Tim left Anne for a younger woman
Pete left Chris for a younger man
Eve left Louise for a younger woman
Sue left Joe for a younger man
You left me for a younger woman

Why?

MORNING:
Run to the station
Buy ticket
Buy coffee
Jump on the train
Find a seat
Fall asleep

EVENING:
Run to the station
Find ticket
Buy coffee
Jump on the train
Find a seat
Fall asleep

red
yellow
autumn

she woke up
in the middle
of the night
and realized
that she had
to leave him
if she wanted
to regain
her untroubled self

she listens
to the bell
striking twelve times
after the last stroke
she writes down
her resolution
for the new year:
to be true to herself

you will never catch me
the butterfly says
opens her wings
and flies away
leaving him behind
disappointed and sad

plan
action
success

You sit at your table
Glass of beer in front of you
Gazing at me with desire

I sit at my table
Glass of wine in front of me
Wondering about your desire

What is holding us back from making the move

Ping pong
the words are flying
he is shouting
and she is crying.

Ping pong
he is lying
pretending to care
but even not trying.

Ping pong
I am spying
watching their hatred
and their denying.

what present would you like?
grandmother asks
a model railway
the little girl says

not a train!
grandmother shakes her head
you are a little girl
what about a doll?

I am alone
in the big, pulsating city.
Walking through the crowded streets
I watch the faces
of the people rushing past:
so many stories,
so many questions
and no answers.

They feel sorry for me
Because in their eyes
I am a woman
Who has been thrown away
By her husband

What they do not see however
Is that I have picked myself up
And I am now free
To welcome the man
Who deserves me

you can
do it
he demands

I can
do it
she responds

why do you
not do it
impatiently
he asks

I am not
encouraged
invitingly
she smiles

It amazes me
how happiness
is slowly taking over
my soul

It makes me calm
and gives me strength
to wait
until our paths
will have finally crossed

it is my birthday today
she says
and wonders
what that means

she picks up
her phone
and reads
his message:
darling,
arrived in Shanghai,
hot and rainy,
busy schedule,
can’t call every day,
see you
next week

she sighs
and wipes
a tear
from her cheek
as she remembers
smelling
the other woman’s
perfume
when he kissed her
on his return
from Shanghai

festive busyness
smell of cinnamon and warmth
happiness returns

sitting on the bed
worrying about sleeping
dreams can be so bad

you
me
one

Why did I spend the night with you
Against the advice of my inner voice

Why did I trust your narratives
Without even knowing you

Why did I think that you would give me comfort and love
When my heart begged me to be careful

There are no answers to such questions

What is age
the little girl asks.

Age is an empty number
until you fill it with
experience
dreams
ideas
and happiness
her mother responds.

I want age
I want age
the little girl sings
and hugs
her mother.

yesterday
you said
you love me

today
you leave me
forever

tomorrow
you will lie
in my arms

I like the way you look at me
Kind and tender and loving

I like the way you touch me
Full of passion and desire

I like the way you hold me
Strong and tight and purposeful

But I do not like the way I meet you
Always in my dreams

Why do I care
when you do not

Why do I cry
when you just laugh

Why do I leave
when you want to stay

Why am I concerned
when you are not

Why am I confused
when I am with you

I do not
understand
why you smile
when
everything
seems to go wrong
I say

I know
that
things
will change
she answers
and smiles

she takes
a deep breath
straightens
her body
and stands tall
I can do it
she smiles
and makes
the first step
to begin her
new journey

green leaves
bring hope and joy
signs of renewal
and pleasures to come

angry storm outside
warmth and comfort in the house
waiting for the change

snow
tea
warmth

Yellow is my favourite colour
she says
pointing to the yellow sofa.
It reminds me of the sun
and happy holidays in Italy.

I hate yellow
he responds
walking to the black sofa.
It reminds me of a cake
and unhappy times.

Sitting on the yellow sofa
she looks at him
sitting on the black sofa.
She knows she has to make a choice:
yellow or black.

night
anxiety
awake

You were everything to me
my past my present and my future
my joy and my happiness
my hope and my desire
my belief
that life was worthwhile living

And then you left me

his
mine
ours

I need to change
but I do not know how

I need to change
but I have no courage

I need to change
but I have no vision

I need to change
as I am not happy

what is it like
passionately kissing him
she wonders
and longingly looks
at his lips
is it like eating
ice cream at midnight
or more like accidentally biting
on a jalapeño pepper

she sits
at the window
watching the birds
fly past

why can I not be
as free as a bird
she sighs
longing to spread out
her wings
and leave all
her sorrows
behind

night
sleep
healing

I came
to the foreign city
hoping to find myself
but instead
I have lost myself
even more

I can see
how angry you are
because you believe
I always let you down.

How can I convince you
that this depends on one’s perspective?

I think I shall ask you
to trust me and
to change your perspective
so that you can see my true intentions.

green, clean, ice-cold water
running over
white, round pebbles

always the same
and always changing
just like my life

Seagulls gliding past
Golden sunrays touch the sea
Mournful weeps my soul

You say
I can speak without restrictions
and encourage me
to go beyond my fear

I say
nothing
as I do not want to disappoint you

storm
sunshine
relationship

she sings
she dances
she smiles
as she has heard
from her friend again

she cooks
she bakes
she makes coffee
as he will visit her
later today

she remembers
she dreams
she imagines
as she is looking forward
to listen to his voice again

would you get married again
he asks

only if I can fully trust him
she replies

she is desperate
nothing she attempts
leads to success
she tries hard
to achieve her goals
but she always fails

I feel sorry for her
as she does not realise
that trying hard
but always failing
simply means
she should change direction

trust
jump
win

Those were happy days
you said
when you showed me
the photograph
I can see the sadness and anger
in your eyes
and the desire
to go back into the past