Sometimes,
I try to escape you.
Whether in my thoughts;
or in my day.
I have become spectacular at blocking out
the memories.
But sometimes,
I try to escape you.
When I see the curve of your cheek
lit in the soft moon light
and all I want to do is reach out and cup my hand on your face;
I try to escape you.
When I close my eyes with you right next to me;
and I dream of interlacing my fingers with yours,
my head on your chest.
When I can hear the actual sound of your heartbeat being imitated in my sleep;
and I wake up and wonder.. hope.. That I wasn't dreaming;
too afraid to ask in fear of being chastised for wanting you..
I try to escape you.
And in the morning, I prepare myself to go home.
Even though I know I'll miss you
and only think of you when I'm there.
But then you ask me to stay one more night
and I can't say no to your beautiful green eyes
or your bright smile.
I try to escape you.
But I can't.
**My love.

Every one has problems in their lives:
The broken family; the high school bullies;
the twisted neuron in the brain.
We all have things that happen to us;
maybe you dropped your keys as you walked out of the door, or your mom called to tell you she wasn't visiting this weekend..
No matter what it is;
life will bring you down.
Repeatedly.
It doesn't wait for you;
It doesn't say "oh, they're having a bad day, better be nice."
No.
If anything, it comes at you harder than before.
Who are all these lonely people?
You don't know their stories,
you don't know what they face when they get home.
But imagine they are exactly like you.
Hey, it's okay to go home feeling awful
and take twenty minutes to sit in the shower;
just lie down there for awhile and cry your eyes out.
No ones judging you there, you can be weak for awhile.
But after that...
                               Just let it go.
There is no reason to hold onto things that break you. It doesn't change anything anyway.
All you can do us wake up the next morning and decide to be happy; to disregard the negativity and be positive.
You are your own light, no one else can be it for you.
It's okay to be weak; but it is not okay to give in and let the bad things control your life.
You may be hurting, but I guarantee you will feel a lot better if you just
                                     *let it go.

There's a girl I know,
I won't tell you her name.
She's been through so much;
as much as me, but I think more.
She has someone in her life,
someone she could never leave.
Who she loves more than life;
who she sees in her future;
who she wants more than air.
But this someone doesn't love her back;
doesn't love her like that.
And it kills her.
I held her in the parking lot today,
as she cried into my shoulder,
shaking uncontrollably,
hit with the loss of her love.
She has been there for me through my situations
that seem to be incredibly similar to hers.
I will never forget what she's done.
I pray to God, she finds a source of light;
she heals;
she is whole again.
But most of all;
I pray that I don't end up
exactly like her.

I'm not who you think I am,
just trying to escape.
But still trying to keep my eye on you,
so everything is fake.