.

Horris:
Just ride roughshod over all 'n sundry,
And you all may be Heads of the Queen's Tories!

Chorus:
Just ride roughshod over all 'n sundry,
And you all may be Heads of the Queen's Tories!

in the alley, in the dark,
there i heard the canine's bark
there in twilight's shades of grey
felt the fright of unleashed stray

heard his panting as he sped
heard his feet with fear 'n dread
felt his hunger for blood red
as 'lone i stood 'gainst half-bred

as all around world in abeyance
as i became his sole surveyance
as i eyed his hot/cold stare
ocular globes of headlights' glare

and in the days that followed yet
i lost the feel of fear and fret
for in that moment of captured fright
i'd stood on precipice of deathly bite

wouldnt it be nice in a world without a war
no more people dying no fighting any more
just  a world of love where we could live as one
living all in harmony all fighting would be gone

just a land of peace with a life thats free
in a world of love way that it should be
where we could live as one in each and every place
all across the universe in each and every place

500 or 504
"an error - we'll fix it asap"
well, i've stopped keeping score
of the ineptness of this app

"Uh oh, we encountered an error
making this page for you.
We've been notified of this terror
and we'll make it up to you"

"we'll wire you $100
for every minute you've wasted
for the anguish and the hollers
and the powerlessness you've tasted."

"we know how awful it is
to loose your work in a second,
the hard work, sweat and tears
when it's all computed 'n reckoned."

"We're sure £10,000 won't go amiss,
we've sent it to your account,
sorry we were disastrously remiss -
we hope you'll accept that amount."

Reality, my friends, can daunt,
so i shall daydream all i want
though i'd sooner be piggybacking a leviathan fish
i may still fantasise and wish!

in the song of robin and blackbird
Creator signs His Name
A name that can be seen and heard
by those who shun acclaim

in the work of scribe and artist
shines the inner being
in the music of drum or harpist
speaks the soul all-seeing

in the works o' nefarious schemer
in darkest destruction 'n death
in the silence that shouts like screamer
in absence of life-giving breath

walks the many-faced serpent schemer
for those with eyes to see
the signature of the anti-redeemer
antithesis of eternity

for every person stamps their name
in the deeds they do
igniting hellish fires 'n flame
or letting G-d shine through

so don't be flummoxed by this world
keep your eyes on your goal
for as cherry, almond, or walnut burled
your acts bespeak your soul

in the song of robin and blackbird
Creator signs His Name
A name that can be seen and heard
by those who shun acclaim

in the work of scribe and artist
shines the inner being
in the music of drum or harpist
speaks the soul all-seeing

in the works o' nefarious schemer
in dark destruction and death
in the silence that shouts like a screamer
in the absence of life-breath

walks the many-faced serpent schemer
for those with eyes to see
the signature of the anti-redeemer
antithesis of eternity

for every person stamps their name
in the deeds they do
igniting hellish fires 'n flame
or letting G-d shine through

so don't be flummoxed by this world
keep your eyes on your goal
for as cherry, almond, or walnut burled
your acts bespeak your soul