hug
kiss
smile

she sits on the floor
crosslegged
trying to calm
her mind
as she cannot decide
whether she really
is a poet
or just imagining
to be a poet

why are you
going part-time
she asks
not being able
to understand
my decision

I smile at her
as I explain
that I want
to have time
to do work
I believe in

she looked
at him
undecided
and scared

jump
he said
with a smile
if you decide
to follow
your dreams
everything
will fall into place

she looked
at him again
saw his
deep love
for her
and jumped

you have to find
your own voice
he said to me
but he did not tell me
where to start looking

she looks at him
and wonders
if helping him
would also
destroy him

cold and icy field
wintry roads and snowy hills
bleak and sorrow mind

I have a room with a view:
busy London street,
white and red lights
of cars rushing past,
magnificent church
hidden behind trees,
a couple passing by
holding hands
deeply immersed
in conversation.

I wonder if the moon in your place
is as big and bright as here in London.

every morning
she makes coffee

carefully grinding the beans
has become a ritual
time spent in meditation
on a journey she had not expected

when there are no beans left
in the grinder
she sighs
as reality has caught up with her

forest
calmness
inspiration

sometimes
I am not sure
whether I am
coming or going
succeeding or failing
creating or destroying
supporting or opposing
agreeing or contradicting
loving or hating

I listen
to his words
searching
for meaning
until
I realise
that his words
have lost
their meaning
for me

red sun, misty sky,
smell of earth and evergreen,
vast uncertainty

she thinks
she is astonished
she wonders
how could she
have forgotten
that happiness
you do not find
but create

she smiles
she stands up
tall
strong
fearless
determined
and begins
to create

rain
sunshine
change

I follow you
to the end
of the world
she said

but I am
not going there
he responded
and walked away

I am sad
that I cannot be
where you are
although
I understand
why I am excluded

how does one
get out of
this mess
she asks

I do not
know
I answer

stop
breathe
restart

sleep
dream
relax

the sound of your cello
touches me
and sends shivers
down my spine
it is electrifying
and promises so much
and increases my desire
to rest in your arms

I look at her
and realize
that she cannot decide
when it is appropriate
to stop supporting others
and begin supporting herself

I see
you smile
when you
talk to
your cat

I sense
your joy
when you
look into
her eyes

I feel
your love
when you
gently call
her name

I wonder
why I never
see you
talking to people
with so much
passion and joy

the song of the nightingale
touches my soul
so hauntingly
beautiful and magical
but also full of sorrow
reminding me
that nightingales
will soon be silent forever

why was he
allowed to do the project
but I was not

why was he
given the job
but I was not

why does he
live in a big house
but I do not

why do I
not want to know
the answers
to these questions

I am sitting
in the shadow
of the old eucalyptus tree
admiring its silvery leaves

When will you come
and sit next to me
in the magic
of the ancient tree

high
low
yo-yo

bright moon on black sky
cold winter night and white snow
longing for your love

yesterday
pain

today
pain

tomorrow
the same

I watch her mixing colours
carefully thoughtfully
deliberately
red yellow and blue
a rainbow emerges
flowers and mountains
desires and dreams
of a person forgotten
and hurt by him
who has no right
to make her suffer.

what does it mean
when a man says
I love you
the little girl asks

it is meaningless
her mother replies

What is the difference
between a good person and a bad person
the little girl asks.

You will know when you have grown up
her mother answers.

And when will I know
that I have grown up
the little girl asks.

he
he
togetherness

her life
has become
meaningless
and full of
boredom

but maybe
her life
never had any
meaning and
excitement

looking
at her life
she notices
her constant
fear to engage

give me five minutes
he said
and left the room

five years later
I am still waiting
for his return

she looks
at the letter
confirming
the change
of her name
and smiles
as she is
delighted
to be herself
again

when I was a child
I knew
what I needed
to do
to become a painter:
paint

as I grew up
my power of doing
was replaced by fear
and I stopped painting

I have some news
the young man said
before he left the room.
Since yesterday I have
a girlfriend.
His smile was warm
and I could see
how happy and content he was.
Imagining him walking
with his girlfriend
made me forget my worries
and I began to smile again.

one sheep
many sheep
finally sleep

knit knit purl knit
her needles clink
her fingers race
knit knit purl knit
no time to think
she found her pace
knit knit purl knit

waiting
today
tomorrow

she watched
the people in the room
clapping when a winner
was announced

what a grey
and well connected
group they are
she thought
and left the room

Gods live in mighty old trees
he said and smiled
when he saw
my disbelief.

I shall show you
he responded
took my hand
and began to walk.

Then he suddenly stopped
and pointed to a tree.
This is the mighty old tree
I wanted to show you.

I was surprised
as I had walked
past this tree many times
and had noticed nothing.

Lean against the tree,
close your eyes
and listen
he suggested.

Still uncertain
I leant against the tree
closed my eyes
listened
and understood.

scream
stop
breathe

pollution
noise
traffic
cranes
frantic
chaotic
*****
vibrant
humm­ing and buzzing
but turn a corner
and you are greeted by
serene squares
with small parks
and stone benches
inviting you
to sit down and relax
and connect with those
who have been here
centuries ago

you tell me
that I still have not
reached closure
after my divorce
and thus have failed
to leave behind the pain
his betrayal has caused

what I cannot
understand however
is why you refuse
to leave him
even if his betrayal
is giving you so much pain

she does not like
going to bed

every night she worries
about tomorrow
and these worries
create her dreams
frightening dreams
that make her heart race
and her soul weep

it is evening again
and she begins to worry
about tomorrow
and does not want
to go to bed

house of memories
I shall not visit again
yellow sun brings hope

looking at
the feather
on the pavement
she remembers
that as a little girl
it had been
her dream
to be a poet
when growing up
however
she sadly
had to let go
of her dream

they want me
to fail
they wish me
bad luck
they look down
at me
and laugh
at me
and what do I do
I do even better