Shuttling between foster homes
life shaped me
to who I am,
while love and hypocrisy
played hide and seek
I drowned my real self.

Now I stand
on the road's end
looking for directions,
while passers by
stare at me
asking each other,
'Lost sanity, isn't she?'

I look on
baleful eyes
silent and wondering:
if life gave me choices,
where would I stand?


'

Mammoth butterfly
on red, spring rose
drinking nectar, ah,
more and more.

Spring breeze sweeps in
playing with the rose
makes it dance
till butterfly can sit no more.

Butterfly, butterfly
don't go,
wan't more kisses
cried the rose.

Wishes run, hopes soar
and I just don't know
where to stop
when my being
wants to be held,
just someone
to be there
outside flesh and blood
blended into one being.

Hold me, hold me
please, sh...sh...
not a word at all.

How do you fix feelings
that like melted butter
getting solid again
coil back to numb pains ?

What do you do
when feelings like
tasty frosting
taste salty
instead of sugary
and creamy
hmmmmm...
taste like salty grime?

How do you
fix a pizza
with too much salt in
you can't throw it
in the bin
for hunger gnaws
in terrible pains.

What do you do
if you want to throw out
that inedible cake
but have to swallow it all?

What do you do
when the life you live
is not what you wish
but have to keep breathing?

Take sleeping pills
go to sleep
and never wake up
is that what you do?

Shhhhh
but you can't tell anyone
never, never
till you see or not see me again.

Snow covered ground
Fading under the sun,
Bare branches of nostalgic summer
Gazing at the still dark creek;
The earth breathe quietly
Burning fire at its core,
Making love like never before
To the teasing mistress of Spring.

Wait, I am holding breath
there's a thought
that keeps me
if that breath comes
I will lose
lose it all.

Wait, wait,
I cannot breathe
no, not now.

I found life
life didn't want me,
this is how it is
was meant to be.
Tears, don't come
I can't wipe you
no,
not any more.