Sick doth my heart grow with longing
For you my eyes are always seeking

Again and again for you I pine
Wishing and praying to make you mine

For what more can a man ask for
But to open his empty heart as a door

To the one who is indeed most worthy
With her wit, charm, grace, and beauty

Gods and mortals alike fall at your feet
For to have you heart and soul is the greatest feat

Seeing your smile assures me of blissful days
My heart is yours to keep forever and always

the world won’t implode
if my lips touch yours

the sun won’t die
the seas won’t boil
the sky won’t fall
the earth won’t split

if my eye meets yours
if my finger brushes yours
if my forehead touches yours
as my arm encircles your waist

so what’s the problem here

if i bury my nose in your hair
if i whisper sweet nothings in your ear
if i press you up against the wall
and claim all of you

blood will not rain from the heavens
planets will not collide
beelzeboul will not rise
and the internet will not die

if i make you mine

so why

My heart refused to surrender
the memory of your lips
your breath
your voice
your eyes
your hair
your skin
your legs
your *******

So I did the next best thing
which is
to lock you in a box
and send it tumbling
clattering into the shadows of my soul
where even my darkest impulses
hesitate to roam.

For I have already scattered to the wind
thoughts of you
of where I used to nuzzle your neck
of your sighs as you straddled me
and rained kisses on my shoulders
as I explored the white plains and valleys of your neck with my lips
your opaque tresses enclosing us like a velvet curtain
of that spot behind your ear
that turned you into a convulsing puddle
of the secretive smirk
as your lips ambushed mine
while the bacon burned itself to a charred crisp
ignored for a few stolen afternoon moments.

The waters have swallowed up
the foregone moments
of silence as you devoured yogurt
cup after cup with manic zeal
of afternoon naps interspersed
with locked lips and remorseful embraces
of nights shattered by raised voices and silent tears
of quiet revelations as heaven descended
while you wrapped yourself around my arm.

The few treacherous strands of recollection
I leave to the roaring sands
sleek as silk and strong as steel
obstinate cobwebs sticking to my hair and skin
indifferently recurring flashes of reminiscence
such as
the painful cognizance only theology can exacerbate
how you restrained my hands
when their gesticulations crossed over into exaggeration
those truly rare moments of generosity
when you showed some semblance of affection
or even
your dogged efforts at breaking into my reverie
to teach me to look past my little bio-dome
and live in the world beyond.

What stubbornly remained I managed to fit into that box
which refused to budge
without much pleading
cajoling
threatening
and screaming
oh and
physical violence helped too.

And finally over the edge it went
banished
down to join the growing pile of crates
of memories
also written off with a flippant wave of the hand
and washed away with a burning wave of whiskey.

Someday
I, too, will write

And create a story as beautiful and hopeless as ours.
A story of wistfulness.
A story of sadness. Of lost love. Doomed love.
Oh, such blissful damnation it was.

I will recreate this story
Like how I held you once again in my dreams
How we smiled and talked and laughed again
Just like before.
And make people weep
Like I wept.

Someday, time and experience shall free me
To write like how I so desired today.

It's unraveling inside
Flooding and making a mess of things
And I'm helpless
Powerless to pour it out.
Words are still insufficient
- And perhaps will always be -
To capture what I had seen and felt.
(And what you truly meant to me.)

For a moment
All this rancor evaporated
To reveal the raw state of things.
I still miss you dearly, it seems. Perhaps I always will.

(The cold is slowly killing the dormant giant, but however long shall it take?)

And may I gladly accept it
As gladly as I have sought you out in the beginning
No longer carrying the shackles of bitterness on me.
Haven't I suffered enough, after all?