Who are you and why? 

And why do you like to pry? 

Your way into those helpless and vulnerable.

Remember those rolling hills we once stood above, now mudslides of regret and lost hope for what once was. 

You’re a wreck.
But now I am too.. all special thanks to you.

They say opposites attract, but then again, I guess that was never actually fact.

I’m a soft rubber ball that bounces away from the bad, and you’re a sharp pin pricking those who come close and it’s sad.

Those gentle souls you desecrated out of your own will to manipulate. 
May they be in the back of your mind always, to torture you while you contemplate. 

I hope some day regret washes over you, as your ego dies and you become whole again, new.

Then, maybe you’d be incapable of inflicting pain on those who hoped to love you, and finally stop causing chaos and spread love in lieu.

The first time I saw you, was the birth of the goosebumps my skin raises today
I have never known a moment like when it hit me, I would take lessons to speak your heart language.
This world is not meant for the weak, but I’m meant for the times my knees lose strength around you.
When I call you at night, you tell me about work, about your workmates.
I have never been to your workplace but I picture how you sit, where you sit,
and sometimes, the shoe you’re wearing.
I have been struggling to know exactly how you feel about me.
I want to know you inside out,
know where you hang your clothes so I can see the labels you hide on you.
I know you go to church on Saturdays
but are you a front row or back row kinda girl?
When no one is watching,
do you secretly dance in the kitchen?
And have you ever been with a boy so shy
the only way he could corner a queen is if he had a chess board in front of him
See, for many years this ship has sailed
This is the first time in a long time I’m stuck at the dock-
This captain, this ship,
this sea beneath me betrayed by your waves
I’m not moving and it only makes sense;
I have fallen for someone who lifts me.
We cropped a photo to be together and it still feels right
You asked me the difference between dating and being in a relationship
so before you ask me about love
I will tell you what my grandmother would say;
to love, is to have the courage to be kind,
there is no fairytale in a real world,
no prince charming in ponds, just frogs whose skin will make you sick to the stomach.
But if you ask me to describe you,
then I will tell you…
I think you are intimidatingly strange
and crazily stunning
any girl who asks for my heart will not appreciate that you signed your name on it
or that you found the edge of my soul, folded it into pages and filled it with your handwriting.
I have known fire to burn and I’ve known you to be a flame because it is hot in here
and if my heart is not a clown for you then how do you explain the circus in here?
But tell me about broken parts.
Tell me who to blame if you don’t feel exactly how I feel about you.
Tell me how many mechanics have worked on hearts that stopped when you said no to
and do they work anymore?
Tell me why it’s taking you too long to learn how to lay your head on my chest
or don’t you like how my heart misses beats for you
Tell me how to know I’m the one when you look at me because I feel light in my head I can let you carry me with your stare.
Tell me to wait,
and I will wait for you
I’m not saying there’s no one like you
I’m telling you today,
I will fall for you just as hard,
10 years from now.

I wish I was inspired instead of tired
I just want to write something beautiful
But no feelings seem to be there
So devoid
Life is putting me in a place where numbing me is better than feeling anything
I'm dead inside and it only gets worse
I'm pessimistic
Rehearsing my smile so that when I go out I don't seem depressed
All I've been is stressed
But then I get empty and start not to care
My innocence tainted
My hope disintegrated
My heart a black void
I don't need love and I don't need that boy
I don't need my friends and I don't need him
I've been all alone persevering
Some how I find it in me to still fake it and no matter how much I hate it it's just apart of routine
I won't stop til everything is in shambles
Is my happiness a lot to gamble
Not really it only last for a second
What is life without risk
My life was never something
No one would notice if I was gone
You just keep moving on
I wish I was inspired instead of tired
I just can't sleep
Can't seem to function as good as I used to
I haven't felt true happiness for some time
I'm starting to forget what the moonlight looks like cause I'm always in darkness
I just want to write something beautiful
But nothing ever seems to be enough
Maybe if instead of being about sadness, if I made it love
It would bring tears to the eye
Maybe instead of being about masks and pretending
If I made it about blue skies and sunshine
Maybe if I made it seem dandy it would spark emotional things
But I don't feel that way
I'd only be writing lies
Can't you see the beauty in darkness like I do?
Maybe, maybe not
Everything isn't as it seems
Golden glitter
It's sparkling
But I don't do arts and crafts
I prefer black ink

Maybe it wasn't the drugs, or the red headed devil dancing on your spine that convinced you I was no good.
Maybe it was just my delivery, the way desperation spilled out of my ears, a little too dedicated to understanding, that made me seem less delicate.
I saw it coming, it was just a matter of time until desolation sunk in again and forced my aesthetic to be destruction.
There's a disconnect, sometimes, the sound waves don't hit eardrums quite right.
And sometimes, they're just a little too loud.
It's okay to turn the volume down.
But the music doesn't cease just because it's softer.
And it doesn't any hurt less just because it happens more often.

Is it that bad to love someone you can't have
No wonder I'm dressed in all black

The death of my love
I always fall for the lost ones
I attract what I am
And bam it's magical

Were like an explosion of galaxies
And once everything is at peace an asteroid strikes
I tried to hold on but I'm only burned by the light

So gravity pulls us different ways
Floating around in space

Of course I'm dressed in all black
You skin the goat
I'll gut the cat

I want you back
But you are something I can't have

My mind, my soul, my intuition was dead,
Woke up this morning and found a letter that read;
‘I rise, in the depth of solitude I am who I am,
In the spirit of humility I am who I am,
In the spirit of togetherness I am, Nelson Mandela.
In the face of revolution I am Dedan Kimathi,
In the wake of National Pride, I am Kenyan,
I am Bantu by Origin,
and in the face of love, I am weak.’
A letter written by me, for me!!!
Before being human, I am POET,
I strive to lead within the legion of wits,
To dissent decency and embrace love,
I cry for my people,
I serenade my fear to give birth to courage,
Fuse language and my soul in this verbal marriage,
I shine when gloomy,
I blend in when glowing…
I heed to the untold tale,
and when on stage,
I need to unfold a spell,
That cultivates in the mind,
These words are but a feeble extension of my might,
I say what I want to say and you listen,
You applaud,
I do not want your claps,
I don’t want your cheers,
I want you to listen,
I am sharing myself here,
I am telling you my painful secrets,
Letting you feel my joy…
Can you hear my silence?
Do you see my memory?
I have stripped myself bare for you,
I have swallowed my pride and I am struggling with constipation,
Hi there beautiful young lady,
Do you like what you see?
Are these words an extension of my skin?
For even when naked, I still hide an aura of mystery.
When you make love to more than one person,
Every moan bleeds poetry,
Every touch aches for a punch line,
Every ****** begs for a harder ******,
and when your eyes roll back,
and you splash your words on the walls of their minds,
Every skin begs to cuddle with your lyrical prowess,
I turn a blind eye to social injustice,
Yet I pray my people are treated well,
Do not look at me with that suspicious eye,
You don’t know who I am,
I did not bomb your brother,
I do not fight for any terrorist group,
I am not a representation of a stereotype,
You cannot blame me yet I fear just like you,
Hurt just like you,
I hide from the jaws of terror just like you,
You struggle to understand me,
I understand you,
In the face of fear, you know no human,
Your eye sees only who it suspects is friend or foe,
I understand you because I know,
On the third blow of the trumpet,
Even the son will abandon his mother…
Why judge me for the shade of my skin,
Texture of my hair????
I am who I am.
I love those who love me back,
In the dark caves of solitude,
Hidden on the platters of eternal euphoria,
I then found a loving embrace,

So I march on clinging to what I don’t understand,
Get confused by what I strive to understand,
Stand under my weak heart,
What attracts me I don’t know?
We find beauty in non-existent things,
Show me beauty and I will give you the flowers when you can still smell them.

I still rise,
For I am who I am,
A son who loves his mother,
Is driven by ambition,
Even Grisham knows,
it is past the time to ****,
onto the time to heal,
You do not need to understand this painless persona,
My words are my impractical scheme for social improvement,
I do not curse,
Because when it hurts so badly, humans’ mistake the truth for profanity …
I have hit my poetic falsetto,
I spill the last few drops of this ink…
I live you with this poem,
A temporary forever,
You do not need to understand this hopeless persona,
You don’t see the poem. It was not written for your feeble intellect.
I take center stage,
My words, my halo,
I speak,
I speak because I exist,
I said I speak because I exist,
You will always find me next to your conscience,
My words echo, my rants roar,
My whispers soothe, my cry begs for your embrace,
I sing to fallen angels,
I am who I am,
I speak because I exist,
Before I exist, I am POET

I let the pain ooze through my veins,
To scribble words of shame,
Unto the forgotten scriptures of love,
Corroding my tissues,
Letting the rain wash away hope,
Of my dreams.

Let the bad guys forever taste the tasty fruits of the garden Eden,
Let the good guys taste the fruits of their tools of labour,
Let the reckless women get devoured past the gates of Hades,
Let the lucky women joke on the privileged embrace of appreciation.
Let hearts ache let wounds heal,
Let the moon hum the soothing tunes of despair,
Looping the rhythm of empty souls,
Let the stars swing their hips lustfully,
Let the earth weep and swallow its trickling tears,
Let the calendars roll back to thoughtful years,
Before I confess my feelings again…
To you, and you, and you!!!

I am hurt, I am lost, I am banished,
My story told is etched in stones of lithography,
There is no memories of yesterday, no longings of tomorrow,
******* son of the plains,
Poetry… My Heritage,
Your lips,
Architect of my pedigree,
Your tongue… Forbidden,
Your scent… alluring,
Your breath…. Distracting,
Your heart, echoing with every beat,
Your sweat, moist, I imagine it, salty.
You say, ‘Don’t kiss me’, I do,
You kiss back, you stop, I kiss again… You cringe!!!
I am hurt, I am lost, I am banished.

You always tell me that actions speak louder than words,
So I tried to mime dance my feelings,
I tried to explain that this is real but you put up Van Gogh’s ear and stared at the ceiling,
It’s killing, me inside, it is sealing me to my pride, its drilling me despite…,
My strength, my character!

I am a DJ and the moon is my deck,
Spinning the world.
I am a pale face, the stars, my ornaments,
I am a gladiator sent to the afterlife,
This crust my home,
I am the waters: Your photographer, endlessly capturing your reflection,
You easily now see why I mean it when I say,
‘You mean the World to me’
I am hurt, I am lost, I am banished.

Let the rivers glide across the mountains of ***** men,
Past the forests of ****** misgivings,
Past the fateful decisions, humans call choice,
Between the thighs of Athena,
Into the vaginal walls of pleasurable gains.
And I will be here waiting…
I am hurt, I am lost, I am banished.

I seek solace, on the tip of cupid’s arrow,
He is aiming for your chest,
I seek to land on your heart,
Swim in your arteries,
Seek refuge in your brain,
Jogging, panting.
Now feel how I feel when you are always running in my mind.
You ask me to take a walk in your shoes,
I can’t even tie my laces,
You are a rare blossoming flower,
I can’t even hold you like vases,
I wear my heart on my sleeves,
For protection.

I feel like the foetus aware it will be aborted,
Because I am dying inside,
SAVE ME!