im to be pitifully joyous
for the life ive been given
to be ecstatically happy
given my lot
i should look to my betters
give them my fealty
respect my elders
give them what ive got

come to me
I await you bated
willingly
take what is yours my queen
take me into you
slathering
gibbering
in that way that you make me do
make my mouth yours to please
grace my lips with one of your many names
so that I may cry out in idolatrous exaltation
and in the vicious debasement of curs
that is the tongue of my lust for you

of exalted larks and white lilies
whence she came
her beauty dazzles
hence for a jewel she is named
to glance at this vision
to try not to look away
is to fear being blinded
if she smiles as she gives you your change

As I looked into your eyes
I knew something was wrong
And then you said goodbye
We had been together too long

You said you didn't feel for me
The same way I did for you
And after years of our love
We were actually through

I said you won't go
You said you can't stay
But how was I supposed to know
It would all end that day

I told you how much I would miss
Each and every day
And that was when we kissed
And you turned and walked away.

It used to frighten me
as a young farm worker
that the bull would break out.

I would take my blanket
and in practice play
the matador’s moves

It was my way
of countering my fears
of a horned charge in the night.

It never came
but being ever ready
I slept always on guard.

TOBIAS