a pink jacket that
came from pink cheeks
the day you had the pink above your eyes
i became infatuated with the color

i see pink in the darkest of things
i see it in my dreams
and when i close my eyes it's no longer darkness
but a pink warmth
it makes me calm and tranquil

i used to take pink pills
to give me the same feeling

now i just want to see
the pink of your cheeks
and
the pink in your heart
and
the pink in your soul

as i watched you unstrip
i saw for the first time
a body i wanted
lastly for lust
i could not get close enough
to you even if i were
inside you
i was inside you and
i wanted closer
i wanted to rip through
your skin and get
straight to your soul
i wanted our innermost beings
to be clashing with
each other in intimate
yet rough ways

i had to take off the pink jacket
to smoke my cigarette and as i
took off my safety net
i filled my lungs with what i knew
was a detriment to the length of my life
yet all
i could think about is
how long i wanted to live with you
how ironic

saturday
fairy boy comes home
but this time
he won't be seeing me

because there are things to be done
and people to be seen
and i am not one of them

my mother
Has short brown hair that frizzes up in the heat
And warm brown eyes that inform
An eisteinian brain
She is beautiful
Inside and Out

my head feels
like a stomach of alcohol
bursting, sick, warm, dizzy
i can't steady
my train of thought
itisfallingoffthetracks
there's a fire in my head
and when I look in the mirror
there is blood running down my face from my eyes and
from my shorts
and suddenly my mind starts working again
remember? it whispers
yes i do