Vienna
music
happiness

I am fed up
talking to you
he angrily says
and begins
to walk faster

she sadly smiles
and tries to keep up
with him
hoping that one day
he will understand
how much
she cares for him

hot air and no wind
burning sunshine everywhere
there is no escape

she sings
she dances
she smiles
as she has heard
from her friend again

she cooks
she bakes
she makes coffee
as he will visit her
later today

she remembers
she dreams
she imagines
as she is looking forward
to listen to his voice again

you tell me
that I still have not
reached closure
after my divorce
and thus have failed
to leave behind the pain
his betrayal has caused

what I cannot
understand however
is why you refuse
to leave him
even if his betrayal
is giving you so much pain

When I look into the mirror
I see a woman
I do not know.
I try to understand her.
What makes her happy
and what makes her sad?
I would like to know
her dreams and her desires,
her secret hopes for
a life full of joy and love.
What are her plans?
Does she have any plans?
She is a stranger
shrouded in mystery.
I wonder if I will ever
understand her.

green trees
green lake
green tea
you and me

red sun
red sky
red tea
you and me

white hills
white paths
white tea
you and me

knowing
that you
were reading
my poems
irritated me

knowing
that you
are now not reading
my poems
has not changed
how I feel

music
mountains
Austria

shrines
cherry blossoms
Japan

what present would you like?
grandmother asks
a model railway
the little girl says

not a train!
grandmother shakes her head
you are a little girl
what about a doll?

I like walking down the streets
when it is dark
and every lit up window
tells a different story

here lives the young couple
who are having their dinner
every night at the same time
they both seem to work long hours

in this room a family
watches television
they do the same every day
nothing seems to disturb their rhythm

through this window
I can see a little boy playing with his train
he smiles and watches the carriages
going past fast and purposeful

here an old couple lives
they sit quietly on the sofa
they do not speak
and seem to listen to music

this is the window
that is always dark
I wonder if nobody lives here
or whether they work during the night

now I can see my window
which is brightly lit up
my black cat is sitting on the table
waiting for me to come home

oranges
lemons
memories

she does not like
going to bed

every night she worries
about tomorrow
and these worries
create her dreams
frightening dreams
that make her heart race
and her soul weep

it is evening again
and she begins to worry
about tomorrow
and does not want
to go to bed

pizza and pasta
memories of holidays
smiles and happiness

oh happy day
she sings
and arranges
the yellow flowers
in the pretty glass vase
next she sets the table
two cups and two plates
cutlery and serviettes
a jug of milk and a bowl of sugar
a teapot and the cake
that she has baked
especially for today

Words, words, so many words.
Where do I begin?
Where do I end?
What is my story?
Do I have a story?
Do I need a story?
Is anybody interested in my story?
It is only me who writes.
Words, words, so many words.

bright sun and warm air
green lake surrounded by trees
never ending joy

every argument
increases
the distance
between
you and me
and reminds me
how wrong I am
to believe
that there will be
a happy end
for you and me

I want to do
something outrageous
just once in my life:
I want to ignore
norms and expectations
and follow my dreams.

problems
solutions
calmness

pressure
stress
endless

I love the taste
of strawberries
sweet and intense
like your kiss on
a hot summer day

I adore the colour
of strawberries
deep and strong
like your arms
around my waist

I enjoy the texture
of strawberries
firm and yet gentle
like your hands
on my skin

I like sipping
camomile tea.

The smell reminds me
of happy days
in my grandmother’s house
when I was free
of worries and fear
and full of joy and hope.

Drinking camomile tea
reminds me
that anything is possible.

black nose and pink nose
green eyes and blue eyes
black coat and white coat
short hair and long hair

curiousness and playfulness
sleepiness and calmness
liveliness and eagerness
Kurotan and Shirotan

happy
smiling
you

cats
wool
fun

she looks at the books
on her bookshelf
and begins to cry
as every book
represents one of
her unfulfilled desires

she wanted to travel
but did not have time
she loves the idea of cooking
but hates her kitchen
she likes gardening
but lives in a flat
she dreams of being an artist
but does not have courage
she yearns to be happy
but can never achieve it

the books on her bookshelf
tell a story of failure
of a life wasted
and dreams not lived
she therefore decides
to throw out the books
and begin afresh

I am looking at it
but I do not
recognise it.

I am touching it
but its texture
is unknown to me.

I am smelling it
but its scent
is foreign to me.

I listen to it
but its sound
means nothing to me.

I talk to it
but realise
how foolish
that is.

you are back
she says, smiles
and puts the kettle on
to make tea for him

he is confused
as he had not expected
such a welcome
having left her
nearly ten years ago

blue
yellow
me

sitting at the desk
writing poetry again
smiling and relaxed

cook
share
enjoy

I watch him
choosing flowers.

He concentrates
on the task
as he has decided
to express
his love for her
by choosing
the right flowers.

I am deeply worried
that he might fail.

try these brambles
she said
I picked them
this morning
when I went for
a walk

I looked at the
black berries
in her hand
hesitant
as I had never eaten
such berries before

when I saw her smile
I could not resist
I ate a bramble
and to my surprise
it tasted like spring
and fresh air

hug
kiss
smile

apple and mint tea
white cat sleeping on my chair
no need to worry

for her
the spotlight is
on the moment

in the brightness
of the moment
she cannot see
her past
nor anticipate
her future

for her
living in the moment
means happiness

lilac
lavender
memories

yesterday
you said
you love me

today
you leave me
forever

tomorrow
you will lie
in my arms

drinking tea with you
in a cafe by the sea
discussing divorce

pen
paper
poem

it is my birthday today
she says
and wonders
what that means

birthday
presents
celebration

laughter
you
me

She screams at me:
You are such an egoist!
You are not thinking of others
and their feelings!
You are disappointing us all!
We did not expect this from you!
I now need to protect my family.
Do not come to visit us.

I wonder what I have done
to get so severely punished?

Maybe it was my decision
no longer to follow
other people’s expectations
and to finally live my own life.

Lazy Sunday afternoon
Hot chocolate, cake and reading.

Dreams of better days to come
Thoughts of adventure and of fun.

I wish Monday does not come!

coffee
cake
chat