it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another’s,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another’s face your sweet hair lay
in such silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be—
you of my heart,send me a little word;
that i may go unto him,and take his hands,
saying,Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face,and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands

Every time I hear the phone ring once I've gone to bed
I shudder
I'm afraid of what the news might be if I go and answer
I shudder
I hate the sound of that **** phone
Late at night and all alone
Feel like a kid though I am grown
I shudder

I don't want to hear that someone died
That phone just reaches deep inside
And pulls me to a place I don't want to go
With parents ill, and others sick
That ringing phones a ***** trick
The news that comes with it ...I just don't want to know

My mind is racing like my heart
With images of life as we once knew it
I don't want to forget a single day
Of how we laughed and we would play
I just don't know how I will quite get through it
The thought of losing someone close...is tough
Of pain and grief, this heart has had enough.....

So....Every time I hear the phone ring once I've gone to bed
I shudder
I'm afraid of what the news might be if I go and answer
I shudder
I hate the sound of that **** phone
Late at night and all alone
Feel like a kid though I am grown
I shudder

I need something
But not from a bottle or a bowl
I need something
But not drugs
To make me whole

I need a light
I need a magic wand
I need to hold someone tight
I need a deeper bond
I need a little more respect
I need my voice to be heard
I need someone who understands
And takes me at my word

I need a break from all the pain
And I need time to heal
I need someone who knows my dreams
And wants them to be real

You've done your best to help me
My thanks to you is great
But really what I need is you
So I guess I'll just have to wait

Without you time moves slowly
I stand as it passes me by
But tonight I am so lonely
I need the love in your eyes

My God.
What have I done?
What have I done?

This morning I woke up laying on the ceiling
Looking down at myself
I look different
Not talking about when I shaved last
A 5 o'clock shadow of who I use to know
Frightened by what I see
6 more weeks of a frigid winter
As my bones chatter
They'll talk about the changes I've endured

I go to bed tonight on my ceiling
My covers look warm

The pain settled
in the marrow of her bones
like termites feeding on timber.
The pain battled
with the beautiful thoughts of her mind
like a prize-fighter pinned against the ropes.
The pain dragged
her youth and her innocence

and tossed her off a twelve story parking garage.

The grief stole
the satisfaction of life from his control
like a gust of wind upon candlelight.
The grief fogged
the gleam of hope in his eyes
like factory steam blots out the stars.
The grief shackled
his energy and his spirit

and bound him to a hospital bed.

...why couldn't they find a hand to hold?

3 days off enjoying my alone time
I've given so much need to recharge
Confidence in others runs short
Going my way over being pushed aside
Thoughts of what to do next
Bouncing around ideas
How to put the master plan in motion
The more I stall emotionless feelings surface
Locked in my room listening to music
Watching my fave film
Creating my sitcom script
Writing monologues
Sharing my experiences hoping others laugh understand

Been eatting healthier and feeling rewarded
Investing in myself turning things around
Meeting new ppl being a better me
Writing more ideas out
Reading for inspiration
Got more hours at work
Hoping to get it back do more
Get more out off life
Not being selfish but know what needs to be done
Taking pride in all aspects
No more compromise for less
Aim to be the best live be more