yesterday
seems so close
tomorrow
is so near
today
does not make sense

waiting for the boat
stormy waters and grey sky
anxious is her mind

festive busyness
smell of cinnamon and warmth
happiness returns

snow
tea
warmth

sun
warmth
optimism

cold and icy field
wintry roads and snowy hills
bleak and sorrow mind

forest
calmness
inspiration

fixing her gaze
on the flame
of the candle
she begins to
dream

it is always
the same dream

she is the heroine
who every time
miraculously
ends up with
mr right

she blows
the candle out

she puts on
a beautiful dress
brushes her hair
and leaves
the house

she has decided
to stop dreaming

golden moon and stars
cats are out on nightly walks
dreams of warmth and love

morning
awakening
hope

she thinks
she is astonished
she wonders
how could she
have forgotten
that happiness
you do not find
but create

she smiles
she stands up
tall
strong
fearless
determined
and begins
to create

dark night
she cannot
sleep
her thoughts
are like
a spider’s net
trapping
her soul
no escape
from the
never ending
question
she
cannot
answer:
when will
it be my turn
to find joy
in what
I do?

thoughtful
playful
love

she looks at me
and smiles
as she can see
that I struggle
to find an ending
to my story

enjoy the process
she quietly says
knowing that
this will not
be easy

fog and weeping sky
dancing red and yellow leaves
fleeting happiness

rain
fog
november

yellow and red leaves
misty mornings greeting me
quiet is my mind

relax
dream
recover

she sits
on the chair
exhausted
and wonders
if one day
she will have
the strength
and courage
to walk away
and leave him
behind

waiting
listening
hoping

red
yellow
autumn

you were
my hero and
my joy

my sunshine
when skies
were grey

my hope
for better things
to come

but now
you are
my biggest
mistake

she looks at him
and wonders
if helping him
would also
destroy him

you
me
one

friends
laughter
joy

doubts
darkness
fear

she takes
a deep breath
she straightens
her body
and stands tall
she looks ahead
with determination
and then presses
the button
and resets
her life

canvas
paints
happiness

eating the food
you have cooked for me
is a sensuous experience
I can smell a country
far away
with tastes foreign to me
and secrets and pleasures
to be explored

eating the food
you have cooked for me
soon becomes
a sensual experience
now I can smell
your scent
and taste your skin

I close my eyes
and eat slowly
very very slowly
savouring every bite
not wanting to miss
your secret pleasures

night
darkness
loneliness

I am
crying
but you do not
come

I am
screaming
but you do not
hear

I am
calling you
but there is
no response

so I decide
to go out
with him

you are as old
as I was
when you get married

will you also be
as old as I was
when you get divorced?

I am sad
that I cannot be
where you are
although
I understand
why I am excluded

she feels strong
she is happy
she is celebrating
that she has crossed the line
gone beyond convention
and followed her heart

pumpkins
chestnuts
autumn

walking through the woods
autumn leaves are everywhere
summer is a thought

up
down
yo-yo

sometimes
I do not know
what to do

at other times
I can see
a clear path ahead

today
I am lost again
tomorrow
I might find the path

courage
action
happiness

I need to change
but I do not know how

I need to change
but I have no courage

I need to change
but I have no vision

I need to change
as I am not happy

Vienna
music
happiness

I am fed up
talking to you
he angrily says
and begins
to walk faster

she sadly smiles
and tries to keep up
with him
hoping that one day
he will understand
how much
she cares for him

hot air and no wind
burning sunshine everywhere
there is no escape

she sings
she dances
she smiles
as she has heard
from her friend again

she cooks
she bakes
she makes coffee
as he will visit her
later today

she remembers
she dreams
she imagines
as she is looking forward
to listen to his voice again

you tell me
that I still have not
reached closure
after my divorce
and thus have failed
to leave behind the pain
his betrayal has caused

what I cannot
understand however
is why you refuse
to leave him
even if his betrayal
is giving you so much pain

When I look into the mirror
I see a woman
I do not know.
I try to understand her.
What makes her happy
and what makes her sad?
I would like to know
her dreams and her desires,
her secret hopes for
a life full of joy and love.
What are her plans?
Does she have any plans?
She is a stranger
shrouded in mystery.
I wonder if I will ever
understand her.

green trees
green lake
green tea
you and me

red sun
red sky
red tea
you and me

white hills
white paths
white tea
you and me

knowing
that you
were reading
my poems
irritated me

knowing
that you
are now not reading
my poems
has not changed
how I feel

music
mountains
Austria