Beyond here there is a breathtaking sky
A thousand flowers cascading down rolling hills shining with the dew of the morning

Creatures of all kinds dance in the vast forests that stretch as far as the eye can see

A brooke whispers sweet nothings into the ear of a passerby, seducing them to stay a while more

Go and bask in the morning sunshine and let the wind breathe you in
Lie in the Earth and let in embrace you

I will go with you in spirit and there you may feel your soul reaching to the heavens,
But you were made to forge your own path here.

My heart is content with the guidance I have given, and at this very moment I must lay my head
And rest
And dream of the sweetness beyond.

I am not a player in the game
I could tell you exactly what moves to make
But with myself on the line I am blind

I let myself fall and I make bad decisions
I have tried and tried and come up empty
Every move that I make is impulsive

Maybe my place is on the sidelines, watching from a distance.
Maybe I’m meant to watch and listen.
I am a guide, I am not a leader.
I can show you where to go, but I have never been myself.
Maybe this is how I’m meant to be, and I’m okay with that.
But I can’t help but worry that I’m just too afraid to try and be the real me.

Dear me,
I hope one day you can wake up and take a breath without wanting to take a blade to your throat. I hope you can make it through a day without tears. I hope when you make plans with friends you don’t spend the whole night wondering if you mean anything to them at all. I hope you can find joy in your favorite things. More than anything, I hope that when you smile, you mean it. I don’t care if you have one friend of one million. I don’t care if you have one dollar or billions. I just hope that one day you can wake up without spending every moment wanting to end the life that God gave you.

Why do you write?
Can you dive deep into the intricacies woven into your Soul by piercing a vain and bleeding your pain into a sheet of paper?
Do you escape into a world where fears vaporize and nothing can destroy tranquility?

When I wake up with you I could wake up dead
When I wake up with him I want to see you
When I wake up with her I miss what you do
When I wake up with them I have nothing to say
But when I wake up alone, I have to pray.

All hope is gone I raise my hands.
I look up when there’s nothing else.
Shreds of fear shine down on me.
Block out my reality.
No will. No love. No blessings to count.
I’m tired of it. I’m done. I am out.

But when I die I’m going down.
I am no saint. I’m not heaven-bound.
Still I can not help but look.
I don’t see the grace or understand the book.

Only the lost can never be free.
I always look for you, but I have not found me.
Let me go and I will stay,
But I need space and need to pay

7 rhymes in my head
I drank and drank and went to bed
I showed you the path to take ahead
And you left without me.
6 rhymes in my mind
I found a love that was so blind
She taught me all about your kind
But it had me worried.
5 rhymes in my brain
I thought that I was numb to pain
Found sun again that turned to rain
It all went up in smoke.
4 more rhymes left unseen
I thought myself the one to clean
Not up not down but in between
But still I felt unfinished.
3 rhymes left to tell
One last thought went to hell
I found you there with none to tell
You were actually behind.
2 more rhymes two more times
Dollars dollars can’t make dimes
I lost the spirit lost the rhymes
And all was well again.
One last rhyme from me to you
You left me and you were untrue
And I am coming back for you
Not perfect but the best I can do.

Cold, fallen, asleep, dark
Asleep, numb, numb to the pain
Fallen down and given up, hopeless
Cold, stuck frozen solid
Dark, shadows fill the space around you

no one can understand. Does no one try?
You are the outcast
You see things differently
Close the door to the world before they turn their backs.
Don’t get up.
Sink below and go down, fall through the crack

They can’t see you

Do they want to?

Does the whole world exist and go against you?
It’s all in your head.
You’re crazy.
stop letting your mind go to dark places.

Is there love in the world?
Not for you.
Your heart is ugly, your mind broken.
Everything you touch turns cold.

Just relax.
Everything will be ok in the morning.

If you don’t wake up who is there to blame?
Forever asleep now,
The end that was supposed to be the beginning