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jess May 2017
you can lean
on the tennis court fence
and tell me
about your day, your week,
your life.

i can sit
on the tennis court floor
smoking bits
taking petty photos
of the sky,
as you say how bad it is
to be alive.

we'll find
comfort in loneliness
and when we
finally feel okay,
i'll snap
a new photo
of our sky.
jess May 2017
Sadness stands on a ladder
high above me, with a hose.
She pours hot hate into my body,
in an effort to make me suffer.

if i move too quickly,
It spills past my throat, and
drops fall off my tongue.

and i need you, James
to kiss new little holes
all over my gray body
and let Hate fall on the floor
from the depths of my disease

i need you, James
please sew my head
with a needle you find
in the pit of my soul
and seal me softly
to keep the Sadness
from seeping in.

I need you, James
come close to me,
listen for a pulse,
and remind me.
i am still alive.
jess May 2017
My mother, placing things in my left
opulent smoke in her yellow hair,
her tired lips taking another drag.
I feel this as I push smoke into my throat,
using my left hand to the Marlboro.

My father, happening upon the other hand
I remember apologies he wrote on Post-its
to be read during kitchen-counter mornings,
as my right hand concludes
another sad poem.
So I read an article that told about how infants learn their dominant hand based on which hand their parents place toys in, and was inspired to write this mess of a poem. Enjoy
jess May 2017
I think they're playing poker
outside my window
the man in the polo shirt
is yelling about spades
as the little girl dances
in her sweet cotton dress
and the frail woman
finds her way to a cup
for her golden gin

I snap a photo
with my film camera.
in this moment,
everything is perfect.
not sure how i feel about this. I just like to people watch, that's it
jess May 2017
I smelled cig smoke
and I wanted to smoke ten

I heard his laugh
and it made me love him again
jess May 2017
"these seats aren't
made for comfort"
the cop tells me
as i buckle the belt

as i sit there,
i see my reflection
in the glass
in front of me
and i hate myself

i wonder if they put
that little bit of glass
in that specific place
for that exact purpose

some people think that
mirrors are a view
into another world,
a parallel universe

i tuck a piece of hair
behind my ear,
look at the glass
and smile.
my life is like a series of out-of-body experiences recently
jess May 2017
did you kiss him?

or did you
hold his wrist
pull him
stepping feet
behind the wall
in your basement?

did you move
so close to
each other
so that you could
feel his breath
in the space
between you?

did you stand
on your tip toes
and let yourself
look into his
dark eyes
like a pretty blouse
in the store window
to his soul?

did you draw close
to his face,
lean in,
tilt your head
ever so slightly,
and let your
lips meet?

did you make me
feel like my heart
dropped into
my stomach,
like my feet
might just
stop moving?

or, did you just
kiss
him
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