Shiloh

Shiloh Nov 2013

Silence.

Completely alone when surrounded by love
is a concept most might think cliche
it could be entirely the individuals way of thinking
but sometimes the people are to blame.

The sound that is deafening
when you cannot hear a thing
left in the singular sense
with the noise in your head

Something that we all go through
on one level or another
yet there is no one who cares enough
to help themselves or those around

This is never going to end
if it all keeps going like this
I need help I can't reach
which makes me think the only solution
is escaping to a cabin in the woods
to surround myself with Silence
and never have anything to do with
another human ever again.

Shiloh Nov 2013

Empty Cup.

Sometimes I feel I need someone to surround me
to cancel out the darkness inside
having nowhere to hide
but always constantly running

Watching my toes have nothing beneath them
watching the rocks fall down below
knowing I have nowhere to go
I could just fall... down...

I never expected this to be easy
but having so many conflicting thoughts
with the plague of emotion they brought
make me sick and I wanna call it quits

Finding out just how extremely
I wish to bleed
curling into a tight ball
screaming silently until the sweat beads

No way to get through this
No way to succeed
No way to get enough speed
to keep moving endlessly

With everything the universe has to offer
seemingly against me
I can't keep doing this
fully realizing that with those vibrations
ultimately sending my path to a self fulfilling apocalypse.
But at this point... I give zero *****.
Let Me Go.

Shiloh Nov 2013

Strength.

Always in the background
never gaining a second glance
people do what they think is required of them
but I never get the chance

I see you in the reflection
of the person you wish I could be
I honestly don't think I have
the ability to change

The Strength in me has waned
to the point it physically hurts to smile
knowing that around the corner...
wishing I could fall into the endless black

to relieve the stress I always seem to manage
on everyone else, to leave their lives
they would grieve, for a little while
but I could be a part of something... else.

time is endless
all powerful
yet completely relative
I can recognize the hate in myself
I see the choices lay out before me
I am almost the person of my worst nightmares
and am entirely clueless about how to get back
when I am hanging of the edge with one finger
attached to a very thin fraying thread...

Shiloh Nov 2013

Between A Rock and A Hard Place.

As the world passes me by
I sit ever so still
Knowing that if I move
I could just crumble away

Becoming the eye of the storm
The wind and water beating my skin
I do not move
I am a rock
My heart is stone

That is how I should be
Not letting anything get to me
But with all the noise and distractions
Not a soul notices my tears in the rain.

Shiloh Nov 2013

Sands of Clay.

Being left alone
kept away from everything ordinary
the busy streets of 'normal life'
the elements from this gorgeous earth
become a part of me
making me truly whole.

Never minding the dust
the dirt, the stones, the grass, the trees
letting them wash all over
connecting to my skin
as well as my soul.

Being in a so called solitary confinement
singularly channeling my positivity away from
everything that is directed towards most people
to think less of their potential
making things easier
for those of us that
wish to use our minds less.

You make me eternally grateful
my wildest wishes and hopes and dreams made true
the longer I spent living my ways without you
the stronger I felt everything around me
was just wrong.

Your inspiration surrounds me in waves
making each to day worth waking up to
actually appreciative of the person I am
finally noticing what together we could achieve
dancing in beat to the falling leaves
all I see around me
is the beauty
and the calm.

Shiloh Oct 2013

Full Moon.

Deeply taking in my surroundings
glancing at the shine of the night's light
soaked with invigoration
breathless anticipation
as I tiptoe with bare feet
following the clues
leading me to...

Shiloh Oct 2013

Potential.

To live life in fear
leaves a bad taste in my mouth
the difference being
my life now is not led in fear
I am just a shell
with bad habits and routine.

Everyone tries to give me advice
the next steps to being
their version of a better person
thinking that I'm lazy
or that I won't end up good enough.

It really doesn't matter what others think
I am the only one I can count on
the only one I will share my entire existence with
hark work and perseverance have never been the issue
so many have been willing to give up
on me because they assume.

I have learned so much all by myself
never expecting and never receiving the help
they claim is all they have ever given me
I know the right answers
I now know to wait until the right time comes.

Patience had never been my specialty
countless times giving up and feeling alone
without a doubt every single time
I sit back and relax into my being
forgetting about our world and its so called rules
everything else falls perfectly into place.