I had a moment yesterday
where I had something to say
to you.

But you can never know.

So I came up with this concept
to keep in mind, keep to yourself
if you want to get to know me
not gonna mention date me, love me
I have a list of don't you dares.

Don't bother telling me
your favorite bands
  I can't even learn of
new music from you
I need to be able to listen to
good music
after you're gone.
We won't have our song.

Don't tell me what you like to eat
in fact, tell me what you can't stand
it will be hard enough
eating at all
when you leave
I'll need to enjoy something
I know would be
Wasted on you
Like I do

I don't need to know what you smell like
You don't need to come to my place
Because then when you leave
I won't have to upheave
All my stuff that you left with your trace

Let's never go to the same spots
We don't need our own special place
It's hard enough to get out on my own
Without memories tied to your claims

Please don't ever give me anything
Material items at least
Because I only have myself to give away
And I've already been picking up the pieces

For hours, and ours.

Most days I feel like a loading screen
I mean I always go in circles
move slow
end up
blank.

I have too much data stored
my memory is low
I need to send but no message is received
and all my files are corrupt.

Every soul I've met
has left me wanting
craving to know more
for that connection

But I will get the error 404
that tells me I have system failure
and once again I'll have to restart
try again.

Yet as I walk through doors
I'm left standing in the hallways
chasing the taste of laughter
only catching up with silence

Still I'm left with hope
for what's around that corner
even with charred fingertips
I turn those handles

Must be a glitch in my matrix
because even though I try
I can't erase my hard drive
and while all the nothing between us
still lingers...

I keep seeking corners.

Vacantly I stare
Through the atmosphere
Into all other worlds
Not my own.

All I need is to breathe
But I'm swimming in fear
No hope in letting go
What I have known has been stolen.

With no guidance or trust
In what needs to be, must
The worried whisper in my ear
money, money, money...

In my heart I know
Love is the flow
But see only tears in my eyes
As those Spacious Skies

Turn into burning orange lava
Overnight.

Mostly I'm just overwhelmed
With avoidance
Feeling spells
Coming at me from all sides

Blindsided

I have to be careful with
Losing myself in all this
Scared it could turn out to be
Such utter responsibility

Blind Sighted

But one thing in all this time
I have noticed that all my
Fears and Doubts come from my Past
Only knowing longing last

Blindsided

My life is turning out to be
More than I could ever need
Instead of jealousy and stress
Massive love bursts out at best

Now what comes next I can't forsee.