Your beautiful words
To a special woman
I search I search
To find myself in them

Could I be the star
You reach for
Could I be the one
That you adore

Despite my hope
Despite my plea
These words you write
Weren't meant for me

Only for her
Whom your words speak to
No words for me
I have from you

I grow dizzy watching you
Swinging this way and that
As if I'm nothing to lose
Just a bothersome gnat

I remain in the background
I wait and see
Unable to make a sound
While you torture me

I can't take much more
Of your careless ways
My eye is on the door
I'm coming out of this daze

I will soon use my voice
Rise upon my feet
You no longer get the choice
Of choosing me

Your intoxicating gaze makes me drunk with desire
Kissing my mouth with your warm supple lips
Pulling me in closer
I feel your hands on my hips  and I ache for more

You are mine for the taking and I greedily take what you offer
I fill up from your physical touch
Satisfyingly so
I turn to find you in another world unable to keep away

You let out a satisfying sigh before you rise from my side
I hear a low murmur of hunger pangs and know I'm not enough
To keep you full
You leave me alone to satisfy your greed for her hyperbole

I used to watch her play in the poisonous sea
Dipping her feet into the water
Splashing
Only knee deep
She knew when it was too much
When she was playing in it too long
I remember holding her hand when the sea was too strong
Helping her get back on her feet

Her hopeful eyes of the future would pierce through me
Telling me to make her proud
To make her life better
She was always searching for something
Something to give her strength
Like the raging sea did

I still remember her dreams her life plans
Insecurities were strong but the future was ahead
How happy I was
Trusting her, trusting that she wouldn’t go too far
Responsibilities were too great for her then
She had to stand and carry herself, my brother and I
No time for the sea

Now she has slipped
Loneliness has caused the sea to fill
Filling up with poison from the bottles
That she consumed
She is neck deep and the sea is rising
I call out “Mom!”
Holding my hand out to catch her
She reaches but I can’t hold on
She keeps slipping
Drowning in the many bottles of poison with which she consumed

Memories of when
I used to watch her play in the poisonous sea
Dipping her feet into the water
Splashing
Only knee deep