screams.
oh the screams!
lurking in a place that I can't see.
tell me what you want!
I can feel you, but you are not visible to my naked eye.
cruel, oh you!
vallate acid creeps into my mouth
rip me apart, just do it already!
but instead you stay hidden, buried in time
I don't want to dig!
I must uncover you, slowly, piece by piece
You cut me!
The pieces tear my skin upon touch,
but my soul will not settle until the screams are gone.

the voices in my head
are screaming

the voices have no sound
but they have a physical power
a presence
that can't be ignored

I try not to listen
I tune them out
but they overcome me
and they become too strong

so I cave in
I do what they tell me
I destroy myself to please the noise

oh how silly am I

you can find me hiding
underneath the oak tree
further than the eye can see

thinking about how I'm not ready
how this can't be real
how there couldn't possibly be a you and me

yet here we are
and the memories resurface
of your arms wrapped tightly around my ribs
of your hand enlaced with my tiny fingers

I can't lie and say my thoughts are pure
Because many times I think things might not be right
That I’m not ready for this

my brain tells me I can’t ever love someone
that they could never love me in return

but then I move past all of the noise
and the memories resurface
of you sharing your bacon because you know its my favorite
of you carrying me when my legs have given out

Suddenly I am at peace
I reassure myself that this is right
and I know the thoughts will return
but for now, you can find me hiding under the oak tree
further than the eye can see

tell me again that I'm pretty
I like that
it rolls off your tongue
while the moon lights the sky
at the very moment the waves of sound meet my ears

at the very moment the waves of sound meet my ears
while the moon lights the sky
it rolls off your tongue
I like that
tell me again that I'm pretty

I feel like I'm stuck
but I've been conditioned to like it

to like the feeling of never being able to rest
never being able to let the wheel stop

so I run
I keep running
hoping silently that my legs won't give out beneath me
even though I know they will
im just not sure when

when I will become tired with the constructs
the grind of everyday life
the wheel that won't stop turning

they drift in and out
those that at once I thought I never could live with out
come and go?  
Maybe so
just tell me how I know

will they stay forever
in my heart? in my soul?

Never

So teach me how
to let them pass now
before I become attached
to something I know will never last

I keep staring at the water
wondering when the time will be
when all these thoughts
become too much
and I finally
decide

I keep staring at the water
wondering when the time will be
when I finally give up on these foolish hopes
these silly dreams

I keep staring at the water
wondering when I will feel its chill
breathe deep
and go