Let the paper be the dancefloor of your pen
and let your heartbeat be the beat of your music.
Let your hands sway according to the flow of the notes
of the feelings that you feel right now.
Let your mind play on the playground of thoughts
And let your surrounding be the inspiration of your poem

i lost a best friend.

i lost a best friend who meant a lot to me. she was someone i knew i could lean on because she was there for me, always. she would listen to the most usual rants ever. from my daily encounters to any random thing that fascinated me most of the time.  she was also there for me during sad parts of my life. she meant a lot to me. i would tell her all about what ive been through and how hard life can get, and for me, it felt good. knowing someone cared you know? i cared for her too. i would listen. i would be there for her whenever she needed someone. most of the time, it was me. one time, she called me up during a school day crying over how she can't deal with her father who doesn't care about her family, and is having affair with a 25 year old woman. i cried with her. we knew each other deep down, even if words couldn't be put in sentences. i always read her. always did. felt like she read me too. so well, so good. like puzzle pieces. we just fix somehow.

until one day she left me for someone who would never care for her as much.

i lost a best friend.

i lost a best friend to a boy who could never love her back.

could never love her back like i do.

i thank the Lord
for rainy days
and sweaters paired with shorts
my brother's joy
lofi music
warmth in my heart
and comfy beds -

maybe you too.

jealous girls
they won't tell you when they are
they'll shut up about it
make sure no one knows about it

keep still, don't move
but watch
quietly
observe every move he makes
but don't spill, though
you'd get caught.

that girl he's linking arms with
you burn in envy
don't turn red, my dear
you'd get caught.

check his every post online
hoping for a day he would reply
take time, maybe late at night
**** doesn't happen like that
but always stay silent
you'd get caught.

if hope was for the weak
maybe you are one of 'em
grouped in sorrow
you say your every prayer
don't talk too loud, remember
you'd get caught.

he doesn't know the hurt
in your eyes
everytime you see him
with someone else
when he asks
"are you okay?"
you do not answer
because
darling,
keep still, don't move
you'd get caught.