Twenty five the angel will be
I remember when she’d just gotten her wings
The white hair cascading around
my sadness
Filling me with light

The Angel wanted to die but she gave me life
Isn’t it funny
A decade goes by and the wings became pink like a sunset on a November night . Fifteen to twenty five .oh my how high she has flown,
She offers her hand and I take it
we embrace above the clouds
Pink and orange and blue and colors no one else will ever be able to see .

walking on and around broken glass
I gingerly avoid the shards of my heart
I’ve already bled enough, it smells like quarters
In my bedroom

Seeing colors within the blackness
I wish it all to fade
The fire that covered my world in ash
Was black on my pink sweater and grey
Under my nails
And i wish the fire was in me
And not in my apartment
Where I had buried so very much
And hidden what truly mattered
And I wish the fire was in me , and I wish it was extinguished
Shut off the lights
Please it hurts my eyes

falling,
But slowly
Kindly
I see the faces I have loved
And lost

I hit the water
Slip soundly beneath
The old bridge
And the seaweed
Sings me a sad song

believe it or not,
my silence bleeds
a pool of almost purple.
it runs down my chin
drips onto the carpet.
you can follow the trail
spelling nothing, nothing
nothing.

running and reaching and leaving
Behind

time dissolves on my tongue
bitter, the sweet will come later,
Darling.
How I ache and oh the surprise!
In the mirror
to see I have not yet
Rotted; Visibly.
short grey hairs whisper
hurry hurry hurry
hurry hurrY hurRY
hurrY hurRY huRRY
hurRY huRRY hURRY
huRRY hURRY HURRY
hURRY HURRY HURRY
HURRY HURRY HURRY

I find the locket I lost
It was at the bottom of the wash
Clean and serene and free of you

Sitting, seeping silently into sadness,
Solitude (how dear to this heart)

As I drive the wriggling starts up again
Behind my eyes it crawls and laughs

happiness eludes me like
a frightened rabbit run rabbit
Run
I leave out lettuce
Truce?
They eat at my table and leave

The nothingness takes up so much room
It invades every crevice consuming the light
It starts small and grows grows growls into
You

purple sky sunset
ride the waves of nostalgia
to the beach
ripped jeans and broken hearts
she used to smile at me on cloudy days
i'm running out of time to die young

so many pieces
i've left behind
it's hard to see the whole
this ache is held in other hands
you know how I feel
Im sick Im transparent
slipping into the void

tell me the most lovely sky
is over my head tonight

Hello Biggs
Bigg eyes
With the horns on top
Little arms
Sad and sitting
Always staring into my soul
Goodnight
Bigg eyes

I think I found my soulmate
A long time ago
But I hurt her
And now we’re lost
Still connected by an invisible thread
Tangled and taunt
We walk away from
Each other
But really I still feel her
And I know
She feels me too

find me under the willow tree
the moon sleeps low in the sky
call to my heart through tears
which flow, dancing down a white river

forget me under the brazen sun
the air breathes out cloudy thoughts
silencing the birds who cry
the flying arrow the sound of a new life

and her mind was not clear
she did not look up at the clouded night
nor did she stop to contemplate
the meaning of anything or lack thereof

no,
she was already gone, drowned
eyes unseeing and empty
when she stepped of the bridge
and fell like a lost star
down fast
into the darkness,
plunging out of existence
into an ever expanding universe

I want to be an artist
Who creates meaning and spreads love
I don’t want to be an addict
Who loses their direction in a pill bottle
And throws up their morals
Into a trap house toilet

I want to be the rainbow on a rainy day
I want to breathe and know that I’m the best
I can be
I want to be new

I miss you
I think about the ugliness of my past
The sad story I have become
I had you in the time I was drowning
Now I’m dry on the shore
But you’re long gone
And we’re
Still under the same sun
but I might as well
Be in another galaxy

finding solace in solitude
I grow around myself,
swirling soundly around bones and sadness,
I sit in some sort of serenity.

so many people moving around
Some are going somewhere, other places
Others stumble into the wrong alleys or fall into holes in the cement
Lots walk in the direction of the arrows
I don’t know what is the right way to go
We all fall asleep
I lose myself in the faces
Are they all me or do I matter in my drop of ocean
I can’t ever see past the horizon
And my eyes are weak to begin with
So many joys but children die every day
I do not find comfort in much

Pink slippers with rose colored tights
First position
Second position
Third position
      Fourth position,
Fifth and. Sixth!
I loved the Nutcracker
I wanted to be a true Ballerina
  Stand on my toes and twirl
Faces swirl and I bow,
The curtain comes down as I take another
Pink pill.

I wake up and he's stealing my innocence

he hurts me he hurts me he hurts me
let me ******* pretty doll he whispers

I try to speak but my tongue is broken
Icantpleaseiveneverdonethisstop

He smiles

I open my mouth to scream but it doesn't matter
His hand clamps down on me  
There is no point
No one will hear
no one ever listens to me anyways

i can't tell whether the wetness on my face is from my own tears or from his open mouth

he puts something else in my mouth  andIcan'tfuckingbreathe
godpleasehelpme
and suddenly everything is black

when I wake up again there is something in my mouth and in my eyes and on my face and in my hair and in my brain and in my soul and in my bones and I throw up his putrid sins all over my body



I look down and there is poisonous snow and blood between my legs

i am a china doll shattered below the waist
but my dress covers my brokenness
and it's a **** good thing I have a smile painted on my face

the remote came crashing off my dresser
at the same time that my head bounced of the wall and landed in the fish tank

but it's okay because
this way no one will know I'm crying

the thoughts in my brain
talk so violently!
they naw and hiss and claw

my skinny knees
shake so violently!
until they collaspe from under me

two small hands
shudder so violently!
as the razor screams into my wrist

I hear in
Your voice
The hum of
A busy bustling bumble bee but
More like
Salty seaweed sandy ocean spray
and
hellgirl
Loves her
Fairy boy

voids are places we forget about
I get lost in my daydreams and stumble upon them
oh hello, old friend. Tell me,
how can you miss the absence of nothing?

I never write anymore
But I call myself an artist
We never talk anymore
But all my thoughts are about you
And the poems too.

I flush myself down the toilet
Into the murky waters of the sewers
I let the rats naw on me and the insects crawl
into my ears
I will just pretend it is not happening
there is no light here to shine on my grave

I lost you in
color

But my world is
Black and white

Now I Can’t find
The ground
In this endless sky
It’s beautiful but
I’m drifting
Into the sun

And maybe that’s what was meant to be all along

little hello again
Falling back into the fathomless depths
a flame in the water
so much against it
the laws of nature
but it still burns
when I think of her

i write it out on paper
But it's not
Okay
I call I call I call
But there is no answer

I am waiting for the day
I lose myself
Completely

I know it's coming
It looms over my shoulder
Whispering ***** sins into my ears
telling me that
I am worthless

I wish you would pick up the phone
I wish I wasn't a drug addict
I wish I wasn't a ****** person

I need peace
where is my mind?

why am i always
so ******* tired

no matter how much i sleep

why do i scream at my mother
get out
when she only wants to give me her love

i am sick


and in my brain
there lives a dark and cunning monster
who has the prettiest face
i have ever seen

for some reason
i think this is why

in the cabinet there was a bottle
inside were mysteries
white like the moon
round like her cheeks

no one knows why she opened it
no one knows why she crushed them
no one knows why she inhaled
not even her

The galaxy inside of me
Implodes the pain inside
Too heavy too much
At one time
folding into myself
Spinning out of control
My existence transcends
The end of billions of years
The unfathomable inside
Unthinkable , never to be understood
Winks out of the time
We see.

you left
when the blood was flowing
out of my neck

the wound
oozing pain and anguish
festered, pus and oil

it scabbed over
but the infection still raged
war against my heart

you're the poison in my bloodstream
and one day day my heart just might
stop

soft pink
daisy yellow
sky blue
lillypad green
cloud white

pills

my life
his life

filled with beautiful pastels
we even see them in our nightmares

fat yellow hens are the best chickens
in the whole world
I had one once, and her name was Buffy
to this day, I know she was a drop of sun
Her only wish, to warm the hearts of those around her

his hands were touching me so
softly
and somehow my lips
touched his
and his hands were down my pants
and his teeth were on my neck
and my moans were in his ear

but I knew he wasn't
you

you're the single angel in a demension of demons

see what the **** I love the **** outta you

awh Robbie

i wanna put my head under one of these plane tires and fall asleep