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Marie Jun 2021
The love stayed
But the tone changed
I loved you anyways
I just loved you anyways
Marie May 2020
You see the parts of me
No one was meant to see
I can’t stop you
You see through me
Into the darkness and you still dwell
On me
Watch me flop on the floor
You lay next to me
The time moves too fast
When your next me
The room is always warm
When you look at me
You make me believe
I feel the honesty
The way you fit next to me
Every curve
Every finger tip
Feels like poetry
I circle the thoughts of your mystery
You mystify me
When I push you away
Your still close to me
When you push me away
I wait patiently
There’s no stopping
This pull
It’s our gravity
Made my heart beat again
Naturally
This gratitude has left your
Mark on me
For all to see
This you and me
Is the part of me
I never thought there’d be
And yet fits perfectly
And beautifully
With the worst of me and best of me
And was the missing piece
To make it all worth every ounce of misery
That brought you to me
Marie Dec 2019
I don’t feel good here
My skin is uneasy
Chest tight
Tired of pushing it deeper
Sick of speaking in whispers
If I loved you
If you were mine
Oh, I wanted it
Ached in the deepest parts
Especially at the start
Left it in the stars
Kept it in those parts
Then the pain dissolved those sticky parts
Started floating apart
If this love was breathing love
It would feel alive
If this love was beating love
It wouldn’t have to hide
The borders broke and everyone
Came inside
Like ink stains
Never really fade
The mark left
And I feel it on my chest
I don’t feel good here
And it’s almost over
Marie Apr 2019
let me give you some advice
Choose your girl
If she is acting crazy and insecure
Choose your girl
If she is crazy and out of control
Choose your girl
When the words want to cut her
Choose your girl
When you want to break her in two
Choose your girl
If you want the real forever kind of love
Choose your girl
Show your girl
Kiss your girl
Put her face in her hands until
She looks in your eyes
And breaks down and gives up
All the fight
Choose your girl
Marie Jul 2021
Come
Come lay with me
Tell me it will be okay
Like it was supposed to be
Come to me
Tell me you love me
It’s not a memory
It’s a meant to be
Put your hand in my hand
Let me put my face in your neck
Feel what you made of me
Limb on limb
Wrapped up in me
Like it was supposed to be
Pain for pain
Truth for truth
Marry me
I want to float you here
Next to me
Wrap up in you
Come to me
Ear on your chest
Your heart beat comforts me
If you can breathe I can breathe
Even if I can’t feel it on me
I know why you had to leave
But it doesn’t make sense to me
I just wanted it to be something that wasn’t meant for me
But it won’t stop me from imagining what it could be
If you’d just come to me
Marie Apr 2020
consequences
Inevitable
Unbearable
My choices
Brought them here
My heart is breaking
I knew it was coming
All that’s left here is nothing
Just consequences
Marie Apr 2019
Slowly
Finger tips tracing
down my hip
Teasing
Pull my hand behind my back
Bend me
Grab my hair and force my head back
Every inch comes alive
Run your toungue along my spine
Sweet agony
You take me
You savor me
I am your favorite flavor
Don’t stop tasting me
Prey on me
I pray for you
Honey
Sweet
Slow motion earthquake
Marie Jan 2020
When there’s a million screams
Surrounding you
When you hold it in
Until it’s drowning you
Just one quick slice to
Come back to you
Don’t judge the scars
Of the cutter
Emotions are just like
One another
Forgiveness and shame
**** each other
Marie Dec 2017
In the beginning your beauty is beyond compare
At first they smile and stare
Say the sweetest words and strip you bare
Dig you in deep
Make promises impossible to keep
Entwine your body into your story
Gently open the door to your secrets
Tell you they’ll keep it in raspy whispers
In your ear
And the bricks start to rattle and crack
And you fall a little
Letting the dust hit your back
Inevitably they see one crumble
And you think to yourself
Should I jump or stumble?
Underneath you already know what happens when they see below
the light and the darkness starts to show
Worthless words melt like snow
Swells the undertow
And takes it all far down below
Where it fades and crumbles the paper
It was built upon
And burns the rocks
That cool over time
To make the bricks
I stack
Until next time
Marie Jan 2020
We don’t see the world different
You just stopped seeing me
When I strained myself to hear you
You weren’t listening
When I made self feel your feelings
You lost feeling for me
If for just one second while you were shaming me
I wish you would have heard me
Saw what I see
Instead you pushed your own on me
I dealt with your insecurity
And smoothed it
You didn’t trust me
So I proved it
We made this mountain
Let’s move it
Nothings right without you
Come back to me
You turned your back on me
I let you into the places no else sees
And you abandoned me
I trusted you
Stupidly
Not going anywhere?
You were just using me
You were my best friend
Why can’t you even tell the truth to me?
That’s where are difference lies
In honesty
Marie Jan 2020
This passion
Makes me new again
Helps me learn some things
This love
Keeps my head right
Makes the pain light
This peace
Feels so bright
Seeing with new sight
Let it stay for a minute
Let me just keep this for a while
Lay back here
Chill and smile
Marie Oct 2018
Ages and aches
Bells ring and break
Past the history we made
Do you see me now
Tear off the leather
Thick like a cake
Onto the floor
Under the love that we make
Do you see me now
The difference is the same
Cut from this pattern
It has the same name
Do you see me now
Silence feeds gold ribbon
The body it shakes
Glass upon glass
That’s all it takes
Do you see me now
Under the pressure
Confidence remains
Fog up together
Unclear forever
Do you see me now
Marie Apr 2020
For every man who chipped away at me
For every man who broke off pieces of me
For every man who lied through his teeth
For every man who made me kneel at his feet
For every man who took something from me
For every man who used me
For every man who laid hands on me
For every man who made me cry myself to sleep
None are worse than the one who claimed he loved me
Marie Feb 2020
Everyone leaves
Everyone dies
Every heart breaks
One at a time
Marie Apr 2019
Finger trap
You wrap me
Smack.
You make me exactlly
Burn.
This passion inside me
React.
Cut me and Blinde me
Take it Back.
Finger running down my toungue
Say it Again.
Slide it all the way down inside me
Forgive me.
Marie Dec 2017
Yeah I like the rush
The pain behind your touch
Barb wire spikes scraping down my spine
Makes the hairs on my arms rise
Show me the scars and carve new ones to cover them
Take me so high I won’t come down again
Your adrenaline
My adrenaline
****** together
Keep in time
Keeps my heading spinning
Keeps my hips moving
It’s those shivers that keeps the blood pumping
Feel the burn from the inside
And know we’re on to something
Don’t stop oh God don’t stop
Roller coaster stomachs drop
There is no higher
We’re on top
Grab my hair wrap it in your fingers and pull straight back
Pull tighter hand to throat
Straight back
tie the ropes tighter no slack
Down to the places we are told not to go
These are the best kind
No safety inside
**** the beware sign
We can’t get past it fast enough
We like it slow and we like it rough
This terrain is more like speed
No longer a want
One hit has become need
Marie Jan 2018
Write it down
Bullet by bullet
How do you decribe slime
Crawling down your spine?
Is there a word beyond creep?
Catagorize dreading each day
On this yellow paper for them to see
To analyze and file away
What do you want me to say?
Marie Jan 2020
Yes it’s confusing
And I don’t know where are going
But can we just get naked?
I miss your hands on me
I know we both should move on
but I can’t think with all these clothes on
So can we just get naked?
Baby I will always melt for you
The way you move
How about we just get naked?
Marie Jan 2020
Impossible love
I want you
I know you do too
Impossible,  love
the impossible pain
the impossible pleasure
I pray to the gods we end up together
I am your prayer
I am your forgiveness
You are my paradise
You are my sin
Take a minute
Let that sink in
Impossible love
It’s possible, love
Hell or high-water
We are in the storm again
We can drowned for strangers
We can lie to ourselves
We can give into clay forms
Or carve our own names
We are one
And the same
Tell me it’s possible, love
I just want possible, love
Marie Apr 2019
Raw
You saw me
You stripped the skin off my body
Down to the floor
Skin blood muscles veins
Stripped down to the floor
Crawling back to you
This mind is mine
This mind is yours
Thoughts of you like viens
Strangle my brain
Slowly driven insane
This mind is yours
Squeeze them out again
These walls
These pictures
Your skin is still in the dust
And they are back again
Infest my mind
All you left here is bones
Blood viens
On the floor
Stained the carpet
No matter how long I lay here
Scabs don’t form
Raw
No eyes to see me
No fingers to fix me
Just your shadow teasing me
Plaster therapist
Spits my words back in echoes
And fades
Back to the floor
Marie Sep 2017
I miss you
I want you
I need you
I know what I'm good at
I know how to touch you
I know how to tease you
We have been together countless times
I could please you in the dark with my hands tied
But you don't want me anymore
Yet I still try
So I pulled some tricks and I saw another side
Gone was gentle
Gone was sweet
I saw your darkness and it made me cry
You take off yours clothes
Is this what you want?
In my head I'm terrified
What have I done
I just wanted to feel you one more time
But not like this
This isn't you
Your lips once soft are crushing me
Your eyes once filled with desire are burning an angry fire
Your hands once exploring are pushing and pulling me
I can't stop you
I miss you but this isn't you
I want you but your not here
I need you but this isn't fair
Your a stranger and you don't seem to care
Marie Sep 2019
Left in the road
Slow like honey
She wants to stay
The thought is a spirit
Ethereal
A fine form in body
I run my fingers on my lip
And it takes me
Breathing slows
Fire in the gut
Moves down low
My hand where your hand was
I want you to know
As you slide and swirl your finger
I *** in your hand
My bones leave
Like you leave
If you want me come get me
If I fight to stand
If I lick your hand
She will linger on your toungue
She will linger in your sleeve
Slow like honey
She wants to stay
Marie Mar 2018
Copious amounts in my mouth
Right now
This natural upheaval
Pushes back and forth
To sea level
Into the rush of the
Undercurrent
I scrape my back against flat
Sand castles
I’m dancing
This was my one chance
I’m not fighting
I’m floating
Pain feels nothing
Free feeling
I’m not leaving
I’m receiving
Peace is kneeling
Right now
Marie Jun 2018
There’s a vision here
crossed eyed nervous
gut feeling heavy
the level stays built up
carrying the moments up each
step
Into your bed
And undress
There’s a mess here
never really cleaned up
shuffled around to make it different
more pleasing to this eye
there’s something missing here
half in half out
and the hole I can’t fill
I try and I try to pretend it’s not there
But I want him
But I want you
Can’t have him
Can’t have you
The options are void
Turn into myself and I can’t give it to anyone
Find the door and run
Into nothing
Can’t be alone
Can’t go home
Can’t survive here
Can’t survive in this moment or the one coming
Let the rain hit the roof and think
What am I doing here?
What am I doing here
M.
Marie Jan 2018
M.
When you touch me
you feel me
Dig deep
to the real me
See what others cannot see
Press your body against me
Given over completely
and sweetly
into the depths and uniquely
If you need a rhythm to keep time to
Leave tomorrow... and I’ll find you
Melt from the center
Kept in line too
I won’t use your power against you
I will find a new feeling... to dig into
I knew from the moment I cling to
That this is a rhythm to keep time to
Slow underwater vibe to sing to
Too good
Still true

-
Marie Jan 2018
You pulled the blanket down
You see me now
Or at least the flesh
The outside is a mess
But inside I’m undressed
And waiting
Waiting for the show to end
Isn’t all of it just pretend
I am so sick of your planted face
The words that all sound the same
No matter how many
No matter what age or race or how many digets are in the bank
It all remains the same
The lines slightly varied
The moves slightly varied
The *** slightly varied
I should have stayed married.
Marie May 2020
I’m not *****
You’re not worth seeing
I love you
You don’t know what love is
I love you
listen you dumb *****
I love you
You are a *****
I love you
I don’t want no lying *** ****
I love you
You’re a ***** nasty disgusting ****
I love you
Marie Jan 2020
I have never felt so strong
My personal love song
Into yours depths I sink and swim
My heart longs and breaks and yearns
For only you
My love, oblivion
You pull me close and I can’t resist
I can’t get enough of this
Marie Feb 2020
Baby it’s natural
Touch me slow
**** the room
Make me cheer for you
It’s natural
When the tempo slows
Heart beats faster
All my hairs stand on end
Touch me again
**** me again
Make me dream again
Tell me I’m me again
Baby it’s natural
Marie Oct 2018
Don’t send it
Don’t send it
It’s a trap
The reaction is how you react
This end is how you don’t come back
There is no peace here
There is no self respect
The power is your will
And what they won’t expect
Turn a new table, a new leaf
Take a leaf from the table
Remove the seat
Smaller isn’t less complete
What you need to see is underneath
It’s at your feet
Keep still here
Keep still here
Look from this place
Your mind locked on the right face
Put a blanket over the clocks
There’s no time
You know what’s on the line
Don’t answer
There’s no answers here
Just lies
Take it in
Take it in stride
If you release
Then your released
You had to see how
You watched it all fall
You watched it all tangle
You held it up against its will
You strained yourself
You distained yourself
Felt your defeat
And when yours eyes strained out of your
God ****** mind  
From below, you saw a new angle
And from this place, maybe
Just maybe
You’ll stand on your feet
Marie Jan 2018
I would crawl through fields of glass forever for one night when I was yours and you were mine

You can break my bones one by one
Just to have one more night

Slice my skin up and down
Just to feel you inside

The pain doesn’t scare me
I invite it
A distraction from what’s inside me
Anything is better than lying on this floor
Writhing

Screaming your name until my voice breaks
Replaying every moment until
I am there like hallucinations
I have cut off communications
It’s not you
And if it’s not you it's nothing

So run my fingers down the cracks
Tell you I love you take me back
There’s only that
Marie Jan 2018
There’s a puzzle on the floor with pieces old and worn
If you force them
You break them
Gently so they barely know
It’s the only way to keep the hold
Under the floor the webs still lie
And hold the things that we’ll deny
And stay there until we find the time
To clear away the mess
And though it takes some time
To make sure every corners clear
Spending time below is the only way to cleanse the fear
And the dust and ghosts we have pushed down there for all these years

Then you can climb out and feel the peace in the pieces
The picture is clear through the tattered edges and center creases
Because you can pull back and see the wider view
And realize the pieces are what make you
Marie Mar 2019
Lies
The lies are killing me
The secrets
Take the best of me
Keep them buried with the rest of me
You see the worst
That’s what you want to see
Hidden behind ego
You are afraid of me
You know the power lies in me
And I can make them see
Your secrets
My secrets
I would tell you they are safe with me
But the strain in your veins
Makes you feel like me
So I will just sit here quietly
Sighing quietly
Looking up at me
Marie Apr 2019
If I’m crazy
You made me
If I am a child
You didn’t raise me
Calling me a liar
Doesn’t phase me
I caught the disease
From the toungue
That licked me up and down
Like a cone melting
You say I changed
No, you killed me
Reborn
Crawled up off the floor
And kept going
You can keep stabbing
And pushing me down
But here I go popping back up
Like the ******* inflatable clown
It doesn’t matter what you do when I’m
Gone
You can’t hurt me anymore
That blood on the floor?
It’s just melted jello and I am licking it up
With a smile on my face
Asking for more
So dig deep
Take your best shot
Blow after blow
I have a secret you don’t know
I am you
Your body
Your soul
When you killed me
It was suicide
Wash your pride down with
Formaldehyde
When you speak to me
Put a mirror on my face
You am I kidding?
You still won’t see
You see want you want to see
But
You sure as **** don’t see me
Marie Mar 2021
Tell me the secrets you hide
Push away your ego
Let me inside
The dark ***** things you buried deep down
Breath deep and let them out
Marie May 2020
broken plus broken
The pieces felt perfect
And natural and beautiful
They kept falling apart
We tried so ******* hard
But we couldn’t make us sturdy
And we would crumble when the foundation shook slightly
The pieces scattered
Reflecting the light
We couldn’t keep still
Long enough to see
Through our darkness
We shattered beautifully  
You made us mess of me
You got the best of me
We shattered so ******* beautifully
Marie Jul 31
I fell in love with you sideways
Stumbling through
Blurry vision
But I saw you
I couldn’t walk
so I crawled to you
Into your arms
I was drawn to you
The only place where time moved fast
I tried to keep steady
I clawed into you
Covered my face in your chest
But I saw you
It took all my strength
I gave into you
Shattered to pieces
Picked them up for you
Stood up straight
Got back on my knees for you
Couldn’t face myself
But I saw you
Marie Jan 2020
Okay
Time apart
We can waste some time
It won’t be long
We belong
Marie Jan 2020
Lay down baby
Cut
Don’t worry honey
Stab
I am not going anywhere darling
Slice
I love you beautiful
Mutilate
Marie Sep 2017
I sit, shaking
Wanting to run
I know the answers to the questions on your clipboard
But the words won't come
This is the vessel to better
They said
But how do I give form to the demons and ghosts that live in my head?
How I yearn to die
But I have to survive
For them
Your words swirl and vibrate the floor
I tell you something but you want more
The abuse and feeling small
And how I went years without feeling at all
I did things to push everyone away
I knew when they knew the truth they would just look at me in that way
Pity and fake understanding
And when you see true darkness it makes itself stay
I want to get better
But how do you  
When you have never been okay?
Marie Sep 2017
Into the fire
Through the ash
The cancer has spread
Into the past
Let it run like the river
Down down
The time is now
Hot like a fever
Chilled to the bone
Direction uncertain
Future unknown
Let it burn like a fire
Let it burn to the ground
The time is now
Sleep with the devil
Bathe in the light
Keep the ground below you
Be one with the night
Let it fall like the rain
Let it baptize the pain
The time is now
Marie Jan 2019
I can’t leave this room.
Our hand prints are still on the wall
In the corner where we made love
I am still married to your ghost here.
The ceiling I looked at laying in your arms
Dreaming of the years to come
Your hands on my stomach feeling our baby move
The box on the shelf of our memories
My prom dress hangs in the closet
When you thought I was beautiful
I talk to you here
These walls watched us be in love for so many years
Your soft snores and staring at you while you slept
Our love is still alive here
It breathes
The air is thick in this small space
The mirror where I saw our reflection
Feeling safe and loved next to you
I can’t leave this room
Aside from the faces of our babies
It’s all I have left of you
Marie Aug 2019
The thorns are gone
Nothing to hold onto now
Let your fingers slide down smooth sides
And her slip out of your fingertips
She falls to the ground
Like nothing
You keep going
But your missing something
You don’t look back but you want to
There’s beauty ahead
Don’t think about her
She’s nothing
Just focus
There’s flowers everywhere
In fields and in windows
Real and plastic
Endless and exotic and hypnotic
As you look and your pupils expand
With Wild imagination and anticipation
You find the perfect one
And it ends as it began
The joy and the glow
And you finally know
How to hold onto this one
And not let go
If you hold her in the right places
Despite the thorns she shows
Marie Sep 2017
Tree tops
Are you lonely?
Do you long for someone to climb high enough to touch you?
You see things no one else can
You feel the heat and take the brunt of every rain drop
The wind thrashes you wildly
Yet your so beautiful
You look just as strong
Yet the first to be cut down
Where do you get your strength?
Marie Jan 2020
Truth always comes to light
Just give it a minute
No one is faithful
Loyalty drought
You need to understand what I
Am about
I will flip that switch
That’s it
I’m a bad *****
You are gone now
Never get it back
Block and delete
And I look good doing it
And I feel good doing it
They always try to come back to a good thing
You know I am just gonna let it ring
Marie Feb 2020
Take the walls and break them
She wants you to
Hold her down
She’s asking you
Just listen
Maybe she’s a little broken
But not begging you
you can Stay awhile
If you could
Just listen
She just wants to be understood
Her language
Learn it
Her body
Take a minute to unearth it
Her heart wants to be in it
She’s ready
Just listen
Marie Sep 2017
Red Bottom Line

Cement for a head
Sealed up just right
To feel the weight of the mind
To keep nothing in sight
Tell me I'm wrong
Tell me what I need to be strong
They are looking to me
To find a way to stand
A way to pick up the weight and carry them out
But I can't see
You took my ability
Dark heavy night after
Dark heavy night
I will look for a light
I will look for a sign
I will look for anything to draw me in and pull me out
From this red bottom line
Marie Mar 2018
Pin me
Take me
Bend twist and break me
Make me take the old theme
Destroy it and destroy me
Show me that I’m ready
**** me nice and steady
Hold me into the position
Shut me up and make me listen
Don’t make this a decision
I want to bathe inside your prison
**** the voice of my own description
Break me out of my incision
Boundaries left in pieces as
Your mouth makes brand new vices
Inside me finding that I’m choiceless
Defensive moves are pointless
I return to you defenseless
I’m restless
Don’t try to read the message
Just let this mess get messy
Into the craving
This is lust worth saving
Marie Nov 2019
Even when I say it
The words feel numb
Fall out of my mouth
Waiting for it to come
Just silence
And nothing
Lay in your scent
Empty
I want to find the feeling
Anything but not good enough
Not enough for you to stay
Not going anywhere
But not going to stay
You put thoughts in my head
Like you know me so well
I can’t look at you because
You know me so well
I know that you want to stay
You know I can’t let you
No matter how much I want it
No matter how much I won’t forget you
Even soul mates lose their way
Destroy their own souls to
Keep certain demons away
I can tempt you to touch me
I can keep you tonight
Nothing really lasts
Not even the fight
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