That sight of the scars
Painting her young wrists
Shook me with with disbelief
Yet overtook me with jealousy

I'd never be able to express pain
Like she did in her poetry

The crispest of papers
The finest of inks would falter
In front of that beautiful, mangled mess
Her smudged, blood-tinged words would author

Hard to sleep write out the frustration
Things don't turn out according
Can't always get what one wants
The fear of starting over
Moving forward fear of missing
One wants to fix the mistake
Beyond ones control
Saw goods turns out to be no good
Unexpressed love hoping to find truth

I feel for others but can't relate
That's destine and fate
I don't always know what to say
I dk the feeling but try to understand
Been on both sides one alive
The other is feeling dead inside
Trust is hard after being served betrayal
Years off being closed off not easy to open up
You want things to change but feel the same
Day after day time after time
Pushed out but once in its whatever
All the hazing meant for better

People always look right through me,
It's like I'm never there.
There's nothing there, nothing to see
Just boring plain thin air.

I try to speak but no one hears
My voice just like a breeze.
Everyone shouts loud and clear
Ignoring me with ease.

I walk straight by, you'll never know,
No one to notice me.
These are the colours that will never show
This face, you'll never see.

I walk a long a lonely path
So far away from now.
Watching people talk and laugh
In ways I don't know how.

I fade away, I have no choice
You'll never know my name.
You'll never even hear my voice.
This is me, Miss Cellophane.

you can’t tell me i’m not forgotten until you’ve been the kid that parents never talk to.
you can’t tell me i’m not unloved until you’ve been the grandchild that grandparents never travel for.
you can’t tell me i’m not ugly until you’ve been the girl always scrutinized for her weight, hair, skin, and everything in between.

you can’t because you are remembered
you are loved
you are beautiful
      breathtaking
      gorgeous
      lovely
impeccably striking in every way, shape, and form.

you can’t say you’re forgotten
you can’t say you’re unloved
you can’t say you’re ugly
you can’t
i can

When I’ve come undone you’ll know where I’ll be,

Right where I belong,

Drowning in your sea.

How do you describe the feeling?
It's not just an ache,
aches leave you feeling empty,
make you yearn.
It's when your body fills,
no not your body,
your heart.
& for a minute you feel calm,
you're a paradox,
you're at one with the world, the universe maybe, yet completely detatched from everything.
A spectator.
It would be as though you were looking down upon yourself,
this human,
this soul,
that you know every secret of, every detail about,
but you're unconnected.
Seperate.
Alone.
I feel this way when I look upon a view, watch the world in wonder.
Like when you see your reflection,
no matter how vague,
in glass,
looking up at you from water.
& you reach your finger out,
& you connect.
The way the lines blur between what is really you & your double.
They blur until they are no more.
Like the lines between realities.