that bring those lemon slices back to my tea
which never quite appealed to you.
Once in a fair while, as you sit whistling that tune,
hoping I'd be smirking,
I'd hum loudly. Out of key. And tastelessly.
So consumed in your troubles,
the beer bottles, wines, tabs that are hardly tipped,
the wink in your hypocrisy kissed my pride.
I flinch now. These days have made me flinch.
Gratifyingly so, your fingers are louder than
your lips.
I do not know the taste of your lips.
No one kisses on Tuesdays.
Maybe Wednesday, but we never see each other
then.

While others are wishing,
Crying.
Dreaming.
I am living.
I have what they lost,
Or what they never got.
And I will never, ever
Take that for granted.

With legs intertwined
We lay in peace
Silently drifting into a land of dreams
One not nearly as reputable
As the one we’re already living

I am a good girl
This I swear
I won't change ever
I would not dare
I am the good girl
Yes I am
When bad things happen
Just say, "Don't think I can."
I am the nice girl
Yes, indeed
I don't act out
I'm not guilty of greed
I am a nice girl
Through and through
That is, I was
Until I met you
and
then
i
was
bad                                                   bad                                                      bad
                   not                                                  sad
not                               evil
but i did things
that
maybe
i                                                        shouldn't                                   have
at least,
i did things
that    
good                                  girls                                      don't                                                                   do.
nothing made
sense
nothing was prim
nothing was proper
i was free
living like a                              rebel
and when i am with you
everyone says
"Look! There goes a bad girl
There's an example of what
you
shouldn't
do."
Well,
take it from
me
because I
was once a good girl too
do it
whatever you want to do
do it for the rush
do it for the screams
do it before it's just another dream
do it for love
for the strange sensation of                         guilt and pleasure
rolled into one
because, darling
when you're through
you won't be a good girl
or a bad girl
you'll just be you

even when you forgive me for everything
I keep asking myself
am I the bad guy?

Reasons why I am going to Europe:

I am going to Europe because I am nineteen— almost twenty— years old and, for some reason, I am expected to have my entire life planned and ready to go. I am expected to go to college, get a degree which will give me above-minimum wage pay, possibly meet a boy. Date this boy on and off (as well as a few others) during my early twenties, get drunk a few times, maybe do some drugs, marry someone when I turn twenty six. Have two kids. Pay my mortgage, plan to travel when I am older. Pay my student loans. Do yoga on the weekends.

No thank-you.

I am nineteen— almost twenty— years old, and for some reason, I have no idea what I want to do with myself. I went to college for a major in English with a teaching license— I hated it. I tried to **** myself three times. So here, I am, working at Food Lion, running around the woods, drinking Gin and blood orange juice on a Monday night, with no plan. And I am happy. I am going to Europe because what else would I be doing with myself? I am going to Europe because I want to wake up in a hostel with someone else’s shirt on, the smell of salt on my skin, and the taste of wine in my mouth

. I am going to Europe because I don’t want my greatest thrill in life to be going to Whole Foods one Saturday of the month to buy nice wine and a quality meat only to watch the travel channel and hope for places I will go to ‘someday’. I am going to Europe because why can’t ‘someday’ be today?


I am going to Europe because I may get lost in a market place, in a bottle of Absinthe, in the arms of an Italian man, in the bottom of a bottle of sweet Moscato, in a pub in Ireland, in the mouth of a french girl, in a German forest, and that will be alright. I am going to Europe because my feet itch, and my soul is thirsty. I am going to Europe because sometimes it feels like the world is only as big as your home-town, and that is only an illusion that needs to be cured.

Vengeful souls demand recognition
as the blood fills the cracks in our foundations
and our genetic code is the biggest cop out ever known
As the media sells out and buys into the latest solution
Predicament home grown
When the problems run deeper than the sewage
they run deeper than the refineries and plastic seas
Tho they all serve as an example of the lacking
The lack of a proficent economy
and if someone is capable of defaecating where they eat
Whose to say they care for whats on your plate?
More and more we see the collaspe socially in our race
So what I dont understand is the shock when a man
brings a pipe bomb with intent to displace
Everyone is afraid of the yellow flag of terrorism
yet neglect the true issues when it turns red
Neglecting the many motives of an internal suspicion
So next time you go to stomp your former man
To dehumanise and overwork him
Remember your local postal hand
and how even the sanest can be pushed over the edge