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Lisa Mar 2019
4/4
can't quite remember but
sure it was sweet

on holiday
not sure if you meant it

spilled over cushions
drunk in...something
sympathetic reciprocity

horizontally tangled
post climactic tachycardic
my bad
Lisa Feb 2019
26
Another lap,
another lapse.

of judgment
restraint
volition.
Lisa Feb 2019
boiling over

not for everyone
barely for me

but it's fine
none of you are for me either

except one
first in four
maybe five

lucky him
lucky me
Lisa Feb 2019
Misery loves company,
but not mine.
It prefers the remote,
until it needs a distraction.
Craving the wrong things at the wrong time,
but how would I know -
my watch battery's been dead for two years.
It's for aesthetics,
wardrobe enhancement -
that hasn't been updated in four years.
I still haven't unwrapped my calendar,
but I can tell by the holes,
the loose strings,
unsightly armpit stains.
Seems inevitable,
overzealous sweat glands.
Botulinum toxin might remedy,
but leave a syringe for the black box -
she could use a three to six month break.
Lisa Jan 2019
Put here without permission,
but met with anger when I want to leave.'

Everyone's offended that it's not for me,
as if that says more about them than it does me.

Yet somehow I'm the selfish one,
the weak one, the dysregulated **** up.

If I could go back maybe I'd choose less stress,
something that made the other ******* seem less.

All I know is I can't stand to be here as is,
it's hard for me to get much done or feel much, that is.

Sure, occasional moments where I feel fine,
no longer longing for former highs.

But normally I'm searching for a crutch,
something to numb me or pick my mind up.

So don't ***** at me for considering a way out,
or cite reasons to stay that I don't care about.
Lisa Jan 2019
Always chasing, never satisfied.
Avoidance, my bittersweet adversary.
Shunning opportunity and it fuels contempt
for the now and then
for you
for me
for all of them.
Lisa Dec 2018
Remember the first time?
I do, like it was the last time.

I see us in every movie,
I read us on every page.

I felt you in a new guy once,
he was bigger, but a worse lay.

I remember you in bass and bars,
in nooks and grazed skin.

I look for you at skateboard parks,
in airports, pictures, and other men.

It's like my mind's wired around you,
and the synapses can't be pruned.
We're firing together,
and you're wrapped up in me too.
#g
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