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Sep 15 · 18
where she went
trin Sep 15
i always ask myself

where did the little girl i once was go?
is it my fault she had to grow up so fast?

she went from painting on canvas and playing with sidewalk chalk,
to drawing lines on her skin, painting a blank canvas red

she went from dreaming of worlds created in her imagination,
to desperately trying to hold on the the reality slipping through her fingers like sand

she went from seeing bad decisions as eating too much junk and staying up too late,
to driving too fast, trying things she knows will hurt her and change her

she went from loving seeing her family and spending time with them,
to dreading every second with them, fearing the things they’ll say

she went from eating anything she wanted, worry free,
to counting every calorie, the scale was her new best friend

she went from wearing bright colors and crazy patterns,
to only black and grey, fearing what people may say

she went from being so confident, beautiful, and bright,
to a shell of everything that once made her radiate light

she went from being alone all the time,
to finding people that were like sunshine in her dark place

she stopped being scared of asking for help
she started reaching out on her own

she stopped being scared of what they may say,
she dares them to try to break her smile

she stopped laying low and keeping quiet,
she holds herself high and isn’t scared to speak her mind

she stopped letting the world control who she was and what she does.
she became her own person, learning to love herself more and more everyday

the little girl grew up
she went through hell

it made her stronger
it made her the person she is today

which leads me to now
leads me to today

where she stays
constantly fighting

for a life she finally believes is worth it
Sep 12 · 27
<3
trin Sep 12
<3
i fell for him because he was there through the nights i didn’t want to be alone

but now

i’m falling for you because you’re there through every moment, even when i don’t need you to
Aug 25 · 25
little white lies
trin Aug 25
for the first time in a long time

you reminded me of why i taught myself to hide what i feel and why i started to tell people the little white lies they all learned to love

but to answer your question

yes

i’m okay
Jul 14 · 371
kerosene
trin Jul 14
you’re the kerosene that keeps me aflame

yet after all this fire i always end up feeling numb
i’m so tired of being numb
May 25 · 45
burn
trin May 25
while cleaning my room
i found one of your notes on the floor
i decided to read it
and then i realized
losing you didn’t hurt anymore
i burned all the others
May 2 · 38
thoughts
trin May 2
thoughts full
of jagged lines
scarlet drops
crystal tears
red stained bandages
hidden pain
smeared makeup
tubes of healing creams
red stained hands
red drops on porcelain sinks
spotty vision
haggard breaths
shaking limbs
stinging pain
i just want them to go away
Apr 5 · 38
who
trin Apr 5
who
who told you that you could keep breaking my heart after it was already broken?

who gave you that right. because i’m certain it wasn’t me.
Apr 2 · 555
hard to love
trin Apr 2
he tells me
that i’m good
i’m important
i’m loved

she tells me
that i’m kind
i’m funny
i’m sweet

he tells me
that i’m amazing
i'm beautiful
i’m understanding

they all tell me
that i’m easy to love
easy to want
easy to know

i tell myself
that i’m annoying
i’m too much
i’m hard to love

i don’t understand why i can’t see what they see
Feb 27 · 81
poison
trin Feb 27
how do you make it so that your compliments seem as if they’re filled with poison
Dec 2019 · 424
feel
trin Dec 2019
for someone who feels so much
you make it look effortless to feel nothing
Sep 2019 · 146
promise
trin Sep 2019
you promise me you won’t go
you promise me you’ll stay
you promise that you won’t give up
you promise you’ll keep fighting

how can i believe you when you once told me that promises are meant to be broken
Sep 2019 · 180
stranger
trin Sep 2019
bright eyes
shining smiles
laughing melodies

scared glances
sad memories
unsaid words

from the closest of friends
to the most perfect strangers
Sep 2019 · 65
you
trin Sep 2019
you
you were my first salvation
now you will be my final damnation
Sep 2019 · 67
After
trin Sep 2019
hearts stop beating
blood stops flowing
tears start falling

no more breath
no more life
no more love

the sun still rises
life goes on
the world keeps spinning

eyes lose light
smiles lose shine
never the same

a life gone
friends lose friends
family loses family

a distant memory
a faint remembrance
a mental scar

here one day
gone the next
never ending hurt

— The End —