my pillow still smells like smoke
it reminds me of those nights in my bed
your head between my legs
and paradise all around us

I think
I finally understand
Love

The fact is,
It's completely
unpredictable

i understand
how goldfish feel

my thoughts are trapped
in the bowl of my brain

my mind is a sick old man
he vomits evil thoughts
yourparentshateyou

and pumps malice like blood through my veins
slityourwrists
Itswhatyoudeserve

he whispers my dirtiest sins into my ears
as if I had forgotten them
youreadrugaddict

when I try to sleep
he reminds me that I am a filthy *****
doyourealizehowsluttyyouare
thinkaboutalltheguysyouvefucked­
youregoingtohell

He snickers at my doubts
hedoesntloveyoustupidbitchyourejustsomethingtofuck

but everyday he grows older and more frail
and one of these days, death will come to him
and I will finally be free

when I see my mother's worried eyes
and I know that I let her down
I wish I could go back in time
and turn my life around

the sky is dark
but I know somewhere south
blue hair and blue eyes
look north to
brown hair and brown eyes
and inside of me I am filled with sun

i don't remember the day you decided to leave
the pills were pink
this is the only thing I know for sure