Moonlight pours over your skin;
                 Your eyes still closed.
In this moment
I can almost imagine your lips moving
              Up
                    And down
Telling me you don’t know what love is
And asking me if I do
                                       As if i have a clue
                     Suddenly
A new lover
                      Her deep brown eyes
                      Her hands
                      Her touch
                      Her lips
             Not yours.
I’m trying to be fearless because I know,
                             I know she wants me,
needs me, craves me.
It makes me feel handsome.
With her nails in my back I apologize
         That I don’t know if I love her or not
She pulls my face to hers and whispers
Love isn’t always roses and heart shaped boxes
Sometimes it’s a guilty conscience and scratch marks in your back.
          
                        No.
My mind goes back to you
              Your hazel eyes
              Your hands
              Your touch
              Your lips
Telling me you don’t know what love is
       And me
Wishing I said we can figure it out.

Always the harp strung out.
              Always the cactus deserted.

All you wanted was something definitive.
I cant blame you
            For looking past little words
That weren’t even said to your face.
         You look beautiful tonight,
But that’s nothing new.
          Face to face,
I wonder what pattern of words and
                                  Looks
            Could make every inch of you mine.

My heart: a lone oak tree.

All I wanted was the world
                                               But I’d settle for Asher, Arizona, with you.
              In complete honestly
There’s not much difference between the two.
Love in the desert, love in the mountains
Love in my arms, love in the Pacific,
                    Love in my passenger seat
Love on stage
           Love walking away in my headlights.
                
                  “Love loves to love love.”

Hello, Love
I’m sorry my smiles a bit crooked,
          I’m sorry I’m looking at you like this,
                    I’m sorry I had to go and ruin,    
              everything by saying it all out loud.

Here’s the part where an anxious 20 year old sends the
exact right text message at the exact right
               Time:
Hello darling, I can’t wait for you
                    To come home for the weekend
So we can make strawberry cake
        And fall on my kitchen floor laughing
Spilling bottles of cheap wine
            While I finally draw the words I
    Desperately
Have always wanted to here from you
                        And return them in kind

I’m sorry about all that.
                   If you’d like
                        We can forget about all that
            And get matching tattoos
In the morning before you leave.
                   If you’d like              
  We can pretend it’s all so simple.

                                And
I’m sorry if I ****** you
                              Even if it is intentional.
Here’s the part where I forget all my apologies:
I grab you by the waist and
     Tickle you
                    Because I know
You’ll fall into me laughing
           And rest your head on my chest
And when you look up
                     I’ll be there to kiss you
And take you away to dark rooms
     With confident hands
Bad intentions
                               And the crazed euphoria
Of feeling your skin against mine.

Your eyes burn through the cold
                           And me
They wander like
                                They’re lost
And a little scared
                   Looking for something
                                                         Familiar
     To hold on to
                                             Until they find
A pair of strong arms
Loosely attached
                                to a weak man.

Hypocrite I am, I want you to go further
I want you
              confident
I want you
              To tighten your grip ever so slightly
I want you
              To want to be with me alone
Somewhere with dimmed lights
And silence in the air between us

You’ll have me with a few whispered words
Or if you pulled yourself any closer to me
                      Hypocrite I am,
I’ll just lead you there.
                                       You make the call
          If all you want can be found in
A pair of strong arms
Loosely attached
                                to a weak man

I wake up to
                                      Another
Golden morning.
Stand up,
                 Stretch my arms,
                                                Brush my teeth
And walk in a perfect circle
Wondering where I’ll end up
                                This time.

A rat gnaws on my brain until
A million or so tiny words
                                          Bleed out of it
                                          But,
They all just read about
                  Terrible
                                         Boring
        Things
About
  The lacerated seams in my skin
That separate all of this
And all of that

Through this
                                 I picture you
Looking at me and saying
“I’m so incredibly lucky for you to be in love with me”
               Do you ever think that?
Mentally, I’m slaying dragons for you.
                         Physically,
Im placing my hand on your back
Hoping you don’t think it’s a bit much

            The bare naked truth is
                                             You terrify me.
But in an okay way
     Like
              Skydiving,
                                 Or learning how to drive
It all could be over in 5 minutes
But it’s a thrill,
    
       You make me feel like a real person

But I want more than that
       I want you
To make a frame with your hands
        And put my face in it
             Then call me your masterpiece
Be a perfectionist,
                                           Perfect me

We’ve been on the edge before
Together
                          Probably 50 or so times
Where I nearly traced over your curves
                         And edges
With trembling fingers
           Terrified
And surprised you don’t pull away    
                                    completely.
Before we lose our nerve

And then I write about
                            Walking in circles  
Or some dumb metaphor
                              About
Scarred skin
                       And hope that you can relate.

She walked in beauty
As if she hadn’t
The slightest idea
She was mine.
When she passed me
And I saw her smile
Smelled her perfume
I remembered all
That was stolen
From me.
How careless was I?
How careless was I?
To leave home
With the front door
Unlocked?

He looks at himself a sinner
With horrible thoughts.
He looks at her, an hourglass
Running out of sand.

He wishes to be the twisted sheets
That cover her body as she sleeps.  
Or an unspoken thought
Melting away on her tongue.

He’d walk on burning coals
To be a little closer to her.
Then offer his tender flesh,
His scars and all, to her

He longs to be the stars
That she sees above her at night.
And a sweet grapefruit
With skin her fingernails

Rip apart.

The sun won’t fall
                                 As I chase you
Around Penrose stairs
                                 I’ve almost got you
Almost all caught up
                                 And in the clear
I can almost touch
                                 Your beautiful face
And I think to myself
                                “Am I ready for this?”