We moved with ease in hyper reality  
Laughing and joking with each other
And feeling light and comfortable
When gently pushing out the boundaries
Into a new world previously unknown to us
With every conversation our hopes and desires increased
Until we made the move into reality

what is your style
she asks

what is my style
I wonder

dog
walk
joy

thoughts
dreams
confusion

try these brambles
she said
I picked them
this morning
when I went for
a walk

I looked at the
black berries
in her hand
hesitant
as I had never eaten
such berries before

when I saw her smile
I could not resist
I ate a bramble
and to my surprise
it tasted like spring
and fresh air

I watch him
shaping a mug
on the pottery wheel

fully concentrated on the task
he firmly pushes down the clay
and then gently pulls it up
to create the perfect mug

I wonder if I will feel
his strength and gentleness
when I drink from his mug

yes
no
maybe

Walking through the park
Watching children running past
Sunrays kiss my face

Sometimes I am not sure
whether I am in the past
or in the present
I look at you
You still seem to be the same
and yet
I do not recognise
the man I am looking at

I am changing
my life
she said
with a smile
and left
the house

every argument
increases
the distance
between
you and me
and reminds me
how wrong I am
to believe
that there will be
a happy end
for you and me

I shall leave you
if you do not stop
acting like a child
he shouts.

She stops and thinks
and then doubles
her efforts
to act like a child.

I was told
that if a person is kind
others will appreciate
their kindness

I therefore cannot understand
why the response to my kindness
is not appreciation
but unkind bullying

I wonder what I am doing wrong

going home tonight
overcrowded train
outside windy, dark and cold
inside just the same

moving
forgetting
empowering

I am angry and annoyed
As I have finally understood
That my own weakness
Had made it possible
For others to hurt me

At the same time
I am happy and delighted
As I have also understood
That my newly gained strength
Makes it possible
For others to love me

giddiness
why
not

She likes to talk to him
but he does not listen.

She has so much to tell him
but he does not want to know.

She now decides to write
because he might prefer reading.

I can see
how hard you try
to hurt me

I can also see
that trying to hurt me
hurts you more
than it hurts me

Why don’t you just stop...

I am looking at it
but I do not
recognise it.

I am touching it
but its texture
is unknown to me.

I am smelling it
but its scent
is foreign to me.

I listen to it
but its sound
means nothing to me.

I talk to it
but realise
how foolish
that is.

I want to change
my life
she says
but I do not know
where to begin

so she takes
a deep breath
and decides
to continue
with her old life

golden moon and stars
cats are out on nightly walks
dreams of warmth and love

The difference between you and me is
that
I have forgiven him
but
you have not forgiven her

red wine
white wine
you & I

rain
enchantment
Scotland

impatiently
he looked at her
stop complaining
and make a decision

taken aback
by his lack of kindness
she made the decision
to leave him

How shall I concentrate when all these images
move past my eyes like on a never-ending conveyor belt:
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
   Luring you away from me
   Smiles that promise much
   But mean so little
   And a voice as sweet as Lorelei
   Come into my arms delicious boy
   And I see you fall
   I see you fall
   Passionately fall for it…
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
   Luring you away from me
   Smiles that promise much
   But mean so little
   And a voice as sweet as Lorelei
   Come into my arms delicious boy
   And I see you fall
   I see you fall
   Passionately fall for it…
   Lips so red and eyes so tempting
   ******* so full and so inviting
WHY IS THERE NO SWITCH ON THIS CONVEYOR BELT?

she watches
the raindrops
gently landing
on her skin
she is not afraid
of the rain
as she knows
that the sun
will soon
shine again

lightening
thunder
summer

I watch him
choosing flowers.

He concentrates
on the task
as he has decided
to express
his love for her
by choosing
the right flowers.

I am deeply worried
that he might fail.

I am alone
in the big, pulsating city.
Walking through the crowded streets
I watch the faces
of the people rushing past:
so many stories,
so many questions
and no answers.

I like sipping
camomile tea.

The smell reminds me
of happy days
in my grandmother’s house
when I was free
of worries and fear
and full of joy and hope.

Drinking camomile tea
reminds me
that anything is possible.

On Sunday I showed
my son the land
he said.
I took him to the woods
that our ancestors
had planted
so that he would learn
what he was part of.

I listened quietly
and wondered
why I had never learned
what I was part of.

You want me
to be your soul mate
your friend
who is always there
when you are
in trouble

But you do not want me
to be your lover
your muse
who gives you joy
when you are
happy and relaxed

Why can I not be both

It amazes me
how happiness
is slowly taking over
my soul

It makes me calm
and gives me strength
to wait
until our paths
will have finally crossed

You need calmness
she says
and smiles.

How can I be calm
I ask
when I have
so much to do.

You need calmness
she explains
to decide
what you need to do
so that you can reduce
what you have to do.

red
yellow
autumn

You sit at your table
Glass of beer in front of you
Gazing at me with desire

I sit at my table
Glass of wine in front of me
Wondering about your desire

What is holding us back from making the move

morning
awakening
hope

Why did I spend the night with you
Against the advice of my inner voice

Why did I trust your narratives
Without even knowing you

Why did I think that you would give me comfort and love
When my heart begged me to be careful

There are no answers to such questions

Tim left Anne for a younger woman
Pete left Chris for a younger man
Eve left Louise for a younger woman
Sue left Joe for a younger man
You left me for a younger woman

Why?

I want to run away to
a place
where nobody knows me
a place
where everybody is kind
and understanding
a place
where nobody is concerned
about difference
a place
where I can be me.

You want me to be your friend
Someone you can tell
What pains you suffer
because of her

I want you to be my lover
Someone I can tell
What pleasures I desire
because of you

Our paths will never cross

SHE
looking into the distance
dreaming of happiness
and love

HE
looking at her
not understanding
her silence

ME
sensing
the end

a white blanket of snow
covers the cobbled street
there are no cars
there are no people
only stillness and serenity

you
me
one

festive busyness
smell of cinnamon and warmth
happiness returns

you will never catch me
the butterfly says
opens her wings
and flies away
leaving him behind
disappointed and sad

you can
do it
he demands

I can
do it
she responds

why do you
not do it
impatiently
he asks

I am not
encouraged
invitingly
she smiles