Shiloh

Shiloh Jul 2013

Jade.

Constantly erased from my mind
you seem to finally be gone
then I'll turn a corner
and you'll be there
your favorite color
the way you smell
there are endless amounts of simplicities that bring back the memory of you...

I won't remember my dreams for a couple weeks
then I wake up in the middle of the night remembering your touch
always in love with only ever the idea of you...

wondering if we will ever be in the same place in life at the same time
wishing I could see past your muddy waters
hoping for the day you yearn to understand me
there are no limits to the amount of time I would spend waiting for you...

I have long since realized the desire has been dead
but still that sparkle lights up my eyes...
perhaps one day.

Shiloh Jul 2013

Bad Seed.

just how far is this all supposed to go
the best thing for me is to never let it cross my mind again
but yet it does
there it is
lingering
refusing to leave
I almost wish I knew what went through your mind
if you honestly forget or if you are really full of it
do you expect anything from me
there is simply nothing I can do
you have gone ahead and crossed the line
wasting every last bit of my time
you could have just kept pretending to pretend
I would have been fine
but you waited to use the fact that I never speak to you
as an excuse
to come back around
trying to apologize for something I don't even remember
super miniscule on the novel of things you have to apologize for
I wouldn't even care
but you are the worst at being the worst
you can't do anything right
please leave me alone
and continue doing absolutely nothing worthwhile with your time.

Shiloh Jun 2013

DGAF

I can always count on my bad rhyming
also not so great with timing
but I'm somehow surprisingly finding
at certain times to climb to the top,
be the best,
to let what others think of me stop me from doing anything
has never been who I am.
It should feel amazing to others
to see this side of me that is usually buried
being the only one that knew myself so well
hurt in a kind of sideways way
writing, when I can find the time to rhyme
is my connection to my gorgeous universe
I love people in this wondrous anonymous way
I strive to find and basically worship every single one of our differences
because why should we believe in something that encourages
changing the beautiful human race
into sheep or batteries
I want to fall in love with general acceptance and caring about things that actually matter
so maybe some will not like me
that is fine
hopefully people will disagree with me
and be willing to constructively discuss their reasons
to expand one's mind is a never ending process
and maybe I used to care, once upon a time
but as a sure thing right now
this is me and you can take it or leave it
it's all up to you.

Shiloh Jun 2013

Here.

surrounded
enveloped
covered by you
always around
but wanting more
my passion has come back
you are my only inspiration
lying in wait
in the background
so patiently
I could never have asked for something so close to perfection
not knowing what I would do without you
now I have the reason
the motivation
the trust
the fire
it's all back
what I prided myself on
for being such the Virgo
the will to endlessly serve
to create
to love
is now engrained in my DNA
and is here to ******* stay.
<3

I am devoted only to me.

Shiloh Jun 2013

Mush.

as the dust settles into the corners of my mind
everything turns out to be just fine
the blankets of clouds ease the pain I once felt
the drops of rain ending this seemingly forever drought
tossing and turning in the middle of the night
making everything I come across in life, a big pointless fight
but once I got the chance to glance into your perfect gaze
I couldn't imagine being any other place

but here.
Always with you.

Being this happy never felt like a possibility
incredibly surprised by the waves of tranquility
not running anymore, I hope I am now actually ready
to accept the fact I am simply supposed to be this happy.

A love poem to myself.

Shiloh Jun 2013

Anymore.

Never being able to sleep
always seems to be the theme of my life
the soundtrack so dramatic
action packed and inappropriate

However the reasons now have changed
my heart beating at a different pace
thinking I can finally answer
all the questions burning in my mind

Being the being I have always wanted to be
is fulfilling in so many countless ways
having lost so much time over chasing this concept
never expecting to actually capture it

Not endlessly striving for perfection
just wanted to be relatively understood
my thoughts always so busy in my before
with everything else in my now has been soothed

Feelings sometimes get the better of me
like the rug pulled from under me, caught unawares
the best I can do is follow the direction they lead
but this time the end result completely unknown

With complete anticipation
yearning, aching, and almost desperation
I take one tiny step forward
and, clumsy me, fall flat on my face

The difference is
as I lay with my inbetweens
I will forever always get up
never letting the fall get my very best

Not anymore.

Shiloh Jun 2013

Sandy Breeze

Softly remembering the quiet whispers of the morning wind
Everything is slowly fading now, starting to feel like just a dream
Part of me wishes I could go back to the way things were
The calm covering me like waves of water
bringing me back
to moving forward
and I know nothing will ever be the same.