I have a crush
But I daren't let the world know

Born from within me
It will die within me.

How could you call me that
An introvert you say,
Just cause I don't talk to you
How crazy of you to think so?
My never ending blabber will surprise you
But it's not for you to listen to
My words and my voice are for the ones that's I want to share it with
For those who build that comfort wall around me
How do I speak to you,
When I feel so suffocated just sitting next to you?
My heart running miles and miles everytime you utter a word
My throat going dry and hands sweating tons
Now tell me is it my fault that I don't talk to you?
Is it my fault that you call me an introvert?

His grip so tight that it left marks on my skin,
that's been pale for as long as I can remember
Its now the darkest shade of red,
as dark as it can get.
I should probably be searching
for a way to escape, But here I am standing still
like a statue bearing all that pain,
unable to find my voice,
unable to regain my strength.

Why do all my poems sound like a cry for help?
Like iam so desperate for someone to come and save me
Is that normal
Or have I become abnormal?

It hurts when I breathe,
Like my lungs no longer wanna take air in
It's painful, it hurts, even when I lie down
Dark circles won't go away,
Pimples and acne just doesn't leave,
Legs ache, they gave up on me
Tummy growls, in hunger or anger I am yet to discover,
I am loosing hair, I am loosing my mind
Skin too dry, yet not dead
Most of all my heart feels too heavy,
Like my entire weight is balanced on that tiny little flesh smaller than the palm of my hand.

The longer it takes for you to fall,
Deeper will your fall be.

That's what I was for them,
a doll to play with,
a doll to throw away when unwanted
and take back when needed
I got angry,
they pretended to be nice,
I let them do what they like,
but again they made me the doll
Never was my feelings considered
What feelings could a doll have,
they might have thought
Not their fault cause I stood there,
for years being their doll,
even when I could have ran,
I didn't
But now I am going to,
I no longer will be the doll,
go find a new one to play with and throw around