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we planned to meet
but were both too busy
and could not find
a convenient time

now we are in lockdown
and I do not know
when we are allowed
to meet again

I am sad and wonder
if it was wise
to choose being busy
over seeing a friend
work has paralysed
and silenced me
again
a never ending
cycle of defeat
she sings
she dances
she smiles
as she has heard
from her friend again

she cooks
she bakes
she makes coffee
as he will visit her
later today

she remembers
she dreams
she imagines
as she is looking forward
to listen to his voice again
You say:
I do not want you to change
how you write
because I or anyone else is a reader

I say:
I want you to change
how you read
because your mind expresses concerns
your heart would not know
She did not laugh at me
when I asked her
how to use her paints.

Try with a little water
she quietly said
and carried on painting.
as I do not understand
what you want me to do
I decided to do
what I want to do
I came
because you are
from my country

I came
because I love
the sound of the cello

I came
because I needed
inspiration
They feel sorry for me
Because in their eyes
I am a woman
Who has been thrown away
By her husband

What they do not see however
Is that I have picked myself up
And I am now free
To welcome the man
Who deserves me
freedom is priceless you say
and yet you are longing
to exchange your freedom
for the love of a man
who does not deserve you
I hate you!
I love you!

I hate you!
I love you!

I hate you!
I love you!

I hate you!
I love you!

When will their game end?
would you get married again
he asks

only if I can fully trust him
she replies
oh happy day
she sings
and arranges
the yellow flowers
in the pretty glass vase
next she sets the table
two cups and two plates
cutlery and serviettes
a jug of milk and a bowl of sugar
a teapot and the cake
that she has baked
especially for today
I have some news
the young man said
before he left the room.
Since yesterday I have
a girlfriend.
His smile was warm
and I could see
how happy and content he was.
Imagining him walking
with his girlfriend
made me forget my worries
and I began to smile again.
give me five minutes
he said
and left the room

five years later
I am still waiting
for his return
I like walking down the streets
when it is dark
and every lit up window
tells a different story

here lives the young couple
who are having their dinner
every night at the same time
they both seem to work long hours

in this room a family
watches television
they do the same every day
nothing seems to disturb their rhythm

through this window
I can see a little boy playing with his train
he smiles and watches the carriages
going past fast and purposeful

here an old couple lives
they sit quietly on the sofa
they do not speak
and seem to listen to music

this is the window
that is always dark
I wonder if nobody lives here
or whether they work during the night

now I can see my window
which is brightly lit up
my black cat is sitting on the table
waiting for me to come home
she does not like
going to bed

every night she worries
about tomorrow
and these worries
create her dreams
frightening dreams
that make her heart race
and her soul weep

it is evening again
and she begins to worry
about tomorrow
and does not want
to go to bed
“Good Morning!”
She smiles.

“Good Morning!”
He frowns, irritated that
he was disturbed when tweeting.
she looks at
the vivid sunset
and realises
that him leaving her
was a good outcome
green leaves
bring hope and joy
signs of renewal
and pleasures to come
every morning
she makes coffee

carefully grinding the beans
has become a ritual
time spent in meditation
on a journey she had not expected

when there are no beans left
in the grinder
she sighs
as reality has caught up with her
Walking through the park
Watching children running past
Sunrays kiss my face
dark and sleepless night
rain and storm keep me awake
when will darkness end
Darkness mixed with lights
Busy harbour full of life
Should I follow you
swallows flying low
red sky and mighty mountains
calmness now brings love
bees and butterflies
sunflowers and lavender
happy memories
dark clouds and thunder
heavy rain and ice cold wind
hope for something new
walking down the streets
many people here today
searching for their dreams
deep and green water
seagulls floating quietly
who will make me smile
looking at the moon
gentle darkness and some light
a sense of calmness
white, pink and grey clouds
chestnuts falling from the tree
restless is my soul
shapes, lines and textures
yellow, blue and red brush strokes
happiness for me
you have left this world
sad and mournful are my thoughts
raindrops cool my face
red and yellow leaves
geese and swallows flying home
time for me to go
morning sun so bright
blue sky, no clouds and cold wind
high expectations
a snake of red lights
leaves are scattered on the street
when will I get home
snow and fog and storm
days are getting shorter now
what will winter bring
trees covered in snow
fleeting images of peace
stillness, hope and warmth
old Japanese pots
mossy lanterns in the woods
calm is now my mind
warm light of candles
heavy smell of cinnamon
here is home for me
hot and orange flames
crackling sound of burning logs
contentment and warmth
flowers and chocolates
dinner in candlelit room
happiness and love
white mountains and trees
bright sunshine, calmness and peace
contemplative mind
Seagulls gliding past
Golden sunrays touch the sea
Mournful weeps my soul
sitting at the desk
writing poetry again
smiling and relaxed
bright sun and warm air
green lake surrounded by trees
never ending joy
hot air and no wind
burning sunshine everywhere
there is no escape
walking through the woods
autumn leaves are everywhere
summer is a thought
yellow and red leaves
misty mornings greeting me
quiet is my mind
fog and weeping sky
dancing red and yellow leaves
fleeting happiness
golden moon and stars
cats are out on nightly walks
dreams of warmth and love
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